爱华网笑话能反映出一个民族的价值系统及其对周围世界肯定和否定的态度。下面是小编带来的经典爆笑英语笑话大全，欢迎阅读!
经典爆笑英语笑话大全篇一
Mr.and Mrs.Jones seldom go out in the evening.But last Satur-day, Mrs. Jones want to go to the cinema.
琼斯夫妇晚上很少出去。可上星期六，琼斯太太想去看电影。
A:There is a good film at the cinema tonight. Shall we go and see it?
今晚电影院有场好电影，我们去看吗?
(Mr. Jones was quite happy about it. So they went and both of them en-joyed the film very much!When they came out of the cinema, it was al-ready 11 o'clock. They got into their car and began driving home. It was quite dark.
琼斯先生对此感到非常高兴。于是他们便去了，他俩儿都喜爱这部影片。当他们从电影院出来时已经11点钟了。他们赶紧上了车，开始朝家开去，天色很黑。)
A:Look，Bill. A woman is running along the road very fast, and a man is running after her. Can you see them?
快看，比尔!有个女人正沿着公路飞快地奔跑，后面还有一个男人在追她，你看见了吗?
B:Yes, I can.(Driving the car slowly near the woman)Can I help you?
是的，我看见了。(把车慢慢地开到女人身旁)我能帮助你吗?
C:No, thanks. My husband and I always run home after the film because whoever gets home late will wash the dishes.
不，谢谢。我和我丈夫每次看完电影之后总是跑着回家，因为谁最后到家，谁就要洗盘子。
经典爆笑英语笑话大全篇二
A:I had much trouble with my son Dick.
我现在管不了我儿子迪克了。
B:You should not worry about that in the least for I had trouble withmy daugllter too.
你用不着担心，我也经常与我女儿发生矛盾。
A:I suppose Dick's like me that way too I believe.
我想，迪克随我。
B:That's not bad.
那并不是件坏事呀!
A:That's just too bad.I told him time and again not to do wh atI did but to do what I told him to do.but that didn't seem to work at all.
问题就坏在这里了。我三番五次地告诉他，不要照我做的去做，而要照我说的去做。可似乎根本没有用。
B:Look here,Bill,suppose you just tell me what's happened and I'Il try to work things out for you.
比尔，看着我，究竟发生了什么，你快告诉我。我将帮你理出个头绪来。
A:Well,I sort of told Dick not to go to see striptease ladies, for he could see tllings he actuallV shouldn't and what do you think he did?
我，呃，呃……告诉他不要去看脱衣舞女郎，因为他可能会看到不该看的东西，你知道他怎么了?
B:What?
怎么?
A:Believe it or not. that was exactly what he did,and do you know what he saw there7
信不信由你，他恰恰那么做了，你猜他看到了什么?
B:Er,well,I am not much of an expert but I can guess what the boy...
呃，这个方面我不是专家，不过我猜想那孩子……
A:That's it.You've guessed it right. He saw me there.
没错，你猜对了，他看见我在那儿。
经典爆笑英语笑话大全篇三
On a special Teacher's Day,a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. First, the florist's son handed her a gift.
在教师节里，一位幼儿园教师正在接受孩子们送给她的礼物，首先花匠的儿子递上他的礼物。
A:I bet I know what it is...some flowers.
我敢打赌我知道里面是什么……是一些花。
B:That is right, but how did you know?
是的，可是你是怎么知道的呢?
A:Just a wild guess.
瞎猜的。
(The second pupil is the candy store owner's daughter.The teacher hands her gift over head.
第二个学生是糖果店老板的女儿。老师把她送的礼物举起来。)
A:I bet I can guess what it is...a box of candy.
我敢打赌我知道里面是什么，是一盒糖果。
C:That's right. But how did you know?
对了，但你怎么知道的?
A:Just a lucky guess.
碰巧猜出来的。
(The third gift is from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher holds it over head but it is leaking. She touches a drop of the leakage with her finger and tastes it.
第三份礼物来自于酒店老板的儿子，老师把它举起来，但有液体漏了出来，她用手蘸了一滴漏出来的液体，尝了一下味道。)
A:Is it wine?
是果酒吗?
D:No.
不是。
(The teacher repeated the process touching another drop of leakage to her tongue.
老师又用舌头尝了一滴漏出来的东西。)
A:Is it champagne?
是香槟吗?
D:No.
不是。
A:Now, I give up. What is it?
好吧，我猜不着了，里面到底是什么呢?
D:A puppy.
是一只小狗。
