爱华网Test 3 P513
一、写作题目
Think carefully about the issue presented in the followingexcerpt and the assignment below
Knowledge is power. In agriculture, medicine, and industry, forexample, knowledge has liberated us from hunger, disease, andtedious labor. Today, however, our knowledge has become so powerfulthat it is beyond our control. We know how to do many things, butwe do not know where, when, or even whether this know-how should beused.
Assignment: Can knowledge be a burden ratherthan a benefit? Plan and write an essay in which you developyour point of view on this issue. Support your position withreasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies,experience, or observation.
题目翻译：
知识就是力量。例如，农业、医学、工业等方面的知识使我们从饥饿、疾病和单调的劳作中得到了解放。然而，如今我们的知识变得如此强大，以至于超出了我们的控制范围。我们知道如何去做很多事情，但我们不知道何地、何时，甚至是否需要将这种认识付诸于实际运用。
命题：
知识有可能成为一种负担，而不是福祉吗？
二、6分范文
Knowledge is power; it liberates us, enlightens us, and allowsus to grow and expand and better our conditions. Today, ourknowledge of the world has grown immensely, and could be seen as“beyond our control”, and even a burden. However, history shows usthat while great knowledge can sometimes be a heavy burden, italways has outweighing benefits.
History is rife with examples of knowledge being a burden, butultimately proving to be beneficial. For instance, Galileo, a 17thcentury astronomer and scientist, was arguably the greatestcontributor to science of our time. His diligent research of ourEarth and solar system led to groundbreaking discoveries that, atthe time, were extremely controversial. Galileo was the firstscientist, and person, to question the Church’s statement that theEarth was the center of the solar system, and all other planets andthe Sun revolved around it. He instead argued, and proved throughresearch, that the Sun was the center of our galaxy, and Earth justanother planet in its orbit. This knowledge was profound,enlightening, and powerful; it was also a great burden.
Galileo’s theory was met with disbelief, outrage, and violentopposition; it was an extreme burden to him. The Church was furiousat Galileo for disproving its teachings because at the time, theChurch’s word was law. Never before had its teachings been soscientifically and poignantly questioned. To think that the Earthwasn’t the center around which all things revolved was a shockingand humbling fact that those so fervently set in their beliefscouldn’t accept. Galileo was immediately attacked and interrogatedbecause of his powerful knowledge. He was declared a heretic, andexcommunicated from the Church. Galileo was a very religious man;this social and spiritual ostracizing broke him completely. Evenstill, he knew that although his knowledge was a heavy and painfulburden, it was true, and would later benefit generations ofscientists to come. Today, we attribute Galileo’s discoveries assome of the most important scientific findings of the CommonEra.
Galileo’s story is a historical example of powerful knowledgebeing a burden, but ultimately having extremely positive benefits.If it weren’t for great minds constantly expanding our knowledge ofthe world, we would be a stagnant people, never moving forward andcreating new and marvelous things. Knowledge truly is a tool thatcan change the world and although it may sometimes be inconvenient,it is the most powerful thing we have.
知识就是力量。它解放我们，启迪我们，使我们成长，改善我们的条件状况。如今，我们对世界的了解得到了极大的提高，可以视为“超出了我们的控制范围”，甚至成了一种负担。然而，历史表明，尽管伟大的知识有时会成为一种沉重的负担，但它总会带来更多的福祉。
历史上，知识给人带来负担，但最终被证明对人有益的事例并不鲜见。以17世纪的天文学家和科学家伽利略为例，他或许是历史上对科学贡献最大的人之一。他对于地球和太阳系的辛勤研究带来了突破性的发现，而这种发现在当时极具争议性。当时教会认为，地球是太阳系的中心，其他行星和太阳都围绕地球运动。伽利略是质疑这一说法的第一位科学家，第一个人。他辩称太阳是星系的中心，地球只是运行在其轨道上的行星之一，并通过研究证明了这一点。这项知识意义深远，富于启迪，力量强大。同时，它也是个巨大的负担。
伽利略的理论遭遇了怀疑，愤怒，和暴力反对；它成了他极大的负担。教会对伽利略感到愤怒，因为他反驳了教会的学说，而在当时，教会的话语就是法律。在此之前，它的教义从未遇到如此尖锐的科学的质疑。想一想，地球不是宇宙的中心，万物并不围绕地球转动，这种事实太令人震惊，太令人羞辱了，这些热烈地抱持自己信念的人是无法接受的。因为他的知识，伽利略立刻遭到了攻击和审讯。他被宣布为异教徒，并被驱逐出教会。伽利略笃信宗教；这种社会和精神上的放逐彻底击垮了他。即使如此，他知道，他的知识尽管是一种沉重而痛苦的负担，却是真理，将惠及以后的科学家。如今，我们把伽利略的发现归于纪元以来最重要的科学发现之一。
伽利略的故事是知识成为负担，最终却带来非常积极的影响的历史证据。如果没有智者不断扩展我们对世界的知识，我们将会成为僵化的民族，永远不能前进，创造出非凡的作品。知识确实是一种可以改变世界的工具，尽管有时它会带来不便，它仍是我们所有的最强大的东西。
三、得分点详解
1effectively and insightfully develops a point of view on the issueand demonstrates outstanding critical thinking, using clearlyappropriate examples, reasons, and other evidence to support itsposition
围绕论题有效、深刻地发展一个论点，运用贴切的事例、因果分析和其他证据支持论点，从而展示出色的思辨能力。
针对命题“知识有可能成为一种负担，而不是福祉吗？”，本文提出论点：“尽管伟大的知识有时会成为一种沉重的负担，但它总会带来更多的福祉。”(whilegreat knowledge can sometimes be a heavy burden, it always hasoutweighing benefits.)。
为了证明这一论点，作者用夹叙夹议的手法展开伽利略发现和宣传“地心说”的事例。在论证过程中，作者很好地做到了抽象概念具体化。“Knowledge”在此具体指伽利略提出的日心说：“太阳是星系的中心，地球只是运行在其轨道上的行星之一。” (the Sun wasthe center of our galaxy, and Earth just another planet in itsorbit.)日心说推翻了地球是太阳系中心的错误认识，却给伽利略带来了极大的负担：“因为他的知识，伽利略立刻遭到了攻击和审讯。他被宣布为异教徒，并被驱逐出教会。”(Galileo was immediately attacked and interrogated because of hispowerful knowledge. He was declared a heretic, and excommunicatedfrom the Church.)接下来作者笔锋一转，谈到了知识带来的福祉：“即使如此，他知道，他的知识尽管是一种沉重而痛苦的负担，却是真理，将惠及以后的科学家。如今，我们把伽利略的发现归于纪元以来最重要的科学发现之一。”(Even still, he knew that although his knowledge was a heavy andpainful burden, it was true, and would later benefit generations ofscientists to come. Today, we attribute Galileo’s discoveries assome of the most important scientific findings of the CommonEra.)
在结尾段，作者把伽利略例子的启示推广到人类获得的一切新知识的意义：“如果没有智者不断扩展我们对世界的知识，我们将会成为僵化的民族，永远不能前进，创造出非凡的作品。知识确实是一种可以改变世界的工具，尽管有时它会带来不便，它仍是我们所有的最强大的东西。”(If it weren’t for great minds constantly expanding our knowledgeof the world, we would be a stagnant people, never moving forwardand creating new and marvelous things. Knowledge truly is a toolthat can change the world and although it may sometimes beinconvenient, it is the most powerful thing wehave.)这句话实现了从个体到一般，从特殊到普遍的升华，使得伽利略的单个事例具有了代表性。
整篇文章事例贴切，分析深刻有力，展现了出色的思辨能力。
2is well organized and clearly focused, demonstrating clearcoherence and smooth progression of ideas
结构合理，中心明确，思路连贯，衔接自然。
文章采用总-分-总的结构，首段提出论点，中间段用事例证明论点，末段总结事例和升华主题。在叙述事例的时候，作者综合运用了表示转折、让步的“however”, “while”, “but”，“Even still”，表示举例的 “forinstance”,表示时间的 “today”， “at thattime”等等。在段与段之间，作者以过渡句衔接。如第二段开头引出事例的“历史上，知识给人带来负担，但最终被证明对人有益的事例并不鲜见。”（History is rife with examples of knowledge being a burden, butultimately proving to bebeneficial.）和第二段末的“这项知识意义深远，富于启迪，力量强大。同时，它也是个巨大的负担。”（This knowledgewas profound, enlightening, and powerful; it was also a greatburden.）
全文紧扣论点，不枝不蔓，起承转合十分得体。
3exhibits skillful use of language, using a varied, accurate, andapt vocabulary
显示运用语言的技巧，词汇丰富、准确、恰当
4demonstrates meaningful variety in sentence structure
运用多种句子结构
5is free of most errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics
在语法、用法和技巧上错误很少
本篇范文表达极富文采。文章以谚语开头： “Knowledge ispower”，显得简洁有力。接下来是一个不规则的排比：“它解放我们，启迪我们，使我们成长，改善我们的条件状况。”(itliberates us, enlightens us, and allows us to grow and expand andbetter our conditions.) 类似的排比在文章中多次出现，如第二段末的 “This knowledge wasprofound, enlightening, and powerful;” 以及第三段开头的 “Galileo’s theorywas met with disbelief, outrage, and violentopposition;”文章的末段还使用了“借代”(metonymy)的修辞手法——用 “伟大的头脑”(greatmind)代指有智慧的人。作者对各种句式的运用也很熟练。如倒装句: “Never before had its teachingsbeen so scientifically and poignantly questioned.” 不定式做主语: “Tothink that the Earth wasn’t the center around which all thingsrevolved was a shocking and humbling fact that those so ferventlyset in their beliefs couldn’t accept.” 虚拟语气: “If it weren’t forgreat minds constantly expanding our knowledge of the world, wewould be a stagnant people, never moving forward and creating newand marvelous things.”等等。全文长短句结合，参差有序。
四、经典词句
lOutweigh 超过
例：While great knowledge can sometimes be a heavy burden, italways has outweighing benefits.
Her need to save money outweighs her desire to spend it onfun.
类似结构的词汇：outlive, outnumber, outwit…
larguably可提出证据加以证明的
例：Galileo, a 17th century astronomer and scientist, was arguablythe greatest contributor to science of our time.
Penicillin is arguably the greatest medical discovery of thetwentieth century.
lgroundbreaking 突破性的
例：His diligent research of our Earth and solar system led togroundbreaking discoveries that, at the time, were extremelycontroversial.
After the discovery, scientists decided to carry out agroundbreaking experiment, which is expected to take place thismonth.
lExcommunicate 把…逐出教会
例：He was declared a heretic, and excommunicated from theChurch.
In 1520, Pope Leo the Tenth threatened to excommunicate Martin Luther if he did not recant hisreligious beliefs.
五、事例扩展
伽利略的事例还可用于挑战权威和大众的其他命题
1.Is the opinion of the majority-in government or in any othercircumstances-a poor guide?
2.Do people accomplish more when they are allowed to do things intheir own way?
3.Is it important to question the ideas and decisions of people inpositions of authority?
4.Are people more likely to be productive and successful when theyignore the opinions of others?
5.Is it more valuable for people to fit in than to be unique anddifferent?
6.Do people need to "unlearn," or reject, many of their assumptionsand ideas?
7.Are organizations or groups most successful when their memberspursue individual wishes and goals?
8.Is it better for a society when people act as individuals ratherthan copying the ideas and opinions of others?
9.Are widely held views often wrong, or are such views more likely tobe correct?
