爱华网第57节：Motherhood/母性(4)
系列专题：《点亮生活的智慧：人生之钥》
It was then that I realised the terrible encumbrance of parental love. How it keeps us fettered to this life, held to ransom, so that we can’t even die gracefully, without our hearts being broken. Since that day, I have only one prayer for myself: that I may live long enough to see my child able to get on without me. My only child has just started boarding-school. The house is painfully empty. It was the boy himself who wanted to go, backed up by his father. I resisted, with rational arguments and less rational emotions. In the end I confronted my husband and asked him why he wanted to send our son away to school. “Because I believe it would do him good,”was his straight answer. In the sleepless night that followed, I had to admit that he was right. By daybreak I had accepted that, whatever my own feelings, I had no right to hold up a process that would assist my child in his social and academic development. And I remembered the lines my mother wrote in a notebook the day I left home to study in a foreign country: When you were born, I said to myself, I shall never again be alone. Little did I realise that the infant I cradled in my arms was given to me on loan, to care for and prepare for the day when I would hand her over, to another life that I can share only from a distance. ‘Something only a mother could love.’ The phrase conjures up images of baby orang-utans, teenage hoodlums, repugnant monsters. It does suggest that a mother’s love is blind, oblivious to chara-cter disorders, to ugliness and failings; when in reality it is the other way round: maternal love is extraordinarily perceptive. When a mother looks upon her children, she sees not only what they are, but also what they may become. In her eyes, potential exceeds limitations. She is aware of the best in each one even when it’s not apparent. Her interpretations are kind, generous to a fault, always giving the benefit of the doubt. It says a lot about human nature that, more often than not, she’s proved right.
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