爱华网说实话，我很难相信这三封邮件的真实性，因为，以他们三人的学历，智商，社会阅历等，他们应该炮制出更有水平的作品来。看着蹩脚的中国式英语，中国式的质问口气和辩解逻辑，我止不住想来点评一下。
我想我有资格发言，因为一，我也是从美国回来的海归；二，我也有一双儿女，而且与他们的儿女年龄接近；三，我与他们的年龄社会阅历相仿；四，我是局外人。
我想先说说“受害人”Lily。首先，我根本不认同你是受害人。你都已经为你的丈夫生了两个孩子，但还留不住他的心。你是否该检讨一下，作为一个妻子，你欠缺什么？这样思考会使你的仇恨减轻。
其次，如果我是你，我不会写那份邮件，还抄送给别人。其实，你们三个人的邮件都是写给公众看的，在互相诋毁、诽谤。相比之下，你的邮件显得最冲动，不但逻辑不强，而且情绪象过山车，一会儿充当怨妇，一会儿充当泼妇，最后还似乎高风亮节地充当了一把贤妇。你这样做也许会暂时性地毁了你丈夫的前途以及他和小三的幸福，但是对你和你的孩子们有什么益处呢？时间过后，别人会逐渐淡忘此事，但是你扩大加深的这个伤疤会永远刻在你自己和你的孩子们的心上。
有时无声胜有声。你若沉默，带着你的孩子们快乐地生活，那就是对他们最大的惩罚。你恨Diane，但她能得到什么？一个对孩子都不负责任的男人，会给她幸福吗？等到Yale六十岁的时候，她能陪他谈论你们的儿女吗？得不到亲生儿女的尊敬和亲近将是对他这一生最大的惩罚。而你如果能做到尽职，做一个让你的儿女尊敬的母亲，最后的唯一赢家就是你。你现在情绪激动，还在孩子面前诋毁他们的爸爸和诅咒他的未来，现在受到最大伤害的是你的孩子啊。八九岁的孩子虽然懂事，但是还不能全面地理解事情。你这样先入为主地让他们与你一起感受你们的婚姻的失败，让孩子们先学会憎恨，这实在很不明智也真蠢。
最后，你问问你自己，你还爱你的丈夫吗？如果你爱他，你就不会这样“鱼死网破”地让他无路可走，无颜见人。如果你不爱他，那他的离开就是好事。你只需要维护好自己的权益，保证自己的孩子们未来的生活有保障，然后负责抚养自己的孩子们直到他们成人。说实话，你的老公真的不是东西。他讲到你们的关系在八年前就已经开始破裂。八年前你的一双儿女有多大？一两岁还是有一个还没出生？如此言论的男人已经“走火入魔”，你就应该放他出去引火自焚嘛。如果他还是一个合格理智的父亲，他早该想到他的这番言论对孩子们造成的伤害是什么。难道他想让孩子们认识到他们的到来只是意外的生殖器官的一时冲动？而他才是这个家庭的最大受害者？
放手吧，Lily，让孩子们继续爱他们的父亲，但你已经不需要这个男人了。把两个孩子抚养长大，呵护他们的心灵健康，做一个坚强自信乐观积极的母亲吧。
Diane，我看到你振振有词的邮件，真的感觉很可笑。不管你怎样辩解，你反驳不了自己是第三者这个不争的事实。在一个男人还没有结束他的婚姻，而且他还有一对年幼的儿女的时候，你就涉足进来，大方地占据，大方地宣扬你和你的有妇之夫老板的纯真爱情，我想只有你自己相信你的所谓爱情吧？你懂得男人是如何成长起来的吗？不管Yale如何地宣称他们夫妻早已经名存实亡，但是你今天爱着的Yale是人家Lily培育出来的。你骂Lily是让自己的老公夺命而逃的罪魁祸首，你有把握那个连自己的孩子们的感受都不顾的男人会守你超过和Lily吗？你可知道如果他们现在还生活在美国，他们可能还在过简单的柴米油盐、节假日带着孩子们出去游玩的普通日子。你爱着的这个男人在美国的时候，可能就是个只有他的老婆愿意多看一眼的男人。他的所谓光环无非是十几亿普通贫穷的中国老百姓衬托出来的。你有没有想过你霸占了一个男人的同时，你害得这世上多了两个单亲孩子。人总不能只为了自己的舒坦而活着吧。
Diane，你真的没资格点评别人的婚姻，尤其是你插足的婚姻。你既没亲眼看到，也没亲身体会过有着两个共同孩子的夫妻之间永远难以割舍的情感和纽带。你做好当一个后妈的准备了吗？在你的邮件中无处不流露出你的自视清高和目中无人。请从你的得胜宝座快下来吧，否则会跌得很惨。
对于Yale，我真的无话可说。如果见不到你的两段话邮件，我可能还有想象的空间，为你去找辩解的理由，或者可以解释你被两个女人“玩弄”了。但是你的邮件真的写得很“衰”。你不但逃避了一个做父亲的责任，还出卖了自己的好朋友，就象一个理亏的、犯了事又不敢承担责任的懦夫或者一个小孩在说：“我不想干，但是我的朋友们都劝我别太委屈。”短短的两段话，你将所有的责任推得一干二净。我在想，你这样的胸怀也能做老板吗？或者你只是象“天下女人”节目中常说的“一有事，男人就褪脆弱”？
真的，三个人请都别再写污染世人眼睛的邮件了，尤其是用英语。不管怎么样，咱们中国人的事窝里抖搂，别再外扬了。祝你们向前看。
附件：三封邮件
DearLily,
I understand that you are going through a difficult time in yourpersonal life, and I sincerely hope that you will find
a way to deal with it that is the best for you and yourchildren.
I do understand how you feel. I also understand,however, that a marriage can only break apart from theinside. I do
not appreciate your attempt to smear my reputation and paint me asthe home wrecker. You know as well as Yaledoes
that your marriage fell apart long before Yale and I evenmet. Whether or not I am in Yale's life hasnothing todo
with the eventual outcome of your marriage. I amsure you understand this as well, but you nonetheless sought toburn
me on the cross as the scapegoat for your failed marriage, which Ido not believe is a mature thing todo.
Your description of the emotional damage your children havesuffered is disturbing indeed. I cannot help butwondering
what you have been telling them. I would thinkthat a mother's first and foremost priority is to protect herchildren
from any emotional damage, rather than using them as bargainingchips with a spouse or as props to winpublic
sympathy. Yale is the children's father and willalways be. I am sure he will always love them andbe the best father
he can be to them. Wouldn't it make more sense,for the sake of the children's wellbeing, to emphasize to themthat
both their parents will always love them even though one parentwill not be living with them all the time? I donot
see what benefit there could possibly be to teach the children tohate their ownfather.
You asked me how it was like to sleep in Yale'sarms. I also wanted to ask you, Lily, why wouldyou want to hang on to
someone who clearly does not want to be with you atall? Lily, you are intelligent, highly-educatedand you havea
high-paying and well-respected job. So why didyou spend so much time and energy trying to force someone who doesnot
care about you to stay with you? As a fellowwoman I want to ask you this, don't you think you deservebetter?If
there's anything that is worse than sleeping in the arms of anotherwoman's husband, it is sleeping in the armsof
someone who resents you, cannot stand you and wants to run awayfrom you whenever he gets a chance. So Lily, whywould
you want to put yourself in that situation? Onceagain, don't you think you deservebetter?
I sincerely hope that the pain you are currently feeling willsubside soon and you can turn a new leaf in yourlife.
Please remember, you can lose a job, you can lose a spouse, but youshould never lose yourself. And please, donot
vent your negative feelings on your children.They are innocent. Please always keep in mindtheir bestinterests
rather than your own. You deserve true happiness,and I hope that you will find itsoon.
Bestregards,
Diane
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Dear friends,
After 13 years and 2 beautiful children together, Yale and I haveparted
our ways. Yale moved out last week.
Dear Diane/Tao Dan Yang,
Over the past couple of years, you knew everything about my family.You
knew when my kids had their soccer tournaments, you knew when theyhad
their swimming practices. You even knew their baby nicknames. OnDecember
18th, 2009, on a noon flight, I took my children to the U.S. forChristmas
vacation. On the very same day, December 18th, 2009, on anafternoon
flight, you and Yale took off for the beaches of Phuke t andshopping
streets of Bangkok for Christmas vacation. Diane, as a fellowwoman, I
often wondered if the level of ecstasy this vacation had broughtyou
equates to the level of devastation this vacation had brought tomy
children and me. Diane, I often asked myself what was it like foryou to
sleep in the arms of another woman's husband, other children'sfather? I
wondered if you ever thought about us, the children and the wife,that we
are made of flesh and blood, that we have feelings, that we couldget hurt,
very hurt, devastatingly hurt. I pondered if you knew you weredestroying a
family, if you knew your joy would bring endless tears to us.
We went to Beijing last week for Chinese New Year. Your clotheswere in our
Beijing home. My son screamed:" Mommy, don't touch those, theyare
disgusting! Set them on fire, burn them to hell. They are thedevil's
cloth!" My children are hurt. My daughter, 9 years old, now says"Mommy, I
don't ever want to get married." My s on, 8 years old, says "Dianeis our
Voldemort!" The psychological damage this affair has done to mychildren is
catastrophic. They are forever emotionally damaged. With this, Iannounce
you the winner.
How do I feel, Diane? This affair is like 10 thousand knivesstabbing and
chopping my heart all at once. This affair has left me in so muchpain that
I don't know how to heal myself. This affair has taught me tearsupply can
actually be infinite. This affair has crushed me, leaving me acorpse
walking around with no heart. I don't know how to deal with thiskind of
pain. I don't know how to move on. But I have children. I must moveon.
Diane, I pray to God that you will never have to experience thiskind of
betrayal and hurt. I wish you and Yale a happy life togetherbecause, after
all, we are all women and we all deserve to be happy.
With sincere regards,
Lily
-------------------------------------------------------------
Lily,
Please do not b ring the personal issues to the public. Thetruth of the
facts is that our marriage had been falling apart 8 years ago,divorce had
been in discussion 5 years ago. Our issues are known to all thepeople in
the word! Diane had done nothing wrong for her part! I am firmlystanding
by and behind Diane. I will certainly hope she will marry me oneday soon!
Trying to tell the people how evil I am and Diane is in this wayis not
going to succeed! All the people, who knows you, me and ourmarriage,
supported my divorce, including my good friend Zhu Wei. I am sorryI have
dragged everyone into this. Lily please move on!
Sincerely yours
Yale
