爱华网系列专题：《点亮生活的智慧：人生之钥》
The symbiosis of domination, like any mutual dependence, is the enemy of love. Based on want, our greatest weakness, it makes us stunted, insecure. For if you rely on each other to fill the vacuum inside you, one of you is always bound to lose, as the other one dies, or simply moves on. So – if you wish to find a partner, foster your independence, over-come your needs. Thus released, you’ll have the best to offer: your own affluent heart. Give freely of your love. One day you’ll come across another giver, and then it will all fall into place, without any restrictions. You’ll both be ready for the ultimate gift: that of commitment. Trivia is poison for the soul. It wears you down, grates on your nerves, drives you to distraction. Mental breakdowns and stress-related illness are often due to pressures of the most meaningless kind. As for romance, few antidotes are as effective as the trials and tribulations of normal, everyday family life. Before you know it, endless concerns of little or no significance take up your entire field of vision. It takes something extraordinary, perhaps a brush with tragedy, to make you realize what you stand to lose. When a friend of ours died unexpectedly, leaving behind a wife and a young child, I wrote the following lines to my husband: My love, when you die –
if you die before me – I shall grieve. Not for your passing; I know better than that. What can’t be altered must be borne and gracefully accepted. But I shall grieve – oh how I shall grieve for each moment of our life together that we had and did not treasure: precious gifts left unopened, blossoms trampled underfoot. Celebrations lost forever. Sacrificed. Waylaid. Oh my love, how I shall mourn them. Many years ago in London, I was visited by a girl-friend in a highly emotional state. I was used to seeing her troubled, plagued by doomed or thwarted expectations, often lonely and depressed.
