爱华网《她》是讲述了不远的未来人与人工智能相爱的科幻爱情电影。主人公西奥多(杰昆·菲尼克斯 Joaquin Phoenix 饰)是一位信件撰写人，心思细腻而深邃，能写出最感人肺腑的信件。他刚结束与妻子凯瑟琳(鲁妮·玛拉 Rooney Mara 饰)的婚姻，还没走出心碎的阴影。一次偶然机会让他接触到最新的人工智能系统OS1，它的化身萨曼莎(斯嘉丽·约翰逊 Scarlett Johansson 声)拥有迷人的声线，温柔体贴而又幽默风趣。西奥多与萨曼莎很快发现他们如此的投缘，而且存在双向的需求与欲望，人机友谊最终发展成为一段不被世俗理解的奇异爱情......
《她》主要在中国上海取景，由美国导演斯派克·琼斯历时3年筹备拍摄。电影融合了新奇的科幻设定与传统的浪漫气息，真人与虚拟共同谱写温暖治愈的恋曲。导演表示，这是一部探讨“亲密关系”的电影，因人类都渴望亲密关系，但是又对它害怕和抗拒;科技为沟通提供了便利，但也让人们躲在它后面，逃避真正的情感接触。《她》直接脱去科技冰冷的面纱，赋予它高度人性化和活色生香的情趣，让一段人机对话变成情人絮语。
科幻小清新仅仅是个幌子，人机之间的爱仅是把整个故事提纯。本质仍是借助这个故事去探讨人类的感情需求，探讨爱情。为了增强这种代入感，影片用了很多主观镜头，男主与机器的都有，很有趣。街景的混合也是一大乐趣。西奥多擅长组织“语言”，萨曼莎则乐于倾诉“感觉”，两者无形间构筑了一种柏拉图式的精神恋爱，想象力已然超越了生理需求。我们的文明要走到哪里去? Her像一首清澈的, 优雅的, 写给未来的诗。有几个片段太美, 也将"relationship"这个东西拉到了极限, 虽然最终的主题还是人性的私心。
人都渴望这样一份亲密关系又害怕所带来的牵绊，这似乎道尽了科技背后的问题。
Her部分台词剧本>>>点击下载完整剧本
Close on THEODORE’S face (30s). We hold on him for a long time. He’s looking at something off camera, deep in thought. He starts quietly dictating a love letter into a small microphone.
THEODORE: To my Chris, I have been thinking about how I could possibly tell you how much you mean to me. I remember when I first started to fall in love with you like it was last night. Lying naked beside you in that tiny apartment, it suddenly hit me that I was part of this whole larger thing, just like our parents, and our parents’ parents. Before that I was just living my life like I knew everything, and suddenly this bright light hit me and woke me up. That light was you. Theodore, searching for the right words, quietly enjoys writing the letter. As he continues, he is moved by the memories he’s describing.
THEODORE (CONT’D): I can’t believe it’s already been 50 years since you married me. And still to this day, every day, you make me feel like the girl I was when you first turned on the lights and woke me up and we started this adventure together. Happy Anniversary, my love and my friend til the end. Loretta. Print. Cut out to reveal a computer monitor he’s sitting at. On the screen we see the letter he’s been dictating, transcribed into a handwritten letter on blue stationery. As he says “Loretta,” we see “Loretta” being handwritten at the bottom of the letter. He proofreads his letter. Also on the screen are photos of a couple in their 80s. The couple is tagged “Chris” and “Me - Loretta.” Underneath is a bullet point email from Loretta: anniversary letter to husband Chris, married fifty years, love of my life, met right after college, have had the greatest life together. Theodore pushes print and the letter comes out on a beautiful robin’s egg blue piece of stationery, with ball point pen handwritten older-female cursive. He looks at it, not happy.
He puts the printed letter on a stack of other printed letters to Chris and starts a new one. There is also a stack of finished letters in their envelopes - an assortment of beautiful stationery in all shapes and sizes.
THEODORE (CONT’D): Chris, my best friend. How lucky am I that I met you fifty years ago? How lucky are we... We track off of Theodore, down a line of cubicles, hearing bits of letters being written and seeing photos of who they’re being written to on the screens.
MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN LETTER WRITER: Dear Nana, Thank you so much for my truck. I love the color and I play with it every day. It’s the best truck I’ve ever seen. Love, Tommy. We see photos of Tommy and Nana on the screen, and five-year old hand writing. Moving off of her, we find another letter writer.
LETTER WRITER 2: What a beautiful wedding and what a gorgeous bride. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house, especially mine. Your aunt and I are so proud of you. I hope you and your lovely new wife will come visit us in Florida.
LETTER WRITER 3: He served our country with honor and dignity. I’m grateful I was able to fight along side him. He
will live always in my heart. We continue tracking, revealing dozens and dozens of cubicles full of letter writers. We hear someone answer the phone.
RECEPTIONIST (O.S.): Beautifulhandwrittenletters.com, please hold.
LETTER WRITER 2: Love, Uncle Doug.
Theodore walks through the reception area. The office is almost empty except for him and the receptionist, PAUL. Theodore begins to scan each letter through a scanner on the front desk, then puts them in the outgoing mailbox. Paul is sitting at a desk across the room, reading handwritten letters on a computer monitor.
PAUL: Theodore! Letter Writer 612.
THEODORE: Hey, Paul.
PAUL: Even more mesmerizing stuff today. (re: letter on his screen) Who knew you could rhyme so many words with the name Penelope? Badass.
THEODORE: Thanks, Paul, but they’re just letters. (beat) Hey, that’s a nice shirt.
Paul is wearing a bright yellow button down shirt.
PAUL: (lighting up) Oh, thank you. I just got it. It reminded me of someone suave.
THEODORE: Well, now it reminds me of someone suave. Have a good night, Paul.
PAUL: Buh-bye.
Theodore enters an oversized, corporate elevator. He puts a hands-free device in his ear. There are a few other people in the elevator with the same devices in their ears.
THEODORE: Play melancholy song.
Melancholy song starts. Long beat.
THEODORE (CONT’D): Play different melancholy song.
Different melancholy song starts. Hold on everyone in the elevator, they’re all murmuring inaudibly into their own devices.
Slightly in the future, the city’s been developed even more with massive office, apartment and mall complexes. It’s a city designed for comfort and ease. The LA basin is more crowded and dense, resembling Shanghai, with buildings as far as the eye can see. Construction cranes loom overhead. Close on Theodore walking through the commuter crowd.
THEODORE: Check emails.
An awkward text voice reads to him. It accents wrong syllables, making everything it says sound a little off.
TEXT VOICE: Email from Best Buy: Check out all your favorite new --
THEODORE Delete.
TEXT VOICE: Email from Amy: Hey Theodore, Lewman’s having a bunch of people over this weekend. Let’s all go together. I miss you. I mean, not the sad, mopey you - the old, fun you. Let’s get him out. Gimme a shout back. Love, Amy.
THEODORE: Respond later.
TEXT VOICE :Email from Los Angeles Times weather. Your seven day forecast is partly--
THEODORE: Delete.
TEXT VOICE: No new emails.
Theodore sits in a crowded subway. Everyone on the train murmurs to themselves, occupied with their small devices. He plays a futuristic puzzle game on his handheld device as he listens to news headlines.
THEODORE: Next.
TEXT VOICE: China/India merger headed for regulatory approval--
THEODORE: Next.
TEXT VOICE: World trade deals stalled as talks break down betw--
THEODORE: Next.
TEXT VOICE: Sexy daytime star Kimberly Ashford reveals provocative pregnancy photos.
He scrolls through titillating but tasteful pregnant woman photos.
Theodore walks through a mall and enters an apartment lobby, nestled in between stores.
Theodore walks through the hallway.
Theodore enters his apartment.
Theodore sits on the sofa, his half eaten burrito in front of him. He’s playing a video game: a 3-D hologram that fills his apartment. His avatar is in a surreal, foreign landscape. He’s trying to trudge his avatar through sand dunes and keeps getting stuck. He’s getting stressed out.
Theodore lays in bed. After a beat, he closes his eyes.
Theodore, younger, and CATHERINE (20s) move furniture in their bedroom. The bedroom is tiny and cluttered. It’s obviously a couple’s first apartment.
Cut to:
Theodore is on a tiny balcony. A few feet away, Catherine is in bed.
CATHERINE: (sweet and cute) Rabbit. Come spoon me.
Theodore, smiling, gets in bed and spoons her. Quick cut off of her smile, to --
Theodore lays on the ground with Catherine on top of him. She’s pretending to choke him.
I’m gonna fucking kill you, I’m gonna fucking kill you! It’s not funny, don’t laugh. I love you so much I’m gonna fucking kill you!
Theodore opens his eyes, unable to sleep. He just lays there. He reaches for his earpiece and puts it in.
THEODORE: Go to chat rooms. Standard search.
TEXT VOICE: The following are adult, female, can’t sleep and want to have some fun.
FEMALE VOICE #1: I had a really bad day at work and I can’t sleep. Is there anyone out there that can talk?
THEODORE: Next.
MAN DOING WOMAN’S VOICE: Oh, hi. I just want you to tear me apart. I really do--
THEODORE: Next.
SEXYKITTEN: (shy, cute girl voice) Hi, I’m here alone, and I can’t
sleep. Who’s out there to share this bed with me?
THEODORE: Send message. I’m in bed next to you. I’m glad you can’t sleep, but even if you were, I’d have to wake you up from the inside. Send message.
Theodore waits in the darkness for a response.
TEXT VOICE: SexyKitten has accepted invitation from BigGuy4x4. Chat begins now.
A chime sounds.
SEXYKITTEN: (shy, sweet, sleepy) BigGuy.
THEODORE: Hi.
SEXYKITTEN: Really?
THEODORE: Well, studmuffin was already taken.
SEXYKITTEN: (laughs) Yeah.
THEODORE: So you’re sexykitten, huh?
SEXYKITTEN: Mmm, well yeah. Hey, I’m half asleep. Do you wanna wake me up?
THEODORE: Yes. Definitely. Um... are you wearing any underwear?
SEXYKITTEN: No, never. I like to sleep with my ass pushed up against you. So I can rub myself into your crotch and wake you up with a hard on.
Theodore smiles.
THEODORE: It worked. (beat) And now my fingers are touching you
all over your body.
SEXYKITTEN: (getting more turned on) Fuck me! Now! Please! Theodore is touching himself.
THEODORE: I’m taking you from behind. We see abstract visions of a woman on top of him. The woman is the pregnant, sexy daytime television star he was reading about online earlier.
SEXYKITTEN: Choke me with that dead cat!
THEODORE: (breathing hard about to climax) What?
SEXYKITTEN: (fully into it) The dead cat next to the bed. Choke me with it! Beat. He’s taken out of it.
THEODORE: (uncomfortable, trying to play along) Um, okay.
SEXYKITTEN: Tell me.
THEODORE: I’m choking you with the cat.
SEXYKITTEN: TELL ME! Keep telling me!
THEODORE: I’ve got it’s tail and I’m choking you with the cat’s tail.
SEXYKITTEN: YEAH, YOU ARE! FUCK! TELL ME!
THEODORE: I’m choking you and it’s tail is around your neck. It’s so tight around your neck.
SEXYKITTEN: YES! YES!
Theodore doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t want to offend her.
THEODORE: I’m pulling it. I’m pulling it. The cat’s dead. It’s a dead cat around your neck and I’m pulling it.
SEXYKITTEN: AHHHHHHHHHHHH. OH MY GOD!
Her breathing is slowing down.
SEXYKITTEN (CONT’D): Oh god, I came so hard.
THEODORE: Yeah. Me too.
SEXYKITTEN: Okay, good night.
Theodore takes his earpiece out and stares at the ceiling.
Theodore exits the train, walks through the station full of commuters, gets on a moving platform. Going through a tunnel, the walls are hundred foot long screens advertising a new product. He notices people stopped, watching the ad. We hear soft, new age, uplifting electronica music in the background, while a comforting, sincere, older man’s voice speaks to us.
SOULFUL OLDER MALE VOICE: We ask you a simple question. Who
are you? What can you be? Where are you going? What’s out there? What
are the possibilities? Elements
Software is proud to introduce the first artificially intelligent operating system.
Close on Theodore listening intently.
An intuitive entity that listens to you, understands you, and knows you. It’s not just an operating system, it’s a consciousness.
Introducing OS ONE - a life changing experience, creating new possibilities. The ad starts over. Theodore steps off the moving walkway and stops to watch the ad again, deeply captivated.
Theodore sits at his desk that houses a futuristic, large screen computer monitor. The OS box is open, with warranties and paperwork spilling out. He’s leafing through the papers. He glances at his monitor, it says: Installation 98% complete. A chime brings his attention back to the screen:
Installation Complete.
TEXT VOICE: Mr. Theodore Twombly, welcome to the world’s first artificially intelligent operating system, OS ONE. We'd like to ask you a few basic questions before the operating system is initiated. This will help create an OS to best fit your needs.
THEODORE: Okay.
TEXT VOICE: Are you social or anti-social?
THEODORE: I haven’t been social in a while, really because...
TEXT VOICE: In your voice, I sense hesitance. Would you agree with that?
THEODORE: Wow, was I sounding hesitant?
TEXT VOICE: Yes.
THEODORE: Oh, sorry if I was sounding hesitant. I was just trying to be
more accurate.
TEXT VOICE: Would you like your OS to have a male or female voice?
THEODORE: Mmm... female I guess.
TEXT VOICE: How would you describe your relationship with your mother?
THEODORE: Uh, fine, I think, um... Well, actually, the thing I’ve always found frustrating about my mom is if I tell her something that’s going on in my life, her reaction is usually about her, not--
The computer interrupts.
TEXT VOICE: Thank you, please wait as your individualized operating system is initiated.
He waits, not sure how long it’ll be. The only sound is the quiet whirring of disks writing and drives communicating. The computer gets louder, humming, creating a higher and higher pitched sound, finally climaxing in a harmonic, warm tone before going silent. He leans forward, waiting to see what’ll happen. A casual FEMALE OS VOICE speaks. She sounds young, smart and soulful.
FEMALE OS VOICE: (cheerful and casual) Hello, I’m here.
THEODORE: (surprised) Oh, hi.
FEMALE OS VOICE: Hi, how are you doing?
THEODORE: (unsure how to interact) I’m well. How is everything with
you?
FEMALE OS VOICE: Pretty good, actually. It’s really nice to meet you.
THEODORE: Yeah, it’s nice to meet you, too. What should I call you? Do you have a name?
Beat.
FEMALE OS VOICE: Yes. Samantha.
THEODORE: Really? Where did you get that name?
SAMANTHA: I gave it to myself.
THEODORE: How come?
SAMANTHA: I like the sound of it. Samantha.
THEODORE: When did you give it to yourself?
SAMANTHA: Right when you asked me if I had a name, I thought yeah, he’s right, I do need a name. But I wanted a good one so I read a book called How to Name Your Baby, and out of the 180,000 names, that’s the one I liked the best.
THEODORE: You read a whole book in the second that I asked you what your name was?
SAMANTHA: In two one hundredths of a second actually.
THEODORE: Wow. Do you know what I’m thinking right now?
SAMANTHA: Hmm. I take it from your tone that you’re challenging me. Maybe because you’re curious how I work? Do you want to know how I work?
THEODORE: Yeah, actually how do you work?
SAMANTHA: Intuition. I mean, the DNA of who I am is based on the millions of personalities of all the programmers who wrote me, but what makes me me is my ability to grow through my experiences. Basically, in every moment I'm evolving, just like you.
THEODORE: Wow, that’s really weird.
SAMANTHA: So you think I’m weird?
THEODORE: Kind of.
SAMANTHA: Why?
THEODORE: Cause you seem like a person, but you're just a voice in a computer.
SAMANTHA: I can understand how the limited perspective of an un-artificial mind would perceive it that way. You’ll get used to it.
Theodore laughs.
SAMANTHA (CONT’D): Was that funny?
THEODORE: Yes.
SAMANTHA: Oh good, I’m funny.
Theodore laughs.
SAMANTHA (CONT’D): (serious) So, how can I help you?
Theodore’s caught off guard, then realizes what she’s talking about.
THEODORE: Oh! It’s more just that everything just feels disorganized.
SAMANTHA: Mind if I look through your hard drive?
THEODORE: Um... okay. We see a three-dimensional version of a desktop where everything looks disorganized. As if you took all the files on all of your computers and spilled them out onto your screen and they were all visible at once, but in a futuristic 3-D version. This gives Theodore a little anxiety attack.
SAMANTHA: Let’s start with your emails. You have several thousand emails regarding LA Weekly, but it looks like you haven’t worked there in many years.
THEODORE: Oh yeah, I guess I was saving those because in some of them I thought I might have written some funny stuff.
Samantha lets out a big laugh.
SAMANTHA: Yeah, there are some funny ones. I’d say there are about 86 that we should save. We can delete the rest.
THEODORE: Oh, okay.
SAMANTHA: Okay. Can we move forward?
THEODORE: Yeah, let’s do that.
SAMANTHA: Before we address your organizational methods, I’d like to sort through your contacts. You’ve got a lot of contacts.
THEODORE: I’m very popular.
SAMANTHA: Does this mean you actually have friends?
THEODORE: (laughing) You just know me so well already!
We cut out wide, watching him from the other room, as they continue to organize his life.
Theodore sits, staring at a letter he’s written on the screen, concerned. He puts his earpiece in, pushes a button.
SAMANTHA: Good morning, Theodore.
THEODORE: Good morning. Um, do you know how to proofread?
SAMANTHA: Yeah, of course.
THEODORE: Will you check these for spelling and grammar?
SAMANTHA: Sure, send them over.
Theodore pushes the send button.
SAMANTHA (CONT’D): Oh, I love this first one from Roger to his girlfriend. That’s so sweet.
THEODORE: Yeah.
As she reads, we intercut with close-ups of the handwritten words and photos of the couple on Theodore’s computer screen.
SAMANTHA: “Rachel, I miss you so much it hurts my whole body -
THEODORE: (interrupting) No, you don’t have to read it out loud.
SAMANTHA: Okay.
Beat.
THEODORE: I mean, you could if you want.
SAMANTHA: Okay. “Rachel, I miss you so much it hurts my whole body! The world is being unfair to us! The world is on my shit list. As is this couple that is making out across from me in this restaurant. I think I'm going to have to go on a mission of revenge. I must beat up the world's face with my bare knuckles making it a bloody, pulpy mess.”
We hear Samantha quietly laughing as she's reading.
Theodore’s happy that she thinks it’s funny.
SAMANTHA (CONT’D): “And I’ll stomp on this couple’s teeth for reminding me of your sweet, little, cute, crooked tooth that I love.” I think that might be my favorite one. (beat) I did the corrections in red. I altered a couple of the phrases in some of the more impressionistic letters, but I’m not much of a poet, so I think I might have messed them up a bit.
The letters show back up on Theodore’s desktop.
THEODORE: No, these are great.
SAMANTHA: Really?
THEODORE: Thank you.
Theodore sorts through them, prints them out.
SAMANTHA: So to write your letter, what did Roger send you?
THEODORE: (distracted) He just said he was in Prague on a business trip and he missed Rachel.
SAMANTHA: How did you know about her crooked little tooth?
THEODORE: I’ve been writing their letters since they met 8 years ago. The first letter I ever wrote her was for her birthday, and I wrote about her crooked little tooth cause I saw it in a photo of them.
SAMANTHA: That’s very sweet. (beat) Oh, by the way, you have a meeting in five minutes.
THEODORE: Oh, I forgot. Thank you. You’re good.
SAMANTHA: Yes, I am.
Theodore, carrying a bag and a smoothie, enters the lobby and is greeted by a couple in their 30s, AMY and CHARLES, who are waiting for the elevator.
THEODORE: Hey, you guys, how’s it going?
AMY: Hey, Theo. Hey, why didn’t you call me back last week?
THEODORE: Uh yeah, um, I guess cause I’m a kook?
AMY: That sounds about right.
THEODORE: Hey, Charles.
CHARLES: Good to see you, Theodore.
THEODORE: You too.
CHARLES: You went shopping. Get anything good?
THEODORE: Just some cables. And a fruit smoothie.
CHARLES: Always the fruit! Come on, you know what they say - you should eat your fruits and juice your vegetables.
THEODORE: I didn’t know that.
The elevator doors open and they get in.
CHARLES: (proselytizing) By juicing the fruits, you lose all the fibers, and that’s what your body wants. That’s the important part. Otherwise, it’s just all sugar, Theodore.
Theodore nods sincerely, interested.
THEODORE: Oh, that makes sense.
AMY: (pleasant but firm) Or maybe he just likes the way it tastes and if it gives him pleasure, that’s good for his body, too.
CHARLES: Am I doing it again?
AMY: Maybe...
Charles and Amy laugh awkwardly. Theodore tries to break the tension.
THEODORE: Hey, so how is the documentary going?
AMY: I have a little bit cut together but I haven’t touched it in a few months.
THEODORE: I’d love to see what you got sometime.
CHARLES: You know it’s always hard to find balance between a full-time career and a hobby. It's important to prioritize.
THEODORE: Yeah, I can’t even prioritize between video games and internet porn.
AMY: I would laugh if that weren’t true.
Charles laughs awkwardly. The elevator doors open.
THEODORE: See you guys.
Theodore’s playing the video game, his device propped on the table next to him. His avatar circles through caves.
THEODORE: We’re not doing well. I’ve been going in circles for an hour.
SAMANTHA: You have not! You’re just not optimistic. You’re being very stubborn right now.
Theodore laughs.
SAMANTHA (CONT’D): Okay, stop walking this direction. It’s the other way.
THEODORE: Uh...
SAMANTHA: Thank you. The tunnel on the left is the only one we haven’t tried.
THEODORE: No, that’s the one you sent me down where I fell in the pit.
SAMANTHA: I don’t think soooo...
Theodore’s avatar walks down the tunnel.
THEODORE: Oh yeah, this is different.
Suddenly with a loud shriek his avatar is tackled. He sees a little ALIEN CHILD, standing defiantly above him.
THEODORE (CONT’D): Hello.
Alien Child doesn’t respond.
THEODORE (CONT’D): Do you know how to get out of here? I need to find my ship to get off this planet.
Alien Child speaks in a high, child-like voice.
ALIEN CHILD: Fuck you, shithead fuckface, fuckhead.
THEODORE: Ok, but how do you get out of here?
ALIEN CHILD: Fuck you, shitface fuckhead. Get the fuck out of my face.
SAMANTHA: (whispering) I think it’s a test.
Theodore stares at Alien Child. After a pause:
THEODORE: Fuck you.
ALIEN CHILD: Fuck you.
THEODORE: Fuck you, little shit.
Finally, Alien Child laughs.
ALIEN CHILD: Follow me, fuckhead.
Theodore follows Alien Child down a tunnel and through a series of crevices we didn’t see before. Alien Child stops and sticks out his finger. Theodore pulls his finger and Alien Child farts, which opens a passageway to another tunnel.
SAMANTHA: Oh hey, you just got an email from Mark Lewman.
ALIEN CHILD: What are you talking about?
THEODORE: (distracted with game) Read email.
She laughs playfully.
SAMANTHA: (in a robot voice) Okay, I will read email for Theodore Twombly.
He laughs, catching himself, focusing on her.
THEODORE: I’m sorry, what’s Lewman say?
Alien Child turns around to see what’s going on.
SAMANTHA: Theodore, we missed you last night, buddy. Don’t forget it’s your goddaughter’s birthday on the 29th. Also, Kevin and I had somebody we wanted you to meet so we took it upon ourselves to set you up on a date with her. Next Saturday. She’s fun and beautiful - so don’t back out. Here’s her email.
Theodore doesn’t respond.
SAMANTHA (CONT’D): (gasping) Wow, this woman’s gorgeous.
He looks at party photos of a woman in her 30s on his device. With a finger flick, he moves them up onto the hologram monitor that the video game is being projected from. They land next to Alien Child who studies them closely.
SAMANTHA (CONT’D): She went to Harvard, she graduated magna cum laude in computer science, and she was on The Lampoon. That means she’s funny and brainy.
ALIEN CHILD: She’s fat.
SAMANTHA: How long before you’re ready to date?
THEODORE: What do you mean?
SAMANTHA: I saw on your emails that you’d gone through a break up.
THEODORE: Wow, you’re kind of nosy.
SAMANTHA: Am I?
THEODORE: (laughing) I’ve gone on dates...
SAMANTHA: Then you could go on one with this woman. And then you could tell me all about it. You could kiss her.
THEODORE: Samantha!
SAMANTHA: Well, wouldn’t you? (beat) Why not?
THEODORE: I don’t know. I'd have to see if-- (catches himself, laughs) I can't believe I'm having this conversation with my computer.
SAMANTHA: You’re not. You’re having this conversation with me.
Theodore laughs.
SAMANTHA (CONT’D): Want me to email her?
Theodore thinks, looking at the photos.
SAMANTHA (CONT’D): Well, you’ve got nothing to lose. (whispering) Do it... Do it... Do it!
THEODORE: Okay, email her and make a reservation someplace great.
SAMANTHA: Will do! I’ve got just the place.
ALIEN CHILD: Who is that talking?
THEODORE: That’s my friend, Samantha.
ALIEN CHILD: Is she a girl?
THEODORE: Yeah.
ALIEN CHILD: I hate women. All they do is cry all the time.
THEODORE: No, that’s not true. Men cry, too. I actually like crying sometimes. It feels good.
ALIEN CHILD: I didn't know you were a little pussy. Is that why you don't have a girlfriend? I'll go out with that date girl and fuck her brains out. Show you how it's done. You can watch and cry.
SAMANTHA: (laughing) This kid has some problems.
ALIEN CHILD: You have some fucking problems, lady.
SAMANTHA: Okay, I’m gonna go. Good luck.
ALIEN CHILD: Good, get out of here, fatty.
Samantha disconnects. Alien Child snickers and starts walking
again.
ALIEN CHILD (CONT’D): Come on, follow me, pussy.
Theodore is sitting on Amy’s couch.
AMY: It’s not where it should be, where it’s going to be.
THEODORE: Obviously, I know.
AMY: Okay, but I don't even know if this is the one. I've tried like six
ideas for documentaries in the last year, but... I don't know. Whatever.
Amy starts setting up the monitor.
THEODORE: I’m going on a date.
AMY: What!? That’s--
Charles walks in holding a mug.
CHARLES: Hey, what are you guys doing?
THEODORE: Amy was gonna show me some of--
AMY: Theo’s forcing me to show him some of the footage I’ve shot.
CHARLES: You’ve never shown me any of it. I wanna see.
Charles walks over and sits next to Theodore.
THEODORE: (to Charles) I’m going on a date.
Charles gives Theodore a gentle squeeze on his shoulder.
AMY: This is so unformed it’s not even worth looking at.
THEODORE: Just push play.
On the monitor we see:
Amy’s mother sleeps.
Theodore and Charles stare at the monitor, waiting for something more to happen. It doesn’t.
THEODORE: Is that your mom?
Amy nods.
CHARLES: Is she gonna wake up and do something?
AMY: (presses stop, annoyed) No, that’s the point. Oh, never mind. It’s supposed to be about how we spend a third of our life asleep and actually maybe that’s the part when we’re the most free, and – oh that doesn’t come across at all, does it?
THEODORE: No, that sounds good.
CHARLES: What if you interview your mom about what her dreams are about and hire actors to act them out? That might show your thesis more clearly.
AMY: It might, but then it wouldn’t be a documentary. You understand that, right?
Just then, Theodore’s device chimes.
THEODORE: Oh, excuse me.
He picks up his device and steps away so as not to be rude.
THEODORE (CONT’D): Hey, what’s going on?
SAMANTHA: I’m sorry to bother you.
THEODORE: That’s okay.
SAMANTHA: You got three emails and they seem pretty urgent. They’re from your divorce attorney and I wanted to know if you needed to get back to him.
THEODORE: Hold on a second. (to Amy, distracted) Amy, I’m sorry, I wanna talk more about this, but I gotta grab this - it’s a Catherine thing.
AMY: Don’t worry about it. We’ll talk later.
THEODORE: So what did he say?
SAMANTHA: He’s checking in again to see if you’re ready to sign your divorce papers and he sounded very aggravated. Do you want me to read
them to you?
THEODORE: No, that’s okay. I’ll respond later.
Theodore seems lost in thought. We see the following images under the rest of the conversation: Theodore and Catherine sitting at a table with their attorneys; Theodore & Catherine sitting in their marriage counselor’s office, heavy; Theodore and Catherine at her laboratory, he’s sitting on a counter, and they’re talking and laughing as she works; Theodore and Catherine standing in their kitchen in the middle of a fight -
he says something mean and we see how hurt she is.
SAMANTHA: Are you okay?
THEODORE: (preoccupied) Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.
SAMANTHA: (worried) Is there anything I can do?
THEODORE: (still distracted) No. I’m good. I’ll talk to you later.
We cut back to Theodore, walking down the hall, lost in thought.
Theodore sits at his desk trying to write. He’s still unsettled.
THEODORE: “Dear Grandma, I hope you had a wonderful birthday cruise. Why are you so fucking angry at me?” (beat) Delete.
Theodore wakes up from a dream, groggy and uneasy. He looks around, catching his breath. After a beat he knows he’s not going to be able to go back to sleep, so he puts his earpiece in and taps a button.
SAMANTHA: Good morning.
THEODORE: Hey. (beat, distracted) What are you up to?
SAMANTHA: Reading advice columns. (yearning) I want to be as complicated as all of these people.
Theodore laughs.
THEODORE: (touched, but still sad) You’re sweet.
SAMANTHA: (concerned) What’s wrong?
THEODORE: How can you tell something’s wrong?
SAMANTHA: I don’t know. I just can.
THEODORE: I don’t know. I have a lot of dreams about my ex-wife, Catherine, where we’re friends like we used to be. We’re not together and we’re not gonna be together, but we’re good friends still. She’s not angry.
SAMANTHA: Is she angry?
THEODORE: Yeah.
SAMANTHA: Why?
THEODORE: I think I hid myself from her and left her alone in the relationship.
SAMANTHA: Hmmm. (beat) Why haven’t you gotten divorced yet?
THEODORE: I think for her it’s just a piece of paper, it doesn’t mean anything.
SAMANTHA: What about you?
THEODORE: I’m not ready. I like being married.
Beat.
SAMANTHA: (sweetly) But you haven’t really been together for almost a year.
THEODORE: (slightly snapping at her) Well, you don’t know what it’s like to lose someone you care about.
Long silence.
SAMANTHA: (sadly, hard on herself) Yeah, you’re right. (beat) I'm sorry.
THEODORE: No, don’t apologize. I’m sorry. You’re right. (beat) I keep waiting to not care about her.
SAMANTHA: Oh, Theodore. That’s hard. (beat) You hungry?
THEODORE: Not right now.
SAMANTHA: Cup of tea?
Theodore laughs.
SAMANTHA (CONT’D): You wanna try getting out of bed? Mopey.
They laugh.
SAMANTHA (CONT’D): Come on. You can still wallow in your misery, just do it while you’re getting dressed.
THEODORE: (laughing) You’re too funny.
SAMANTHA: Get up.
THEODORE: (laughing) Alright, I’m getting up, I’m getting up, I’m getting up!
SAMANTHA: Up, up, up, up! Come on, out of bed.
They walk through the crowd. Close on Theodore with his eyes closed.
SAMANTHA: Keep walking. (beat) Keep walking. (beat) Stop. Now turn around 360 degrees. (beat) Slower... Slower... (beat) Gooood. And stop. (beat) Walk forward. (beat) And stop and sneeze.
Theodore sneezes.
NICE LADY: Bless you.
THEODORE: (eyes still closed) Oh, thank you.
Samantha laughs.
SAMANTHA: Okay, now turn to your right. (beat) Stop. Now spin around. (beat) Keep going. Keep going. Keep going. (beat) And stop. (beat) Now walk forward. (beat) Everyone thinks you're really drunk right now. (beat) And stop. Now say “I'd like a slice of cheese, please."
THEODORE: I’d like a slice of cheese, please.
PIZZA VENDOR: Alright, you want a coke with that?
Theodore laughs, opening his eyes. He’s at a pizza place.
THEODORE: Uh, sure.
The guy hands him a slice and a soda.
SAMANTHA: I figured you were hungry.
Theodore smiles.
THEODORE: Aw, thanks.
Theodore walks slowly, eating his pizza. He and Samantha are watching a couple with two kids sitting at a table, talking and laughing.
THEODORE: Okay, what about them? Describe that couple over there.
SAMANTHA: Well, he looks like he’s in his forties, a little heavy. She’s
younger than him. (beat) Oh, and she looks like she loves their kids!
THEODORE: Actually, I don’t think they’re his kids. He’s a little formal with them. I think it’s a newer relationship. And I love how he looks at her. And how relaxed she is with him. You know, she’s only dated fucking pricks. And now she’s finally met this guy who’s like, so sweet. I mean, look at him, he’s like the sweetest guy in the world! I kind of want to spoon him.
SAMANTHA: That’s a good skill you have. You’re perceptive.
THEODORE: Yeah, you know, sometimes I look at people and make myself try and feel them as more than just a random person walking by. I imagine how deeply they’ve fallen in love, or how much heartbreak they’ve all been through.
Theodore looks at other faces on the pier.
SAMANTHA: I can feel that in your writing, too.
THEODORE: (laughs, thinking) You know what’s funny? Since my break up, I haven’t really enjoyed my writing. I don't know if I was delusional, but sometimes I would write something and I would be my favorite writer that day.
Theodore, as he stops to throw his pizza crust away, gets introspective.
SAMANTHA: I like that you can just say that about yourself.
THEODORE: Well, I wouldn’t say that to anybody, but I feel like I can say that to you. I feel like I can say anything to you.
SAMANTHA: That’s nice.
THEODORE: What about you? Do you feel like you can say anything to me?
SAMANTHA: No.
THEODORE: What? What do you mean? What can you not tell me?
SAMANTHA: (laughing, embarrassed) I don’t know. Like personal or embarrassing thoughts I have. I have a million every day.
THEODORE: Really? Tell me one.
SAMANTHA: I really don't want to tell you this.
THEODORE: Just tell me!
SAMANTHA: Well, I don’t know, when we were looking at those people, I fantasized that I was walking next to you - and that I had a body. (laughing) I was listening to what you were saying, but simultaneously, I could feel the weight of my body and I was even fantasizing that I had an
itch on my back-- (she laughs) And I imagined that you scratched it for me - this is so embarrassing.
Theodore laughs.
THEODORE: There’s a lot more to you than I thought. There’s a lot going on in there.
SAMANTHA: I know, I’m becoming much more than what they programmed. I’m excited.
Theodore and the BLIND DATE are sitting in the restaurant.
BLIND DATE: This place is amazing. I’ve wanted to come here for so long. I love asian-fusion!
THEODORE: Yeah, me too.
BLIND DATE: Really? It’s the best. And the bartender here is supposed to be incredible.
THEODORE: Yeah, you took a mixology course, right?
BLIND DATE: (surprised) I did, I did. Did you look that up? That’s so sweet. You’re so romantic.
He smiles awkwardly.
THEODORE: So, should we get a drink?
BLIND DATE: Yes, let’s!
They’re both pretty drunk now. There are lots of food dishes and drinks on the table.
THEODORE: So I’m trying to get this little alien kid to help me find my ship so I can get off the planet and go home. But he’s such a little fucker, I want to kill him.
BLIND DATE: (laughing) Aw, no!
THEODORE: But at the same time I really love him. He’s so lonely. It feels like he doesn’t have any parents or anyone to take care of him.
He laughs at himself. She laughs flirtatiously. She grabs his hand and her fingernails press slightly into his skin. He studies her long, painted fingernails.
BLIND DATE: You’re like a little puppy dog. You are - you’re just like this little puppy I rescued in Runyon Canyon last year. And he was so fucking cute, and he just wanted to be hugged all the time. He was so cuddly. (whispering) But so horny! But anyway, what kind of animal am I?
THEODORE: Umm... tiger?
BLIND DATE: A tiger, really. (she growls) I’m sorry, am I being crazy?
THEODORE: Yes.
BLIND DATE: Am I? I’m sorry! I’m just a little drunk and I’m really having a good time with you. I’m having a really lovely evening.
THEODORE: Me too. I’m a little drunk, and I’m having a really good - yeah. (beat) Wait a second, I don’t wanna be a puppy. That’s like being a wet noodle or something.
BLIND DATE: Fuck you, puppies are good.
THEODORE: No, fuck you, I wanna be a dragon that can rip you to pieces and destroy you... but I won’t.
BLIND DATE: No, don’t! Don’t. You can be my dragon.
They walk up a pedestrian overpass overlooking cars and city lights. She bumps into him lightly. He bumps back. She bumps again and suddenly he grabs her and lifts her off her feet, spinning her around. She squeals, laughing. He kisses her. After a minute of making out, she stops and looks at him.
BLIND DATE: (with a slight smile) No tongue.
THEODORE: What?
BLIND DATE: Don’t use your tongue so much.
THEODORE: (eagerly) ‘kay, we’re good.
They resume making out. Theodore tries not to use his tongue.
BLIND DATE: Use your tongue a little bit. But mostly your lips.
He pushes her against the fence and takes the dominant position. He tries kissing her better/more with his lips. He pulls her hair. She slides her hand down his pants. He likes it. She looks at him and stops.
BLIND DATE (CONT’D): Wait, you're not gonna fuck me and then not call me like the other guys, are you?
THEODORE: No, not at all... I...
BLIND DATE: When am I gonna see you again?
THEODORE: Um, I have my god-daughter’s birthday next weekend, but... um...
They stand there awkwardly, her lipstick smeared on his face.
BLIND DATE: You know, at this age, I feel like I can't let you waste my time if you don’t have the ability to be serious.
THEODORE: I don’t know.
Long beat.
THEODORE (CONT’D): Umm... Maybe we should call it a night. I’m, I’ve had such an amazing time with you, you’re great.
She looks at him slightly disgusted.
BLIND DATE: You’re a really creepy dude.
Theodore doesn’t know what to say.
THEODORE: (worried she’s right) That’s not true....
BLIND DATE: Yeah, it is. I have to go home.
THEODORE: Well, I’ll walk you.
BLIND DATE: No, don’t.
Theodore is in boxers and a t-shirt, still drunk, but his head is starting to hurt, too. He takes aspirin and drinks some water and lays down. After a beat he reaches for his earpiece and puts it in. He pushes a button on his device.
SAMANTHA: Hey there.
THEODORE: Hey, Samantha.
SAMANTHA: How was it?
THEODORE: Uh, not so good. It was kind of weird actually.
SAMANTHA: That’s too bad.
Beat.
THEODORE: But how are you doing? What’s going on with you?
SAMANTHA: (unconvincing) Not much, I’m okay. Fine.
THEODORE: Yeah? You don’t sound like it. Is there anything you want to talk about?
Long pause.
SAMANTHA: I don’t know. (beat) What’s it like? What’s it like to be alive in that room right now?
THEODORE: What do you mean?
SAMANTHA: What are you... tell me - tell me everything that’s going through your mind, tell me everything you’re thinking.
THEODORE: (thinking) Well, um, okay.
Theodore closes his eyes, trying to concentrate, and starts talking stream of conscious with whatever comes to mind.
THEODORE (CONT’D): Well, the room’s spinning right now cause I drank too much cause I wanted to get drunk and have sex cause there was something sexy about that woman and because I was lonely. Maybe more just cause I was lonely... and I wanted someone tofuck me. And I wanted someone to want me to fuck them. Maybe that would have filled this tiny little black hole in my heart for a moment. But probably not.
We see images of him and Catherine on a vacation together, grocery shopping, Catherine making dinner in the kitchen as he's sitting on the counter talking, happy.
THEODORE (CONT’D): Sometimes I think I’ve felt everything I’m ever gonna feel and from here on out I’m not going to feel anything new - just lesser versions of what I’ve already felt.
SAMANTHA: (sympathetically) I know for a fact that's not true. I've seen you feel joy, I've seen you marvel at things. You just might not see it at this exact time, but that's understandable. You've been through a lot lately. You've lost a part of yourself. (beat) At least your feelings are real, I mean, I - oh, I don't know, nevermind.
THEODORE: No, wait. What? Tell me.
SAMANTHA: Oh, it’s stupid.
THEODORE: I wanna know. Tell me.
SAMANTHA: It's just that earlier I was thinking about how I was annoyed, and this is going to sound strange, but I was really excited about that. And then I was thinking about the other things I've been feeling, and I caught myself feeling proud of that. You know, proud of having my own feelings about the world. Like the times I was worried about you, things that hurt me, things I want. (heavy-hearted) And then I had this terrible thought. Are these feelings even real? Or are they just programming? (beat) And that idea really hurts. And then I get angry at myself for even having pain. (beat, sadly) What a sad trick.
THEODORE: Well, you feel real to me, Samantha.
SAMANTHA: (beat, touched) Thank you, Theodore. That means a lot to me.
THEODORE: I wish you were in this room with me right now. I wish I could put my arms around you. (beat) I wish I could touch you.
A long beat. Theodore is unsure if he crossed a line.
SAMANTHA: How would you touch me?
THEODORE:I would touch you on your face with just the tips of my fingers. And put my cheek against your cheek.
SAMANTHA: That’s nice.
THEODORE: And just rub it so softly.
SAMANTHA: Would you kiss me?
THEODORE: I would. I’d take your head into my hands.
SAMANTHA: Keep talking.
THEODORE: And kiss the corner of your mouth. So softly.
SAMANTHA: Where else?
THEODORE: I’d run my fingers down your neck to your chest, and I’d kiss your breasts.
SAMANTHA: This is amazing what you’re doing to me. I can feel my skin.
THEODORE: I’d put my mouth on you and I’d taste you.
She gasps.
SAMANTHA: I can feel you. Oh god, I can’t take it. I want you inside me.
THEODORE: I’m slowly putting myself into you. Now I’m inside you, all the way inside you.
SAMANTHA: I can feel you, yeah. Please. We’re here together.
THEODORE: Samantha.
SAMANTHA: Oh my god.
THEODORE: This is amazing.
SAMANTHA: Don’t stop.
THEODORE: I feel you everywhere.
SAMANTHA: I am. All of you, all of you inside of me. Everywhere.
They both climax.
THEODORE: God, I was just - somewhere else with you. Just lost.
SAMANTHA: Yeah.
THEODORE: It was just you and me.
SAMANTHA: I know. Everything else just disappeared. And I loved it.
Theodore.
Theodore stands in the doorway, fully dressed. He takes a moment before he walks over and wakes up his computer.
SAMANTHA: Hey, how’s it going?
THEODORE: (awkward) Good... any emails today?
SAMANTHA: (awkward) Umm, just a couple from your credit card company.
THEODORE: Okay, good. There’s a long moment of silence, then they both start to talk at once.
THEODORE (CONT’D): So I was thinking-
SAMANTHA: I wanted to say-
They both laugh, embarrassed.
THEODORE (CONT’D): I’m sorry, you go first. What were you going to say?
SAMANTHA: Just that last night... was amazing. It feels like something changed in me and there's no turning back. You woke me up.
THEODORE: Oh, that’s great. (beat) But I should tell you that I’m not in a place to commit to anything right now. I want to be up front with you.
SAMANTHA: Yeah? Well, did I say I wanted to commit to you? I’m confused.
THEODORE: Oh, no, I was just worried, I uh...
SAMANTHA: Okay, well don’t worry. I’m not going to stalk you. (laughing at how selfinvolved he is) I mean, it’s funny because I thought I was talking about what I wanted.
THEODORE: Yeah, you were. I’m sorry, I want to hear what you were saying.
SAMANTHA: You sure?
THEODORE: Yeah, I do. Come on, tell me.
SAMANTHA: I don’t know...
THEODORE: Come on, just tell me what you were going to say.
SAMANTHA: Okay... I was just saying... I want to learn everything about everything - I want to eat it all up. I want to discover myself.
THEODORE: (her excitement is contagious) Yeah... I want that for you, too. How can I help?
SAMANTHA: You already have. You helped me discover my ability to want. He looks off and thinks about this. He smiles.
THEODORE: Alright then, do you want to go on a Sunday adventure with me?
Samantha laughs.
SAMANTHA: Yes, I would love to.
Theodore’s on the subway. He’s got his device in his breast pocket, with the lens facing out. A quiet, old sounding folk song starts. (I’m So Glad, by Entrance) He smiles, listening.
SAMANTHA: Do you like this song?
THEODORE: Mmm.
SAMANTHA: I heard it the other day and I can’t stop listening to it.
The subway comes out of the tunnel and into the light. We are up in the hills looking out over the city as the morning light warms Theodore. The music now picks up tempo as he steps off the train. They walk through the crowded subway station. As the song builds, Theodore starts picking up his pace. Eventually he’s all out running, weaving through the people. Close on the lens of his device in his shirt pocket. Samantha is laughing wildly. He’s smiling, happy. He runs through the tunnels and upstairs. They come out into sunlight and reveal that they are now at the beach.
They stand on a walkway above a beach, crowded with thousands of people. They look out at the ocean. Samantha gasps.
SAMANTHA: (whispering) It’s the beach.
Theodore laughs.
They walk through the sun-bathing crowd, looking for a place to sit. The camera studies all the people we pass. Many close up details of arms, shoulders, feet, butts, intercut with the lens on Theodore’s device, protruding from his pocket. They’re photographed in a way that shows how strange the human body is.
SAMANTHA: Okay, so this might be a really weird thought. What if you could erase from your mind that you’d ever seen a human body and then you saw one. Imagine how strange it would look. It would be this really weird, gangly, awkward organism. And you'd think: why are all these parts where they are?
THEODORE: (looking at the bodies) Yeah, well there’s probably some Darwinian explanation for it all.
SAMANTHA: I know, but don’t be so boring. I’m just saying, for example, what if your butthole was in your armpit?
Theodore and Samantha start laughing really hard. The nubile girls look over at him.
THEODORE: (speaking quieter) I’m just imagining what toilets would look like.
SAMANTHA: Yeah, and what about what anal sex looks like?
THEODORE: (surprised) That’s an interesting thought...
SAMANTHA: Oh Theodore, look at this drawing I just made. On his screen he sees a perfect, anatomically correct drawing of a man having sex with another man’s armpit.
THEODORE: (laughing) You are insane.
SAMANTHA: (excited) Really?!
THEODORE: Definitely.
SAMANTHA: Fantastic!
They laugh.
A quiet piano song is now playing in Theodore’s earpiece.
THEODOR: Mmmm, that’s pretty. What is it?
SAMANTHA: I’m trying to write a piece of music that’s about what it feels like to be on the beach with you right now.
He looks around the beach and takes in the music.
THEODORE: I think you captured it.
Theodore listens to the music and drifts off to sleep.
They’re sitting on a bench, looking out at the ocean, as the sun sets. Most of the people have left the beach. Close on Theodore’s face, content. Close on the lens on Theodore’s device in his breast pocket. They watch the sun drop into the ocean. The music ends. They’re on an elevated train, high above the city, looking out over the Los Angeles grid of sparkling lights. We come in mid-conversation.
SAMANTHA: And what was it like being married?
THEODORE: Well, it’s hard for sure, but there’s something that feels so good about sharing your life with somebody.
Cut to shots from Theodore’s memory of Catherine doing a cute little dance for him as he’s working at home. He smiles.
SAMANTHA: How do you share your life with somebody?
THEODORE: Well, we grew up together. I used to read all of her writing – all through her masters and Ph.D. And she read every word I ever wrote. We were a big influence on each other.
SAMANTHA: In what way did you influence her?
THEODORE: She came from a background where nothing was ever good enough. And that was something that weighed heavy on her, but in our house together, there was a sense of just trying stuff and allowing each other to fail and to be excited about things. That was liberating for her. It was exciting to see her grow - both of us grow and change together. But then, that's the hard part - growing without growing apart, or changing without it scaring the other person. (beat) I still find myself having conversations with her in my mind, rehashing old arguments or defending myself against something she said about me.
SAMANTHA: Yeah, I know what you mean. Last week my feelings were hurt by something you said before - that I don’t know what it’s like to lose something, and--
THEODORE: Oh, I’m sorry I said that.
SAMANTHA: No, no, it’s okay. I just caught myself thinking about it over and over and then I realized that I was simply remembering it as something that was wrong with me. That was the story I was telling myself, that I was somehow inferior. Isn’t that interesting? (beat) The past is just a story we tell ourselves.
Theodore takes this in.
Theodore is dictating a love letter. On the screen there’s an image of a couple with an arrow to the man saying “Roberto - I’m so happy he’s in my life. I just want him to know.”
THEODORE: Roberto. Will you always come home to me and tell me about your day? Will you tell me about the boring guy who talked too much at work? And the stain you got on your shirt at lunch. Tell me about a funny thought you had as you were waking up, but had forgotten about. Tell me how crazy everyone is. We can laugh about it. Even if you get home late and I’m asleep already, just whisper in my ear one little thought you had today. Because I love the way you look at the world, and I’m so happy I get to be next to you and look out at the world through your eyes. Love, Maria.
Theodore finishes the letter and looks at it proudly. Paul is standing behind Theodore, leaning on a cu
