中校在飞机上发表的关于女人的经典论述
Unknown:
Jack Daniels. You bet.
And Diet Slice.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
The old Diet Slice.
Unknown:
And a water.
Thank you, Daphne. Certainly, sir.
Charlie Simms:
Mmm! How did you know her name?
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Well, she's wearin' Floris.
Unknown:
That's an English cologne.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
But her voice is California chickie.
Now, California chickie bucking for Englishlady.
I call her Daphne.
Oh, big things may happen to that little thing ofyours.
Charlie Simms:
Look, Colonel,
I'll get you to New York, all right?Uh-huh.
Then I'm gonna have to turn around and comeback.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Well, Chuck, you gotta do what you gottado.
Charlie Simms:
Charlie, all right?
Or Charles.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Sorry. I can't blame you, though.
Chuck is a...
Charlie Simms:
So, why are we going to New York?
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
All information will be given on a need-to-knowbasis.
Hoo-ah!
Where's Daphne? Let's get her downhere.
Charlie Simms:
She's in the back.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
A tail's in the tail.
Hah!
Oh, but I still smell her.
Women.
What can you say?
Who made 'em?
God must have been a fucking genius,
The hair...they say the hair is everything, youknown.
Have you ever buried your nose in a mountain ofcurls, and just wanted togo to sleep forever?
Or lips...and when they touched, yours were likethat first swallow of wine...after you just crossed thedesert.
Tits! Big ones, little ones, who-ah, nipplesstaring right out at you, like secret searchlights.
And legs...I don't care if they're Greekcolumns...or secondhand steinways.
What's between them, passport toheaven.
I need a drink.
Yes, Mr.Simms,
There's only two syllables in this whole wideworld worth hearing: pussy.
Are you listening to me, son? I'm giving youpearls here.
I guess you really like women,
Oh, above all things!
A very, very distant second is aFerrari.
Charlie? Give me your hand.
This is just the start of your education,son.
中校在BairdSchool博德学校为查理作辩护:
Unknown:
George. George!
Mr. Trask:
I called an open meeting of this institution thismorning
because the incident that occurred this Tuesdaylast
describes an issue that concerns all ofus.
Not an isolated case of vandalism.
What happened
is a symptom of the sickness of asociety.
Mr. Trask:
A school among whose graduates
two have sat behind the desk in the Oval Office,in the White House.
Baird men have run State Departments andinvestment houses,
founded department stores and coached footballteams.
Our alumni receive their bulletins in ashrams inIndia
and in palaces in Jordan.
We are, in fact, known around the world
as the cradle of this country'sleadership.
Unknown:
A beacon in the... What are you doinghere?
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Got room for me up there, Charlie?
Mr. Trask:
But today we are bleeding fromdisrespect.
Charlie Simms:
Yeah, I guess so.
Unknown:
Blatant disrespect. Give us a hand.
Mr. Trask:
A disrespect for our values,
and a disrespect for our standards.
A disrespect for the Baird tradition.
And, as the custodians of thattradition,
we are here today to protect each other
from those who threaten it.
Who is this, Mr. Simms?
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
This is Mr. Frank Slade,
Lieutenant Colonel, United States Army,retired.
I'm here in place of Charlie's parents.
Mr. Trask:
Excuse me?
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
In loco parentis.
They could not make the trip from Oregontoday.
Mr. Trask:
And what is your relationship to Mr.Simms?
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Is this a courtroom?
Mr. Trask:
Closest thing we could manage to it.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Then if we're taking oaths, there's a few peopleI'd like to swear in.
Mr. Trask:
There are no oaths at Baird.
We are all on our honor.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Larry and Franny Simms
are very dear, close friends of mine.
They've asked me to appear here on Charlie'sbehalf.
Okay?
Mr. Trask:
Happy to have you with us, Colonel.
Mr. Trask:
Mr. Willis.
Willis Senior:
Which Mr. Willis?
Mr. Trask:
George, Junior, sir.
George Willis, Jr.:
Yes.
Mr. Trask:
You were in a position last Tuesdaynight
to see who committed this act of vandalism. Whowas it?
George Willis, Jr.:
Well, I have an idea who it was.
Mr. Trask:
No, []not an idea, Mr. Willis.
Did you see or did you not see?
George Willis, Jr.:
Well...
I didn't have my contacts in.
Unknown:
Come on.
George Willis, Jr.:
I was in the library. I'd taken my glassesoff,
and I was gonna put my contacts backin.
Then I helped Simms close up
and the next thing I know, we'reoutside,
and I hear this sound and I
didn't have any time to put my contactsin.
Mr. Trask:
Whom, with your limited vision, did yousee?
George Willis, Jr.:
Like I say, it was blurry.
I can't see without my contacts.
Mr. Trask:
What did you see, Mr. Willis?
George Willis, Jr.:
What?
You mean definitively?
Mr. Trask:
Stop fencing with me, Mr. Willis!
Tell me what you saw!
George Willis, Jr.:
Now, don't hold me to this, but no contacts, it'sdark...
andeverything, I mean
Mr. Trask:
Mr.Willis!
Maybe Harry Havemeyer, Trent Potter and JimmyJameson.
Mr. Trask:
Maybe?
George Willis, Jr.:
Ballpark, best guess.
Mr. Trask:
Could you provide us with some detail?
George Willis, Jr.:
Imean, why don't you ask Charlie?
Ireally think he was closer.
Mr. Trask:
Mr.Simms.
Charlie Simms:
Yes.
Mr. Trask:
Youdon't wear contact lenses, do you?
Charlie Simms:
No,sir.
Mr. Trask:
Withyour untrammeled sight, whom did you see?
Well, I saw, I saw something,
butI couldn't say who.
Mr. Trask:
Allright. What was the something you saw?
- I couldn't say.
Mr. Trask:
Youcouldn't say or you wouldn't say?
Charlie Simms:
Well, I just, I justcouldn't say.
Mr. Trask:
Couldn't, wouldn't, shouldn't.
You're exhausting my patience
andmaking a mockery of these proceedings.
Iwill give you one last chance.
Theconsequences of your response will be dire.
Bydire I mean your future will be jeopardized permanently.
Nowfor the last time,
whatdid you see last Tuesday night outside my office?
Charlie Simms:
Isaw somebody.
Mr. Trask:
"lsaw somebody." Good.
Mr. Trask:
Didyou see their size and shape?
Charlie Simms:
Yeah.
Mr. Trask:
Andthey were the size and shape of whom?
Charlie Simms:
Theywere the size and shape of most any Baird student, sir.
Mr. Trask:
I amleft with no real witness.
Mr. Trask:
Mr. Willis' testimony is not only vague, it isunsubstantiated.
The substance I was looking for, Mr.Simms,
was to come from you.
Charlie Simms:
I'm sorry.
Mr. Trask:
I'm sorry, too, Mr. Simms,
because you know what I'm going to do
inasmuch as I can't punish Mr.Havemeyer
Mr. Potter or Mr. Jameson?
And I won't punish Mr. Willis.
He's the only party to this incident
who is still worthy of calling himself a Bairdman.
I'm going to recommend to the disciplinarycommittee
that you be expelled.
Mr. Simms, you are a cover-up artist and you are aliar.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
But not a snitch!
Mr. Trask:
Excuse me?
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
No, I don't think I will.
Mr. Trask:
Mr. Slade.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
This is such a crock of shit!
Mr. Trask:
Please watch your language, Mr. Slade.
You are in the Baird school, not abarracks.
Mr. Simms, I will give you one final opportunityto speak up.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Mr. Simms doesn't want it.
He doesn't need to be labeled
"still worthy of being a Baird man. "
What the hell is that?
What is your motto here?
"Boys, inform on your classmates, save yourhide,
"anything short of that, we're gonna burn you atthe stake?"
Well, gentlemen,
when the shit hits the fan, some guysrun,
and some guys stay.
Here's Charlie, facin' the fire, and there'sGeorge,
hidin' in big daddy's pocket.
And what are you doin'?
You're gonna reward George and destroyCharlie.
Mr. Trask:
Are you finished, Mr. Slade?
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
No, I'm just gettin' warmed up.
I don't know who went to this place.
William Howard Taft, William Jennings Bryan,William Tell, whoever.
Their spirit is dead, if they ever had one. It’sgone. You’re building a rat ship here, a vessel for seagoingsnitches.
And if you think you are preparing these minnowsfor manhood, you better think again, because I say you are killingthevery spirit this institution proclaims itinstills.
As I came in here, I heard those words: (thatBaird is) ‘the cradle of leadership; makers of men, creators ofleaders.
Well … be careful what kind of leaders you areproducing here. I don’t know if Charlie’s silence here today isright orwrong; I’m not a judge or jury. But I cantell you this — he won’t sell anybody out to buy his future! Andthat, myfriends, is called integrity. That’scalled courage. Now that’s the stuff leaders should be madeof.
I have come to the crossroads in my life. I alwaysknew what the right path was. Without exception, I knew, but Inever
took it. You know why? It was too damned hard. Nowhere’s Charlie. He’s come to the crossroads. He has chosen a path.It’s the right path. It’s a path made of principle … that leads tocharacter.
Let him continue on his journey. You hold thisboy’s future in your hands. It’s a valuable future, believe me.Don’tdestroy it. Protect it. Embrace it. It isgoing to make you proud one day, I promise you.
中校与查理在餐厅与Donna唐娜的对话:
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Double Jack Daniels on the rocks.
Andbring my young friend here a Shirley Temple.
Charlie Simms:
Holdon. Do you have beer?
Certainly. May I see some I.D.?
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Areyou interested in walking the rest of your life, chappy?
Waiter:
I'msorry, sir, but...
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
I'ma regular here. My boy's going on 23.
Whydon't you call up front, the office?
Mr.Gilbert, he's a friend of mine.
Waiter:
Anyparticular beer?
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Schlitz. No Schlitz?
Blatz. No Blatz?
Improvise.
Waiter:
I'll do my best,sir.
Charlie Simms:
Thank you, sir.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
You're human, Charlie. Beer?
Whoare we drinking with?
I'mgetting a nice soap- and- water feeling from down there.
Charlie Simms:
Ah... female.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Female?
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
You're callin' her female, must mean you like her or youwouldn't be so casual.
Isshe alone?
Charlie Simms:
Yeah, she's alone.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Things are heating up. Chestnut hair?
Charlie Simms:
Brown, Light brown.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Twenty- two?
Charlie Simms:
Whatam I, guy at a carnival?
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Theday we stop looking, Charlie, is the day we die.
Move.
Charlie Simms:
Where?
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Youknow where, son.
Don't be coy, Charlie.
Thiswoman is made for you. I can feel it.
Goddamn beautiful, isn't she?
Charlie Simms:
She's not bad.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Whoo- bingo! The boy's alive.
Comeon, son, perambulate.
Perambulate.
Excuse me, senorita, do you mind if we join you?
I'mfeeling you're being neglected.
Donna:
Well, I'm expecting somebody.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Instantly?
Donna:
No,but any minute now.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Anyminute?
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Somepeople live a lifetime in a minute.
Whatare you doing right now?
Donna:
I'mwaiting for him.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Would you mind if we waited with you,
youknow, just to keep the womanizers from bothering you?
Donna:
No,I don't mind.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Thank you.
Charlie.
Youknow, I detect a fragrance in the air.
Don't tell me what it is.
Ogilvie Sisters soap.
Donna:
Ah,that's amazing.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
I'min the amazing business!
Donna:
Itis Ogilvie Sisters soap.
Mygrandmother gave me three bars for Christmas.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
I'mcrazy about your grandmother.
Ithink she'd have liked Charlie too.
Charlie Simms:
Don't pay any attention to him.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
What's your name?
Donna:
Donna.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Donna? I'm Frank. This here is...
Donna:
Thisis Charlie.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Yes.She likes you.
Charlie's having a difficult weekend. He's going through acrisis.
Howdoes he look like he's holding up?
Donna:
Helooks fine to me.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Oh!She does like you, Charlie.
So,Donna, ah... do you tango?
Donna:
No.I wanted to learn once, but
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
But?
Donna:
ButMichael didn't want to.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Michael, the one you're waiting for.
Donna:
Michael thinks the tango's hysterical.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Well, I think Michael's hysterical.
Charlie Simms:
Don't pay any attention to him. Did I already saythat?
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Whata beautiful laugh.
Donna:
Thank you, Frank.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Would you like to learn to tango, Donna?
Donna:
Right now?
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
I'moffering you my services free of charge.
Whatdo you say?
Donna:
Ithink I'd be a little afraid.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Ofwhat?
Afraid of making a mistake.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Nomistakes in the tango, not like life.
It'ssimple. That's what makes the tango so great.
Ifyou make a mistake, get all tangled up, just tango on.
Whydon't you try?
Willyou try it?
Donna:
Allright. I'll give it a try.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Holdme down, son.
Yourarm.
Charlie, I'm gonna need some coordinates here,son.
Charlie Simms:
Thefloor's about 20 by 30,
Andyou're at the long end.
There's tables on the outside. The band's on theright.
(Tango is on.)
Donna:
Oh,Frank, you are one incredible dancer.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Wait'll you see Charlie dance.
Charlie Simms:
He's a liar. I don't dance.
Lieutenant Colonel FrankSlade:
Isn't he a charmer, though?
Truth is, not only can he dance,
but he'll sing you a hell of a tune.
He can do bird calls and imitate BelaLugosi.
Michael :
Hi, honey.
Donna:
Hi. Hey.
Michael, this is Frank and this isCharlie.
Hi, Frank, Charlie. Sorry I'm late.
That's okay.
These two gentlemen entertained me,
and time flew.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Your girl is a hell of a tango dancer.
Michael :
At last, you found someone to tangowith.
That's terrific!
Let me shake your hand.
No, it was Frank.
Hell, I'll shake both your hands!
This looks like the place, but we gottago.
We got a date with Darryl and Carol in theVillage.
Do you have a check? Michael, please.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
My pleasure.
Michael :
No, no. I got this.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Michael, get your hand outta yourpocket.
I'll take it. Really.
Allow me.
Michael :
Well, thank you.
Bye, guys.
Danna:
Bye.
Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade:
Darryl and Carol. Yeah.