爱华网英语短文故事
短文一：
An old man lived alone in Northern Ireland. His only son was in
prison. The old man wanted to plant some potatoes in his garden but he didn't know anyone who would help him plow up the garden.
He wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, "For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!"
At 4 AM the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns.
Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.
His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."
短文二:
One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do."
The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn't do?"
The little girl replied, "My homework."
短文三：
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den(私室，贼窝) . What is the big brass gong(锣) and hammer for? one of his friends asked. That is the talking clock, the man replied. How's it work?
Watch, the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!
短文四：
On her return from school，little Dolly，aged ten，was pulled on to her Daddy's knee，and informed that the fairies had that day brought a big surprise a little baby brother.She see med glad，and presently said：
“Will you give me a stamp，daddy?I want to write and tell brother Tom.”
The father was touched by this，and provided the little lass with the materials to write a letter to her brother，who was away at school.Later，curious to know how she would tell the news，he took an opportunity to read what she had writen.He received something of a shock on reading the following：
“Dear Tom， It's come off today.You've lost;it's a boy.”
短文五：
Mr.and Mrs.Taylor had a seven year old boy named Pat.Now Mrs.Taylor was expecting another child.
Pat had seen babies in other people's houses and had not liked them very much，so he was not delighted about the news that there was soon going to be one in his house too.
One evening Mr.and Mrs.Taylor were making plans for the baby's arrival.“This house won't be big enough for us all when the baby comes，”said Mr.Taylor.
Pat came into the room just then and said，“What are you talking about?”“We were saying that we'll have to move to an other house now，because the new baby's coming，”his mother answered.
“ It's no use，”said Pat hopelessly.“ He'll follow us there.”
短文一翻译：
一个老人独居在北爱尔兰，他的独生子正在坐牢。老人想在花园里种些土豆，但不知道谁可以帮忙把泥土翻松。他写信想儿子提及此事，儿子回信说道：“看在上帝的面上，千万不要翻松花园的泥土，我把枪埋在那儿了。”
第二天凌晨4点，一队英国士兵出现在老人家中，在花园把土地翻遍，但并没有找到任何枪支。”
老人写信告诉儿子这件奇怪的事情，问到底发生了什么事情，下一步应该怎么做。
儿子回信道：“你只管种土豆好了。”
短文二翻译：
一天，小女孩从学校回到家里，对妈妈说：“妈妈，今天在学校里我因为一件我没有做的事情而受到惩罚。”
妈妈激动地说：“那真是太可怕了!我要跟你的老师好好谈一谈，对了，你没有做过的那件事是什么?”
小女孩回答说：“我的家庭作业。”
短文三翻译：
一个学生带他朋友们参观他的新公寓，甚是得意。那个大铜锣和锤子是干什么用的?他的一个朋友问他。那玩意儿厉害了，那是一个会说话的钟，学生回答。这钟怎么工作的，他的朋友问。看着，别眨眼了，那学生走上前一把操起铜锣和锤子，拼命地敲了一下，声音震耳欲聋。突然，他们听到隔壁墙那边有人狂叫，别敲了，你这白痴!现在是凌晨两点钟了!。”
短文四翻译：
放学回到家里，十岁的小多莉被拉过来坐在她爸爸的膝上，她被告知那天仙女们带来了一个大大的惊奇——一个婴儿小弟弟。她似乎很高兴，马上说：
“爸爸，你能不能给我一张邮票?我要写信告诉汤姆哥哥。”
父亲被这话感动了，他为小姑娘提供了给她哥哥写信所需的各种用具，她的哥哥住在学校里。后来，想知道她是怎么报告这个消息的，他找机会读了她写的信。在读到下面这两行字时，他差点儿惊呆了：
“亲爱的汤姆：今天结果出来了，你输了;是个男孩。”
短文五翻译：
泰勒夫妇有一个七岁的男孩，名叫帕特。现在泰勒太太正怀着第二胎。
帕特在别人家看见过婴儿，他不太喜欢他们，所以他对自己家里也将有一个婴儿的消息感到不满。
一天晚上，泰勒夫妇正在为这个婴儿的降生计划做安排。泰勒先生说：“有了婴儿，我们的房子就太小，不够住了。”
帕特恰好在这个时候走进屋，他问：“你们在说什么?”他的母亲回答说：“我们在说我们现在得搬家，因为婴儿就要诞生了。”
“那没用，”帕特绝望地说。“他会跟我们到那儿去的。”
