爱华网不管是写推荐信还是评语，美国和中国之间存在较大的差异。有中国家长说美国老师的评语不容易看懂。这不仅是因为家长与老师之间隔着一层语言障碍，更是因为老师的评语有自己的风格，体现的是美国人鼓励式教育的特点。那么，家长如何才能真正读懂老师的评语，了解到孩子在学校的真正表现呢？
学校开学的时候，要对新老师做的第一件事就是培训老师如何写学生评语和开家长会。有人会问：写评语和开家长会还有什么可以培训的？不就是相互交流，把孩子真实的情况转达给家长不就完事了吗？实际上，美国人对于这些事，做的比我们想象得复杂。在美国读初高中的学生家长都知道，平时收到的老师评语不容易看懂。这是为什么呢？因为它已经被包裹了一层糖衣。先抛开英语语言的障碍不说，要真正读懂老师对学生的评语，家长们必须要懂得美国老师说话的技巧和背后的文化。我在担任国际学生导师时，不仅要在学习和生活上关心、指导小留学生，更有一个很重要的责任，就是要及时与他们的父母进行沟通。平时几乎每两个星期，我都会通过电子邮件与学生父母进行沟通，年终我还会给他们写具体的报告。下面的信就是我寄给一个中国学生父母的总结（名字做了适当改变）。Dear Mr. and Mrs. Lee，It has been a pleasure to serve Lee as her advisor. I hope this letter can help you better understand the relationship Lee and I have developed since September.Lee has an excellent academic record, one of the tops. I am most impressed with her prompt adjustment to excelling in a rigorous curriculum at a private school in the U.S. Among many international students, she is one of the most successful. On the most recent test in Calculus, she earned the only perfect score in her class. Out of the five classes she is taking, physics proves to be the most challenging course, partly due to her still developing language skills and partly due to having insufficient time in class to review material. On the other hand, her physics teacher, Mr. Cirmo has spoken highly of Lee‘s work on many occasions. For all juniors, college applications are on the horizon. To best prepare for it, Lee will be formally introduced to the college counseling department next month for step one. Having a strong and personal relationship with the department as well as with teachers and coaches will help her with recommendation letters, which in some cases make a big difference for college admissions. Aside from high GPAs, Lee has already begun preparing for the SATs. She may also want to consider SAT tutoring services. Along with the SATs, the TOEFL test is equally important if not more. A strong TOEFL score will help improve the overall testing profile for Lee, particularly when the SATs are less familiar to international students. As we both may agree, academics are of the utmost importance. However, in order to have a full experience of boarding school life in America, I would encourage Lee to make friends outside the circle of Chinese students. I have not witnessed much interaction between Lee and American students. One of the ways to initiate friendship is to offer language help to American students who are studying Chinese on campus. The Academy has begun to offer Mandarin Chinese as a foreign language. Volunteering her time to tutor American students would not only help her make new friends, but also enhance her college application. Should you have questions or concerns, please feel free to contact me. You may also communicate with me in Chinese. I can best be reached at 800-111-3333 or emailed at [email protected]Best Regards,Jay Lin【译文】李先生、李太太：你们好!很荣幸我能成为李同学的指导老师。自从九月份开学以来，我和李之间建立起了融洽的师生关系，希望这封信能让你们更好地了解这种关系。李的成绩很优秀，名列前茅。面对美国寄宿高中严格的课程要求，她能迅速调整好自己的状态，这一点也让我刮目相看。在最近的一次测验中，她更是取得了班上唯一的“perfect”。在她选择的五门课程当中，物理课是最大的挑战，一方面是因为她初来乍到，还在提高语言水平的阶段；另一方面是因为课上留给学生复习的时间比较少。不过话说回来，李的物理课老师瑟莫先生常常对她的表现赞不绝口。作为一名11年级学生，李马上就要面临申请大学的一系列事宜。为了帮助她更好地做准备，下个月我会先正式安排她与升学指导办公室的老师见面。与老师们保持良好的关系，会对将来写推荐信很有帮助。有时候，一封好的推荐信会让她在一群申请学生中脱颖而出。除了取得出色的成绩以外，李也开始为学术能力评估测试（SATs）做准备了。她可能还准备申请SAT的单独指导。其实托福考试的成绩也和SATs同样重要，尤其是国际学生对托福考试比对SATs更熟悉，托福取得高分同样会为李给招生官留下的整体印象加分。我们都知道，学生最重要的是学业。不过，为了全方位体验在美国的留学生活，我会鼓励李跳出中国留学生的圈子，多与外面的人打交道。我发现李不太擅长和美国学生交流互动。其实，主动为那些学习中文的美国学生提供帮助，就是一条很好的交朋友途径。现在，学校为非中文母语的学生们开设了汉语普通话课程，她可以申请为学习这门课程的美国学生做家教，这样既能交到新朋友，又能在她的大学申请材料里增加一个闪光点。你们有任何不明白的或是关心的问题，请随时与我联系。你们也可以直接用中文与我交流。我的联系电话是800-111-3333，也可以给我发邮件：[email protected]祝好！Jay Lin显而易见，美国老师给家长的信函里，只有一些正面的和一些事实、建议的阐述。读者会看到该学生的许多优点，而且知道她在学业上比众多学生强，但是在谈到不足时，你不会找到她与其他学生的对比。听起来，似乎这个学生一切还都不错，就算有不足的地方，也不怎么糟糕，但其实不足的地方需要很大的改善。这就是美国人的鼓励式教育。优点，多讲；缺点，尽量委婉，不跟他人做比较。因此中国家长在解读美国老师的信件时，要注意领会老师字面背后的意思，要学会脱掉那一层客气，看到本质。
