爱华网2013年1月
无老师精析：其实当我们在阅读作文的时候，总是会发现，我们与优秀作文的差距貌似不简简单单是用词的差距。而是同样的一句话，我们是这么说的，但是人家是那么说的。我们写的方式总是把我们脑中的中文，逐字的翻译成英文。但是实际上，慢慢的我们应该做的是将我们脑中的意思，找到英文地道的表达方式，然后直接表达出来，这是一个循序渐进的过程。
无老师满分范例: Also, students would easily become disoriented in the hugesea of information. Although modern technology could equip us witheasy access to information, the huge amount of resources wouldactually leave us discombobulated. Therefore, it is only left topossess information more quickly rather than learn it more quickly.An illustrating example is my experience with a HK digital librarywhich stores almost all the books I desire. At first I enjoyeddownloading them from the database. However, one month later Iended up with hundreds of books stored in my hardware yet none ofthem finished or ever clicked.
无老师优秀中文翻译:同样的,学生将会很容易的变得没有方向,在海量的信息面前。虽然当代的技术使得我们可以很容易的接触到信息，但是大量的信息会使得我们乱了方向。因此，我们只是更快的获得了这些信息，而不是更快的掌握了这些信息。一个最能说明问题的例子就是我在香港数字图书馆的经历，这个图书馆几乎储藏了所有我喜欢的书。最初，我喜欢从数据库下载这些信息。但是，一个月后，当数百本书被储存在我的硬件里，但是没有任何一本书被读完甚至都没有被点击过之后，我就终结了我的行为。
无老师平庸范例：Also, when we face plenty of information, students wouldeasily lost their direction. Although the modern technology helpsus get more information, so much information will distract us. Sowe just collect these information, but we do not absorb theseinformation. The best example is the my experience in the HKdigital library, this library almost have all the books that Ilike. At first, I liked to download these information. However,after a month, when hundreds of books were stored in my hardwareand none of them were opened or even were clicked, I stop stoppedthis behavior.
首先第一句：优秀范例Also, students would easily become disoriented in thehuge sea of information.对比平庸范例Also, when we face plenty ofinformation, students would easily lost theirdirection.我们就会发现人家优秀范例明明几个词就可以搞定的事情，平庸范例竟然用了一个从句！真是啰嗦！这里的优秀范例显然首先是becomedisoriented这里的disoriented这个合成词写的很形象，orient本身就是有“指引方向”的意思，前面加上了dis表示方向的迷失，然后再接下来有用了hugesea of，还真有一点mountain people， mountainsea的赶脚。O(∩_∩)O哈哈~平庸范例虽然写的都没错，但是语言拖沓，而且plenty of和lost theirdirection也只能是中规中矩，比起优秀范例，显然不在一个档次上。
接下来优秀范例说了Although modern technology could equip us with easy accessto information, the huge amount of resources would actually leaveus discombobulated.对比平庸范例Although the modern technology helps usget more information, so much information will distractus.显然优秀范例的equip和easy accessto是最明显的亮点，这里equip是“装备某人”的意思，自然也就“使得某人有了XXX能力”，然后accessto也是中国学生很少用到的固定搭配，这两个两点放在一起，真的是双剑合璧，光芒万丈！不过在接下来优秀范例的discombobulated显得略生僻了，不如平庸范例distract来得简单粗暴，还是让人有些遗憾的。
第三句：优秀范例Therefore, it is only left to possess information morequickly rather than learn it more quickly.对比平庸范例So we just collectthese information, but we do not absorb theseinformation.这里显然优秀范例的亮点是ratherthan这个固定搭配，使得平庸范例but，显得十分的罗嗦。但是反过来，平庸范例的两个动词collect与absorb，却是比优秀范例的动词possess与learn用的准确，这个点要仔细体会。
下面，优秀范例An illustrating example is my experience with a HK digitallibrary which stores almost all the books I desire.对比平庸范例的The bestexample is the my experience in the HK digital library, thislibrary almost have all the books that Ilike.优秀范例的前2大亮点在于illustrating example、HK digitallibrary这两个部分，显示出作者的词汇量储藏很丰富，而且例子很具体，特别令人信服！然后的which从句与前一句链接很紧密，一气呵成，让人读起来颇有很顺畅的感觉。但是反观平庸范例的翻译只是在邯郸学步而已。bestexample是大家都知道的，HK digital library是直接复制过来的，thislibrary单独成句，显然没有which从句的连贯性好。
倒数第二句，优秀范例At first I enjoyed downloading them from thedatabase.对比平庸范例At first, I liked to download theseinformation.，显然优秀范例的database显示出作者词汇量不错。
最后一句，优秀范例However, one month later I ended up with hundreds of booksstored in my hardware yet none of them finished or everclicked.对比平庸范例However, after a month, when hundreds of books werestored in my hardware and none of them were opened or even wereclicked, I stop stopped thisbehavior.显然平庸范例写的也没错，但就是总让人感觉十分的笨拙。而且在这里，之所以感觉平庸范例与优秀范例差别不是特别大，主要是因为优秀范例哪怕翻译成中文，其实也是写得很好的，想想我们自己的中文，我们很有可能干巴巴的写的是“我下载了很多书，但是都没看”，但是这样就远没有，优秀范例的“一个月后，当数百本书被储存在我的硬件里，但是没有任何一本书被读完甚至都没有被点击过之后，我就终结了我的行为。”写得生动。因此，有些时候，优秀的作文不仅仅涉及到表达方式的丰富，而且还涉及到作者本身的文学素养或者说语言素养，如果本身中文就想不到这么写，那么自然英文写就无法流淌出精妙的语句。
2013年2月
无老师满分范例: Another discomfort of our age is that we are experiencinginterpersonal alienation. With the development of communicationtechnology, people in fact become alienated with friends andrelatives, since they could be merely accessed via phone or email.Too often we feel that few of our friends are true friends, withoutthe traditional feeling of mutual affection which could only becreated by longtime apart. But several decades ago, peopletreasured their friends and maintained relatively closeinterpersonal relations, which is much more enjoyable than theestrangements we are experiencing.
无老师优秀中文翻译:我们这一代的另一个不舒服的点，是我们经历了人际之间的冷漠.随着通讯技术的发展,人们实际上是于自己的朋友和亲戚越来越陌生,因为他们只通过电话和电子邮件进行交流.很多时候我们感觉到很少再有朋友是真正的朋友,这都是因为长时间的分开,是我们缺少了那种传统的互相珍爱的感觉.但是几十年之前，人们会珍视他们的朋友，并且维持很亲密的人际关系，这比我们现在正在经历的疏远的人际关系更令人喜欢。
无老师平庸范例：The second disadvantage of this generation is that we areindifferent. With the development of the communication, people arebecoming more and more indifferent with our friends and relatives,because we only connect by telephone and email. we barely feel thatthere are not real friends, because we have left each other toolong, and we lost the traditional feeling of paying attention toeach other. But many years ago, people will pay attention to theirfriends, and keep the good relation with their friends, and thesewill much better than the disconnected relation between people.
无老师精析：本次的平庸范例是真不好写啊，因为优秀范例本身句型实在是写的很地道，转述出来的中文就已经很不中文了，因此相应的平庸范例很多都是很蹩脚的语句，因为只要按照原来的中文来写，英文就必须是很优秀的，非要想写成平庸，难度就非常的高。因此很多时候，平庸范例其实已经不能按照中文逐字逐句的翻译了，而仅仅是做到意思上稍微契合而已。
首先看第一句优秀范例：Another discomfort of our age is that we areexperiencing interpersonal alienation.对比平庸范例：The seconddisadvantage of this generation is that we areindifferent.这个平庸范例简直就是惨不忍睹啊！首先这个优秀范例准确地给出了discomfort这个词，不像是平庸范例仅仅给出了disadvantage，，很显然“缺点”可能是“傲慢”、可能是“贫困”，指代很不明确，但是优秀范例给出了discomfort，这就很准确，不仅如此，优秀范例后面的alienation则更是惊艳！显得作者的词汇量十分庞大，这个词的重点显然不是这个词有多么生僻，恰恰相反，其实alien这个词很常见，但是我们却很少能想起来用到alienation！是因为这一点，显示出了作者的阅读量的强大！
然后第二句With the development of communication technology, people infact become alienated with friends and relatives, since they couldbe merely accessed via phone or email.对比平庸范例的With the developmentof the communication, people are becoming more and more indifferentwith our friends and relatives, because we only connect bytelephone and email.首先“With the development of communicationtechnology”与“With the development of thecommunication”仅差一个technology，到底孰优孰劣真的是见仁见智，有的认为前者更准确，有的则认为后者更简洁，真的是很难分出好坏。但是后面的差距就很明显了，显然作者将alien一词多用，这次又用到了他的动词词性，真的是让人眼前一亮！然后再接下来的access和via则真的是星光熠熠！首先很多考友很难想到用access这个词来表示“与XXX产生联系”，然后via这个词则是更少能在国内的考友的文章当中见到！其实via这个词，非常类似与我们用by，或者in来表示“通过XXX方式”，本篇文章的词汇量不见得多大，但是能把常用的词用的准确到位，显然是本篇文章的亮点！
第三句，优秀范例写的是：Too often we feel that few of our friends are truefriends, without the traditional feeling of mutual affection whichcould only be created by longtime apart.对比平庸范例we barely feel thatthere are not real friends, because we have left each other toolong, and we lost the traditional feeling of paying attention toeach other.显然优秀范例为了增加句子的多样性，在句子前面加了一个toooften这个非常规的用法，来表示频率。然后作者甩出一个without，好像是平淡无奇，但是实际上，仔细读下，我们就会发现里面其实隐含着一种因果关系，就是因为without，所以我们才会感觉到真正的朋友的稀少，这是很多人的文章当中所缺乏的！也就是隐藏在文章字里行间之中的那种逻辑！而不是生硬的用逻辑关系词来表示逻辑！然后再接下来的mutual只能说是楼主的词汇量丰富，但是后面的affection则是大亮点！因为其实affection并不能用某一个中国的词来进行解释，如果非要解释的话，可以解释为“挚爱”或者说是“一种眷恋的喜爱”，隐含着一种“深深地情愫”在里面，如果仔细的观察我们自己的作文的话，往往会发现我们常用的词都是一些可以直译为中文的词，像这样很难翻译成中文的词，我们是很少用的，因此在这里LZ用到了这样的词，可以显示出作者对于教育能力非常的好！然后优秀范例又用了becreated by来表示因果逻辑，显得清新脱俗，有见地！至于最后的longtime apart则是水到渠成的选择。
最后一句，优秀范例But several decades ago, people treasured their friendsand maintained relatively close interpersonal relations, which ismuch more enjoyable than the estrangements we areexperiencing.对比平庸范例But many years ago, people will pay attention totheir friends, and keep the good relation with their friends, andthese will much better than the disconnected relation betweenpeople.显然平庸范例很扭捏的写出了many years，面对优秀范例的severaldecades，几乎无地自容！然后接下来优秀范例很霸气的用到了treasure的动词的词性“珍视”面对很多考友都不知道这个单词有“珍宝”的意思，显然能用到了它的动词词性，是一种很显然的高等级的攻击！然后优秀范例给出了maintainedrelatively close interpersonalrelations这一串组合拳，显然没一个词都不算是很难的词，甚至都是很常见的词，但是我们竟然很少想到把它们放在一起，真的是让人羞愧！当然关键是closeinterpersonal是最难想到的，至于前面加的relatively，则是一种这种水平的必然选择。至于接下来，那就凶悍了！首先moreenjoyable than这就是我们很少能想到的用法，其实有点类似于prefer或者are morelikely，当然prefer我们已经很少用到了，接下来有抖手一镖抛出了estrangement“疏远”，我们才发现作者真的是深藏不漏，这个词真的是要想一下才能从词根中猜测出是“疏远”的意思，对比一下平庸范例，就会觉得平庸范例写的都是干巴巴的没有文采。
多读，多写，多体会，才是王道啊！
2013年3月
无老师满分范例：The last factor that has made our age so uncomfortable isthe abusive use of technology. Although it brings much convenience,it essentially changes human – we are no longerthe master of tools, but instead the slaves of devices. We rush tometro station in order to catch an early train, sit in front ofradioactive computers all day long in order to get our work done,and stay in air-conditioned rooms all summer without experiencingthe natural changes outside thick cement walls. Several decadesago, people could still live closer to nature and make rational useof modern technology, which to me is the essence of human livingexperience.
无老师优秀中文翻译：最后一个使我们这个时代如此的不舒服是对科技的滥用。虽然它带来了很多便利，但是他本质上来说改变了我们的生活。我们不再是工具的主人，恰恰相反，我们变成了工具的奴隶。我们匆忙地奔向地铁站，就是为了赶上早班的火车，整天坐在辐射的电脑屏幕前，为了把我们的工作做完，夏天整个呆在空调房里面，而没有享受厚厚的混凝土外墙外的自然的变化。很多年前，人们可以与自然生活的很亲密，很理性的使用现代科技，这对我来说该是人类活着的本质。
无老师平庸范例：The last reason that makes me uncomfortable is the abuse ofthe technology. Although it brings much convenience, it greatlychanges our life. We are no longer owner of the tools, on thecontrary, we become the slave of the tools. We come to the stationto catch up the early train, sit in front of the computer to do ourjob, stay in the air-conditioner room, and do not enjoy the changeof the nature outside the cement wall. Many years ago, human liveclosely with the nature, and use the technology cleverly, and thatis the nature of life for me.
估计很多考友，当看到中文翻译的时候，就已经预感到了什么，然后当真的看到平庸范例的时候，自然会会心一笑。因为优秀范例和平庸范例真的是太接近了，不是原文写的不好，恰恰相反，因为本篇文章的作者英文功力，应该属于中上等，但是优秀的文学功底抹平了一切，哪怕当我们单纯看中文翻译的时候，都会觉得这篇文章写得不错，自然通过中文翻译，又反过来翻译成英文的平庸范例也没有差得很远。其实我们可以比较一下就会发现，就同样的内容，让我们用中文来写，恐怕都没有原作者写得好，再加上英文能力的差距，就使两者相差得越来越大了。因此我们下面的篇幅，更多的是来分析作者的优秀范例，在平庸范例上的笔墨自然就会少很多了。
第一句，优秀范例：The last factor that has made our age so uncomfortable isthe abusive use of technology.对比平庸范例：The last reason that makes meuncomfortable is the abuse of thetechnology.优秀范例和平庸范例都用了从句的方式来表达这句话，，但是差别在于优秀范例之中作者能想到3个细节点，是它的亮点，第一、age，第二、so，第三、abusiveuse。首先用age来表示“时代”，我们很少用到，接下来，so虽然我们常用，但是我们常用其表示因果联系，很少用他来表示“如此”这层含义，想一想，我们平时此处经常用的是very。第三abuse这个词我们本身就很少见到，自然用到就更少了。
第二句，优秀范例Although it brings much convenience, it essentially changeshuman – we are no longer the master of tools, butinstead the slaves of devices.对比平庸范例Although it brings muchconvenience, it greatly changes our life. We are no longer owner ofthe tools, on the contrary, we become the slave of thetools.其实优秀范例，仅就句式来说，并没有什么很有亮点的地方，优秀范例的有点主要是在于用词和想法取胜。首先，brings muchconvenience说实话真的挺俗的，但是后面的essentially一词用的很好，表示本质上的，根本上的。但是平庸范例只能想到greatly这个词，实在是词汇量太贫乏，筒子们，看什么看，还不赶快拿小本记下来！然后再接下来themaster oftools这个用法不称奇，但是能深刻的认识到我们变成了“工具的奴隶”，这一点令我们印象深刻。然后再接下来一个固定搭配，notbut，增加了句子的内在逻辑连贯性，然后一个instead指示出了变化的趋势，很漂亮！当然，作者没有继续僵化的用tool而是换用了device，也算是小亮点。
接下来，优秀范例We rush to metro station in order to catch an early train,sit in front of radioactive computers all day long in order to getour work done, and stay in air-conditioned rooms all summer withoutexperiencing the natural changes outside thick cementwalls.对比平庸范例We come to the station to catch up the early train, sitin front of the computer to do our job, stay in the air-conditionerroom, and do not enjoy the change of the nature outside the cementwall.这句话可厉害了！首先优秀范例能想到用rush的动词词性表示急急忙忙的赶到车站，用词非常准确！然后再接下来metro一词用的很地道，应该广州和深圳的筒子们都有这个赶脚，然后再接下来一个earlytrain说出rush的原因，同时也写出了笔者的生活到底有多么的苦逼，巧妙！然后再接下来，computer没有用monitor这个词，显然是一个败笔，但是用radioactive一次写出了这里面的危害，很漂亮！不仅如此，inorderto，而不仅仅是一个简单的to，显示出作者词汇量的丰富。其后，air-conditioned就是水到渠成了，因为毕竟是想到了中文，自然就会出现这个词，不过后面用到了简洁的without一词，而不是用到butnot，则是显示出行文已经比较成熟了，是的逻辑连贯性特别好，至于最后的thick cementwalls则是文学功底使然，跟英文高低关系不大。
最后一句话，优秀范例Several decades ago, people could still live closer tonature and make rational use of modern technology, which to me isthe essence of human living experience.对比平庸范例Many years ago, humanlive closely with the nature, and use the technology cleverly, andthat is the nature of life forme.首先，优秀范例又是抛出了优秀作文常用的decade，好吧，败给你了。然后make rational useof！惊艳！竟然没有把rational用成一个副词，而且还跟make use of这个固定搭配配合得很好，真是精彩！最后的tome首先限定出了作用的范围，然后的the essenceof不仅用到了“本质”这么深刻的概念，而且还没有落俗套的再用到nature，不仅显示作者文学功底很好，而且还显示出作者词汇量很丰富，令人印象深刻！
看来文笔好，在哪种语言里都是有优势啊。
2013年4月
无老师优秀范例：But the norm that a “good” product is advertised as a“better” one is often challenged or even reversed– that is, unscrupulous businessmen make use ofadvertising to sell inferior products, which raises a moralquestion. For example, my mother was once attracted by a commercialof a encyclopedia which was claimed to be the one and only completeversion of several ancient Chinese documents. She rushed to theshop and bought this “limited version” at a eye-popping price, andregarded it as one of the most precious things in our house.However, a few months later she found the same version was sold inbulk at another shop at an unbelievably low price, which annoyedher for quite a long time. We can learn from the experience that weshould not always trust the advertisements that are apparentlyexaggerating products, and keep alert in the swarm of televisioncommercials.
无老师优秀中文翻译：把一个还可以的商品，说成是一个最好（为了中文的有效传达，因此如此翻译）的商品的这样的做事准则常常是被挑战，甚至是推翻，也就是，那些无良的商人利用广告来卖劣质商品，这就产生了一个道德问题。比如说，我妈妈有一次就被一个百科全书的广告吸引，这个百科全书被声称是一个，同时也是唯一的一个很多中国古代文件的完整版。她冲去商店，以一个惊人的价格买了这个限量版，并且将其看作是屋里最珍贵的物品之一。但是，几个月后，他看到了同样的书在另一家商店里，以一个很低的价格在甩卖，这使得她闹心了很久。我们可以从中得出，我们并不应该一直相信广告，并且对这些商业广告保持警惕。
无老师平庸范例：The behavior that we boost the good things in to greatthings is always criticized and even turned over, that is, thosebad businessmen use the advertisement to sell bad things, whichmakes a moral question. For example, my mother was attracted by aadvertisement of encyclopaedia, they say the encyclopaedia is theone, and the encyclopaedia is the only full version of Chinesepapers. Then she ran to the bookstore, and bought this limitedversion in very high price, and think it is the most importantthing in my house. But a few months later, she saw the same book inanother bookstore, and the bookstore sold it in very low price, andshe was very unhappy. We can learn that we should not always trustadvertisements, and we should be careful of the advertisements.
本段优秀范例的优势，主要是在于用词的多样和句式的灵活，但是句式的多样？所见不多。
首先优秀范例的第一句：But the norm that a “good” product is advertised as a“better” one is often challenged or even reversed– that is, unscrupulous businessmen make use ofadvertising to sell inferior products, which raises a moralquestion.对比平庸范例The behavior that we boost the good things intogreat things is always criticized and even turned over, that is,those bad businessmen use the advertisement to sell bad things,which makes a moralquestion.显然优秀范例的norm就让我们一惊！原来norm这个单词除了“标准”一意，还能稍微沾一点“做事方式”的意思，然后接下来平庸范例的boost，与优秀范例的advertise都算比较书面化。但是平庸范例的great就没有优秀范例的better好了，因为better是good的比较级，本身是有比前者good更好的感觉存在的，great虽然也表示“很好”，但是与前面的good的天然联系就不够了。然后显然接下来优秀范例的reverse和unscrupulous写得小凶悍，我们确实平时很少想到。而且下面优秀范例还用了固定搭配makeuse of，大亮点！而且优秀范例接下来还不落俗套的用到了inferior和raise这两个词，让人印象深刻！
第二句：优秀范例For example, my mother was once attracted by a commercialof a encyclopedia which was claimed to be the one and only completeversion of several ancient Chinese documents.对比平庸范例For example, mymother was attracted by a advertisement of encyclopaedia, they saythe encyclopaedia is the one, and the encyclopaedia is the onlyfull version of Chinesepapers.优秀范例once一个小词，表明了发生的时间，然后接下来优秀范例为了避免用词重复因此没有再用advertisement而是用了commercial，让人直接联想到商业广告，写得漂亮。然后接下来优秀范例用了wasclaimed tobe，我们很少能想到这样的用法，有加分！最后对比平庸范例，显然在表述唯一的时候，平庸范例很笨拙的翻译为encyclopaedia isthe one, and the encyclopaedia is theonly，显然的中式表达，不过其实这里最大的亮点是在于the one andonly这样递进的强调方式，显得很有新意。当然，优秀范例最后能用到ancient和document，保证了整句的水准。
第三句优秀范例则是整段最大的亮点She rushed to the shop and bought this “limitedversion” at a eye-popping price, and regarded it as one of the mostprecious things in our house.，对比平庸范例Then she ran to the bookstore,and bought this limited version in very high price, and think it isthe most important thing in myhouse.首先用到的一个小词rush，表示出的匆匆忙忙的这个感觉，是run这个题体现不出来的，然后limitedversion则是用的很地道，当然最漂亮的就是at a eye-poppingprice一个让眼睛瞪出来的价格！表示价格非常的高！显然非常具有画面感！本段最大的亮点！性比起来接下来的precious“很珍贵的”也算是不错的词，但是就没有ata eye-popping price这么形象了。
其后，第四句话，优秀范例However, a few months later she found the same versionwas sold in bulk at another shop at an unbelievably low price,which annoyed her for quite a long time.相比于平庸范例But a few monthslater, she saw the same book in another bookstore, and thebookstore sold it in very low price, and she was veryunhappy.显然优秀范例用了version来表示同一本书，而且还是相同的版本，避免了再次使用book这个词的尴尬，而且表达的更为准确。而且这里作者还用到了inbulk来修饰sold，一下子就将前面一句话里面的limitedversion呼应起来，更强烈的对比出妈妈的窘境。然后再用unbelievably lowprice给这本书敲上最后一课钉子，呼应前面的at a eye-poppingprice，写得很漂亮。最后作者又亮出了annoy这个词，再次炫耀一下自己的单词量。
最后一句话，优秀范例We can learn from the experience that we should notalways trust the advertisements that are apparently exaggeratingproducts, and keep alert in the swarm of televisioncommercials.对比平庸范例We can learn that we should not always trustadvertisements, and we should be careful of theadvertisements.显然作者在这里没有很平淡的直接写we learn that而是加上了from theexperience是的句子不会显得很死板，然后作者在句式的多样性上就没什么贡献了，不过在词汇的运用上倒是亮点颇多，apparently，exaggerating，swarm都显示出作者的词汇量丰富，尤其是最后的keepalert in和television commercial更是显示出作者的积累很丰富，否则是想不出来这样的表达的。
2013年5月
无老师优秀范例：What’s more, even though I am truly a food lover, I valuemore about the historical and art meaning of the sites. As aChinese old saying goes, traveling ten thousand miles and readingten thousand books is the top idea for people. The sites are likehuge history books lying there, waiting for us to read. They leadus into a great art class, showing us either natural sights or theextremely skillful artificialities. Besides, the purpose for travelis to extend my outlooks. Food is certainly one way to do that, butit only constitutes a small part of how we can experience the localcultures. And friends are surely great for the company, but theycan also keep your mindset trapped in familiar territory whileabroad.
无老师优秀中文翻译：不仅如此，虽然我真的是一个吃货，但是我更看重这些地方的历史和艺术意义。就像中国古人讲的：行万里路，读完卷书是人生的要义。这些景点就像是躺在那里的历史书，等着我们去品评。他会将我们引入一个巨大的艺术课堂，不仅会给我们展示自然美景，还会给我们展示极为精巧的艺术品。除此之外，旅行的目的也是拓宽我们的视野。美食当然是一部分因素，但是这只是我们感受当地文化的一小部分。朋友作为旅行的陪伴者来说自然是很好的，但是他们会使你的思维模式陷入到固定的领域，在出国的时候。
无老师平庸范例：And, I really like food, but I prefer these places’historical and art meaning. Like Chinese elder saying: walkingmillion miles and reading billions volumes is very important forlife. These places are the lying books, they wait for reading. Theywill lead us to a big art class, they not only show off thebeautiful landscape, but also show off will good artwork. Besides,the purpose of travelling is widening our view. Delicious food is apart of it, but it is only a small part of enjoying local culture.As a company, friends is great, but they will push you stay in afixed thinking model, when you are in the other countries.
这篇文章的优点，一方面是遣词造句很好，但是跟重要的是此作者的思维和表达方式都已经非常地道了，这是非常难得的！
无老师精析：第一句，优秀范例What’s more, even though I am truly a food lover, Ivalue more about the historical and art meaning of thesites.对比平庸范例And, I really like food, but I prefer these places’historical and art meaning.我们会发现平庸范例的likefood虽然说得也对，也符合英语语法，但是优秀范例很地道的用名词性的foodlover来表示，就显得很地道！然后再接下来优秀范例的value也没有像平庸范例生硬的直译成prefer，而是直接用英式的思维方式“看重”这个概念来表示喜爱，颇有镇魂单词题的感觉！而且在最后，优秀范例还用了Aof B的形式来表示“XXX的”也是很书面的感觉。
第二句，优秀范例As a Chinese old saying goes, traveling ten thousand milesand reading ten thousand books is the top idea for people.和平庸范例LikeChinese elder saying: walking million miles and reading billionsvolumes is very important for life.这里优秀范例的优点就是在于As a Chinese oldsaying goes这个接近于固定搭配的结构用的很好。再就是最后的is the top ideafor很有想法！一定要记下来！至于平庸范例，呵呵。仅仅是人家能看懂而已。写得不够地道。
下面，优秀范例：The sites are like huge history books lying there, waitingfor us to read.对比平庸范例These places are the lying books, they waitfor reading.首先site本身有地点和景点的意思，这显然比place这个单词表意要准确得多。而且优秀范例的hugehistory books lying there显然有一种画面感，跃然纸上，但是平庸范例are the lyingbooks没给人这种感觉。还有就是优秀范例的waiting for us toread，一个伴随状语，感觉与主句一气呵成，这比平庸范例又起一句话显然更流畅一点。
第四句，优秀范例They lead us into a great art class, showing us eithernatural sights or the extremely skillfulartificialities.对比平庸范例的They will lead us to a big art class, theynot only show off the beautiful landscape, but also show off willgoodartwork.第一句差别不大，只是平庸范例的big略土，然后接下来优秀范例再次祭出doing这样的结构链接主句，而且还用了either…or…的结构进行连接，使得整句话形成一个整体，环环相扣。而且naturalsights和extremely skillfulartificialities，想一想，我们平时有可能很少都见到这样的表达方法，充分显示出作者的词汇量！
第五句，优秀范例Besides, the purpose for travel is to extend myoutlooks.与平庸范例Besides, the purpose of travelling is widening ourview.其实差别不大。
第六句，高潮来了！优秀范例Food is certainly one way to do that, but it onlyconstitutes a small part of how we can experience the localcultures.对比平庸范例Delicious food is a part of it, but it is only asmall part of enjoying local culture.显然平庸范例的is a part ofit写的是对的。但是当我们看到优秀范例的时候，马上明白了，虽然优秀范例one way to dothat的词都很简单，但是显然地道的多！然后优秀范例用了constitute更精确的用到了“组成”这个含义，这是平庸范例的is做不到的。至于最后的优秀范例的howwe can experience the local cultures和平庸范例的enjoying localculture就差别不大了。
整篇文章的最后一句，则更显地道！优秀范例And friends are surely great for the company,but they can also keep your mindset trapped in familiar territorywhile abroad.对比平庸范例As a company, friends is great, but they willpush you stay in a fixed thinking model, when you are in the othercountries.不知各位考友有没有感觉，在翻译这句优秀范例的时候，有点感觉无从下嘴，都能看懂，但是翻译成中文就是很怪！之所以这样，是因为在优秀范例之中，for，我们最常用的意思是“为了XXX目的”，直译过来就是“为了伴随的目的”，但是在中文之中，我们当说“伴随”这个意思的时候，中文的逻辑是as“作为”这层意思，这是两种语言之间的逻辑而导致的表达方式不同。所以说优秀范例很地道，然后优秀范例的keepyour mindset trapped in familiarterritory用词颇有眼花缭乱的感觉！充分显示出作者凶悍的词汇量和阅读量！我们的第一感觉很有可能是，我们都没见过这么写的！这就是本句话的优势所在！
2013年6月
无老师优秀范例: A clear career goal is the cornerstone of student’s futuredevelopment. Providing a targeted course about career planning cangive orientations of students’ suitable occupation development.Introductions for proper fields may inspire students’ interests onacquiring more specific knowledge by themselves. Also, this processwill help build a bridge from the tower of ivory to a real society.Adequately preparations and practical skills will be taught aboutdealing with relationships with interviewers and workmates in thefuture. Thus, students benefit a lot for having deepercomprehension about career and their suitable jobs.
无老师优秀翻译：一个清晰的职业目标是学生未来发展的基石.为将来的职业规划学一门目标课程,可以给学生们合适的职业发展的方向。对于合适的领域的介绍，可以激发学生们自己获取更多专业知识的兴趣。同时，这样的过程，也会帮助建立一个，从象牙塔通向现实社会的桥梁。充分的准备和实用的技巧将会被传授，它们包括如何在将来处理与面试者和同事的关系。因此，学生们会学到很多对于职业和合适的工作的深入的理解。
无老师平庸范例：A clear job plan is the footstone of the futuredevelopment. Studying a target class for career plan will givestudents proper job plan. The introduction of the proper field willencourage the interest of getting more professional knowledge bythemselves. At the same time, the process will help to build abridge which connect the tower of elephant’s tusk and the society.Good preparation and useful skills will be taught, it will includehow to solve the relationship with the interviewer and thecolleagues. So students will a lot about the job plan and theproper job.
如果，我们将所有的优秀作文，进行横向比较的话，本篇作文一定不是在句式上取胜的！本篇优秀范例的优点，主要就是在于用词！但是当用词非常准确时，就会出现一个问题，就是优秀范例与平庸范例之间的差别不大，因此本次的讲解主要在于优秀范例！
首先第一句，优秀范例：A clear career goal is the cornerstone of students’future development.对比平庸范例：A clear job plan is the footstone of thefuture development.显然这里优秀范例的goal这个词我们很少想到，我们经常就是在使用clearcareer这样的表达方法，很少想到与goal连在一起。其后cornerstone基石这个词，也充分显示出作者的词汇量，平时我们还是用basic多一点。
接下来，优秀范例Providing a targeted course about career planning can giveorientations of students’ suitable occupationdevelopment.对比平庸范例：Studying a target class for career plan willgive students proper jobplan.优秀范例的第一亮点就在于targeted这个词的使用，将target这个平时最为常见于名词词性的词动词化，然后再用其的过去分词形式，很漂亮！然后orientation和occupation其实与introduction和job以及career意思都很接近，但是作者就是能用不同的表达方式，就是要秀自己的词汇量！
第三句，优秀范例：Introductions for proper fields may inspire students’interests on acquiring more specific knowledge bythemselves.比较于平庸范例The introduction of the proper field willencourage the interest of getting more professional knowledge bythemselves.这个第三句的优秀范例实在是觉得在job、career这几个词来回游荡太乏味了，于是写出了field“领域“，但是由于前面都是在写“工作”，我们自然也心领神会，这是工作或者专业领域。然后inspire自然用的是很地道，平庸范例的对应词encourage就实在是“呵呵”了，用在这里稍显中式英语。至于最后，当然是acquire和specific这两个词用的很好。
第四句的优点则在于作者阅读量，或者作者的一点点文采！优秀范例：Also, this process will help build abridge from the tower of ivory to a real society.对比平庸范例：At the sametime, the process will help to build a bridge which connect thetower of elephant’s tusk and thesociety.“架起了两者之间的桥梁“。虽然读起来略像是小学生作文之中的句子，但是能用在这篇严肃的议论文中，已经很有文学气息了，好么！而且作者后面的“象牙塔”写的还那么准确towerof ivory。再回头看平庸范例的the tower of elephant’s tusk，简直就是good good study,day day up的翻版啊！不自黑一下，难平民愤啊！
其后，优秀范例为Adequately preparations and practical skills will be taughtabout dealing with relationships with interviewers and workmates inthe future.再来看平庸范例：Good preparation and useful skills will betaught, it will include how to solve the relationship with theinterviewer and thecolleagues.看到这里真的觉得作者已经非常痛苦了！大而空的东西写多了，真的是难以为继啊！作者好不容易又想到了，课程里面该教点什么？自然要教一些技能了！于是就又写出了Adequatelypreparations and practicalskills。否则作者真的要抓狂了。至于后面的interviewers和workmates，应该算是中等偏上的表达方法，算不得特别亮眼。
最后一句，优秀范例写的是Thus, students benefit a lot for having deepercomprehension about career and their suitable jobs.平庸范例则是潦草收场Sostudents will a lot about the job plan and the properjob.看到优秀范例的having真的忍不住蛋疼菊紧，你们以后再用having的时候，能不能试一下去掉having，看看这句话是否通顺！很多情况下，我们用的have用的是真没必要！至于优点，优秀范例的benefit和comprehension也是可以算中等偏上的，但是仅此而已。平庸范例？算了吧，太幼稚园了！
2013年7月
无老师优秀范例：In the lecture, the professor casts doubt on the readingpassage that deep-sea mining is hopeful.
First of all, according to the lecture, although there are richscarcely metals near volcanic vent of seabed, immediate technologyfor deep-sea mining is undeveloped and the metals from the miningare not always available. For example, it is hard to separatemetals from the sediment in terms of collecting technology.Moreover, transferring the metals out of the sea is not easy withrespect to transportation.
无老师优秀中文翻译：在听力之中，教授质疑阅读的材料当中所说的深海矿产是很有希望的。
首先，根据听力，虽然在靠近海床通气孔的位置，有很多稀有金属，但是现在的深海开采技术还不够先进，这些矿仓的金属其实开采不到。例如，现在难以从现在的开采技术所获得的沉积层当中分离金属。而且，考虑到运输的问题，其实从大海之中得到这些金属并不容易。
无老师平庸范例：In the lecture, the professor stands on the other side ofthe reading that digging the mine in the deep sea is hopeful.
First of all, according to the lecture, although there are manyrare metals near the volcanic vent of sea floor, the technology ofthe deep sea mining is not good enough for dig these metal. Forexample, it is hard for us to separate these rare metals from thesediments that we excavate in the deep sea. What’s more,considering the trouble in the transportation, it is not easy forus to transfer these rare metals.
总有筒子们要求无老师再讲讲综合作文，无老师这个月就找一个满分的综合作文跟大家聊聊。在出国留学这个圈子里，很多人就是喜欢怪力乱神，称个王，封个后，你这边是教父，我那边是教主，左边一个XX阅读法，右边一个山山作文法，其实没必要，综合作文这东西，说白了，就是在考你的听力水平几何，因为人家阅读原文都已经摆在那里了，还需要你说什么呢，其实就是要考你听力的内容听懂了多少，以及你能写出来多少。
至于大家最常见的5个问题，答案也很简单。
1 可以用模板么？
答：可以，因为模板并不能改变你听力听懂多少和还原出多少。
2 先写听力，还是先写阅读？
答：不重要，都可以，完全不影响分数
3 听力要写多少？
答：70-80%以上都要是听力，阅读就每段随便提一句就好，不提也行。
4 听力和阅读可以写原文么？
答：不可以写一模一样的原文，一定要经过自己改写。
对了，很多人还关心师太，啊不对，应该是时态，其实无所谓，你喜欢用过去时也行，像本篇文章一样用现在时也可以。
很显然，由于优秀作文的原文太扎实了，因此该写出的平庸范例水平十分相近，只是在句式和用词上，无老师努力让他缺少变化了一点。
第一段，优秀范例In the lecture, the professor casts doubt on the readingpassage that deep-sea mining is hopeful.对比平庸范例：In the lecture, theprofessor stands on the other side of the reading that digging themine in the deep sea ishopeful.好吧，无老师错了，平庸范例写的稍微比优秀范例好了一点点，主要是因为stands on the other sideof the reading写的惟妙惟肖。
第二句，优秀范例First of all, according to the lecture, although there arerich scarcely metals near volcanic vent of seabed, immediatetechnology for deep-sea mining is undeveloped and the metals fromthe mining are not always available.对比平庸范例First of all, accordingto the lecture, although there are many rare metals near thevolcanic vent of sea floor, the technology of the deep sea miningis not good enough for dig thesemetal.显然优秀范例的rich比平庸范例的many更形象一点。然后优秀范例的near volcanic vent ofseabed，对比平庸范例的sea floor显然优秀范例单词量很大。然后优秀范例竟然用到了immediatetechnology和undeveloped来分别表示最新的技术和不够发达，这比起平庸范例单纯用了technology和is notgood enough显然用词地道很多！有其实优秀范例最后还用了are not alwaysavailable这个用法来表示我们平时常用的can not这层含义，显得十分高端！
第三句，优秀范例For example, it is hard to separate metals from thesediment in terms of collecting technology.对比平庸范例For example, it ishard for us to separate these rare metals from the sediments thatwe excavate in the deep sea.这里优秀范例的亮点就是在于，平庸范例很麻烦的用了一个从句才写清楚的thatwe excavate in the deep sea，优秀范例用了一个轻巧的固定搭配in terms of collectingtechnology就写清楚了，而且还用collectingtechnology来表示已经写了很多次的mine这层意思，显得词汇量很棒！
最后一句，优秀范例Moreover, transferring the metals out of the sea is noteasy with respect to transportation.对比平庸范例What’s more, consideringthe trouble in the transportation, it is not easy for us totransfer these rare metals.最后这一句呢，其实使优秀范例和平庸范例各有千秋。优秀范例是out of和withrespect to这两个固定搭配用的很好！平庸范例是considering宾语这个结构用的不错，当然，总的来说，还是优秀范例更胜一筹！
平时作文巨讲堂多注重词句之间的回旋，今天特在文章开始加入了对于综合作文这个大类的讲解，希望对考友们有所帮助。^_^
2013年8月
无老师优秀范例：Secondly, the professor argues that harmful minerals andchemicals will spread out through water even if the mining spot iswithin two thousand kilometers from the volcanic vent. And theseminerals and chemicals would drift back towards the vent, whichmeans that the ecosystems near the vent would be disturbed and theconsequences are long-term. The reading passage, by comparison,suggests that ecosystems nearby would not be affected.
无老师优秀中文翻译：第二点，教授认为有害的矿物质和化学物质将会通过水进行扩散，哪怕采矿点是在火山口2000米之内。这些矿物质和化学物质会飘回火山口，这意味着火山口附近的生态系统将会被打乱，这个影响，将是长期的。阅读文章，比较之下，指出附近的生态系统不会受到影响。
无老师平庸范例：Secondly，the professor thinks bad minerals and chemicalswill go away through water, no matter the mining point is less than2000 meters from the volcanic vent. The minerals and chemicalswould fly back to the volcanic vent, and this implies that theanimals and plants will be destroyed by the minerals and chemicals,and this will be a long time. The reading passage, in comparison,points that the near minerals and chemicals will not be effect.
无老师平时写的平庸范例，很少会加入语法错误，今天努力了一下，加入了一些特别常见的语法错误，主要是让同志们感受一下，有些考友的问题所在，真的不是一个模板就能解决的。
不过无老师在这里也特别提一下，很多考友总是反映自己的综合作文莫名其妙得了fair，在这种情况下，往往是听力不给力，但是一看听力分数，也是飚出了接近满分的分数。其实这种情况，就很有可能是对于听力的内容还原的不全，我们只要看一下原文就会发现，其实听力内容，很多时候，逻辑链还是挺长的，但是有些考友，往往只写了逻辑链的三分之二，里面还剩下很重要的推导过程，没有写上，分数就自然也会被切一刀的。综合作文要想得高分，遣词造句要准确，对于内容的还原也要完整！
好了，回头说今天的作文巨讲堂。
综合作文第一句Secondly, the professor argues that harmful minerals andchemicals will spread out through water even if the mining spot iswithin two thousand kilometers from the volcanicvent.对比平庸范例Secondly，the professor thinks bad minerals and chemicalswill go away through water, no matter the mining point is less than2000 meters from the volcanic vent.显然平庸范例的bad、go away和nomatter写的都是驴唇不对马嘴，根本都没有准确还原原文的意思，各位考友一定要注意！首先在优秀范例之中，首先要特别注意的是作者写的是theprofessorargues，这里的argue不是争论的意思，而是认为的意思，这一点各位考友要特别注意！其后，优秀范例也没有像平庸范例那样很土的用了bad，这个词，而是羞答答的用了harmful，恩，隐忍，而且准确多了！然后接下来优秀范例用了spreadout这个表达方式，给人一种如水波纹一般飘飘荡荡，向外散播的感觉，准确！而且优秀范例还用到了托福阅读里常用的spot，高端！大气！上档次！
优秀范例第二句And these minerals and chemicals would drift back towardsthe vent, which means that the ecosystems near the vent would bedisturbed and the consequences are long-term.，对比平庸范例The mineralsand chemicals would fly back to the volcanic vent, and this impliesthat the animals and plants will be destroyed by the minerals andchemicals, and this will be a long time.在这句的平庸范例里，倒是没什么错，但是theanimals and plants总还是稍有曲解的感觉，以及最后的this will be a longtime，也总是有那么一点点怪怪的，因为这里的this指代的不是很清晰，而且longtime和long-term的意思还是有本质上的差别的。至于这里优秀范例的优点，首先在于drift特指的是飘动~~~~~，这跟fly相比，显然意思表达的更准确，灰尘又不是动物，怎么会飞翔呢。而且towards相比于to，不仅有方向感，还有一种运动的延续性，这是to这个词没有的。而且优秀范例还用了非限定性定语从句which，使得句子的逻辑连续性很棒！不过至于后面的ecosystems、disturbed、和consequence，只能算是中规中矩，正常水平。
至于优秀范例的最后一句The reading passage, by comparison, suggests thatecosystems nearby would not be affected.这里的bycomparison显得很俏皮，可以拿来当做模板来使用。^_^
2013年9月
无老师优秀范例：Lastly, the professor points out that internationalagencies and laws are only valid for open sea. But mining companieschoose coastal areas of a particular country as mining locationswhich are managed by the government of this country rather than bythe laws. Therefore the laws are not helpful to confine the miningcompanies. The reading passage, in contrast, indicates theinternational agencies and laws could regulate mining firms in caseof polluting the environment.
无老师优秀中文翻译：最后，教授指出国际组织和国际法只对于公海有效。但是矿产公司选择某一国家的沿海地区作为矿山，这些矿山可以由政府管理，而不是法律。因此，法律对于限制矿产公司没有任何作用。阅读材料相反，指出国际组织和国际法应该限制矿业公司，防止他们污染环境。
无老师平庸范例：Thirdly, lecture said that international organization andlaws are used in the open sea. But mining companies would choose acountry’s shore as the mining, this mining would be controlled bythe government, but not the laws. So, the laws would not controlthe mining company. But the reading said that internationalorganization and laws should restrict these mining companies, andshould not let them pollute environment.
本年度综合作文的最后一期，无老师的平庸范例没有下手的太厉害，其实主要是原文写的中规中矩，很难写得特别差。^_^
第一句，优秀范例：Lastly, the professor points out that internationalagencies and laws are only valid for open sea.对比平庸范例：Thirdly,lecture said that international organization and laws are used inthe open sea.显然，平庸范例只是简单地用了said来表达个人的观点，远没有pointsout来得高端大气上档次。然后，优秀范例的be valid for也写得很漂亮！类似于我们平时写的beuseful这个词，用valid与useful互换，显然可以增加词汇的多样性。
其后，优秀范例But mining companies choose coastal areas of a particularcountry as mining locations which are managed by the government ofthis country rather than by the laws.显然比平庸范例的用词要准确得多But miningcompanies would choose a country’s shore as the mining, this miningwould be controlled by the government, but not thelaws.在这里，优秀范例的coastal areas、a particular country、mininglocations、ratherthan显然，我们都能读懂，但是很有趣，我们很少能想起来这么用，这里主要是因为我们自身的阅读量偏低，而导致的表达方式的贫乏。相比起来平庸范例的shore就显得不够准确，因为特指海边，但是矿山又不可能开在这样的地方，只有优秀范例的coastalareas显得更符合原句的意思一些。然后再接下来，优秀范例的a particular country、mininglocations、rather than都使得原句的准确性和连贯性想比平庸范例的a country，the mining和butnot要好很多。
第三句，优秀范例Therefore the laws are not helpful to confine the miningcompanies.对比平庸范例So, the laws would not control the miningcompany.这里的平庸范例显然是一个错误范例，请注意confine和control这两个词在意思上的细微差别。Confine是限制的意思，比如说限制某人的活动。Control是控制，比如说，打开这个按钮，水就会出来之类的意思。意思上是有差别的。
最后一句，优秀范例The reading passage, in contrast, indicates theinternational agencies and laws could regulate mining firms in caseof polluting the environment.对比平庸范例But the reading said thatinternational organization and laws should restrict these miningcompanies, and should not let them pollute environment.显然优秀范例的incontrast很轻巧，也很好的控制了句子的节奏，大赞！然后接下来作者故意不落俗套，为了显示自己用词的多样性，接连甩出regulate和firm来替换confine和company，十分精彩！然后最后又用了一个大招incase of，我们上期不用说平庸范例用的很土鳖的should not let，哪怕是比起更准确的表达prevent from。incase of的简洁，以及使得句子整体的连贯性的通顺，都是显然好很多的！一个in case of，留下作者身后无尽功与名！
2013年10月
无老师优秀范例：The courses are mutual beneficial for not only the studentsbut also the university. Increasing employment rates of graduateslargely boost the school’s reputation among its potentialapplication, thereby; the school will attract better students.What’s more, the successful graduates are likely to donate moremoney for the better future of their mother school, just thinkingabout the Ivy League’s funds and their great reputations in thewhole world. So, there is no excuse for school not to takeadvantages of the resources to help students a better developmentin career.
无老师优秀中文翻译：这样的课程不仅对于学生很有益处，而且对于大学也很有好处。研究生就业率的增加极大的提升了学校的声誉，自然而然的，在潜在申请者之中；学校将会吸引更好的学生。不仅如此，那些取得成功的研究生,很有可能捐赠更多的钱给母校，来帮助母校未来的成长，我们只要想想藤校的资金和他们在全球范围内的声誉（就明白了）。因此，这里没有任何的借口可以提，如果学校不利用自己的资源来帮助学生在自己的工作中取得一个更好的发展。
无老师平庸范例：These classes are useful for the student and theuniversity. The increasing of the graduates’ employment rate willincrease the school’s name in the students who are going to apply,and the university will attract more good students. Besides, thosesuccessful students may give more money to the mother school tohelp the university’s development, and we can understand that bythe example of the Ivy League’s money and their good name in theworld. So there is no excuse for the universities to do not usetheir resource to help the students to have a good development intheir job.
点滴之间见高低！用这句话来形容本篇优秀范例，实在是再恰当不过了！
当我们来看本篇优秀作文的时候，会发现整体句式并没有特别亮眼之处，但是就是在一些小词的运用上，充分显示出境界的不同！
第一句，亮剑！优秀范例：The courses are mutual beneficial for not only thestudents but also the university.对比平庸范例：These classes are usefulfor the student and theuniversity.首先优秀范例用的beneficial这个词显示出自己的单词量不是泛泛之辈，但是这并不是本句的点睛之笔，本剧最提神的就是mutual这个词的使用！虽然我们都能想到用notonly…butalso…这样的固定搭配来连接“不仅，而且”但是能想到用mutual这个词来挖掘、并且加强内部就已经含有的“互相帮助”这层含义，确实是十分少见的。
第二句，上刺刀！优秀范例：Increasing employment rates of graduates largely boostthe school’s reputation among its potential application, thereby;the school will attract better students.对比平庸范例The increasing of thegraduates’ employment rate will increase the school’s name in thestudents who are going to apply, and the university will attractmore good students.很显然，在这里虽然•虽然在句子的开始，优秀范例和平庸范例都用了Increasingemployment ratesgraduates这几个词，但是排列的方式的不同，使得平庸范例就成了很生硬的中文对英文的直接的翻译，但是在优秀范例之中，Increasing虽然是当做一个形容词来使用，但是仍然十分准确的表达出了“增加”的这层含义，而且没有丝毫的喧宾夺主，可以说是分成功。接下来，优秀范例又小傲娇了一下自己的单词量，用boost这个词，至于后面的reputation只能算是中规中矩，主要是后面的平庸范例表现的太差了，才显示出他比较耀眼。在他的后面potentialapplication之中的potential虽然用得很到位，但是在之前的作文巨讲堂之中用的很多了，我们已经有点见怪不怪了。其实本句话最为有趣的是thereby这个词的使用，很简单，但是在位置上十分耐人寻味！到底是用于连接分号后面的，还是在连接分号前面这句话，亦或者是两句话都连接，如果是作者有意为之的话，那么可以说非常巧妙！
第三句，杀！优秀范例：What’s more, the successful graduates are likely todonate more money for the better future of their mother school,just thinking about the Ivy League’s funds and their greatreputations in the whole world.对比平庸范例：Besides, those successfulstudents may give more money to the mother school to help theuniversity’s development, and we can understand that by the exampleof the Ivy League’s money and their good name in theworld.当然我们都能发现，几个很显眼的亮点是are likelyto这个固定搭配，donate这个词的使用，而不是像平庸范例傻傻的给出give这个词，显得一点都不准确，目的和方向性都不清楚，以及IvyLeague’s funds这个词用得很准确。但是其实在整句话之中，最漂亮的就是justthinking！在这里，如果各位考友仔细的对比过无老师的中文翻译的话，我们会发现里面有一个（就明白了），是用括号标明的，这里是原文当中虽然没有明确说出，但是justthinking本身就已经表达出这层含义，而没有必要把后面一句话补全，这就好比高手之间过招，点到为止，举手投足之间，尽显高手本色！绝对的加分亮点！
最后一句话，定江山！优秀范例：So, there is no excuse for school not to takeadvantages of the resources to help students a better developmentin career.对比平庸范例So there is no excuse for the universities to donot use their resource to help the students to have a gooddevelopment in their job.显然无老师淘气了一下，故意在平庸范例里做了个语法错误，就是to do notuse，要是非要说有点的话，亮点不是很多，应该有2处，一是优秀范例用了no excusefor，平庸范例是模仿之下就跟着用了，另外一个是优秀范例用了take advantagesof这个固定搭配，还算及格水平，其他的，别无令人欣赏的地方。
2013年11月
无老师优秀范例：Many people regard college as a place for students bendingon study. It is also true that students will get professionalknowledge on theoretic study to prepare for their future career.However, the more effective way is tolinking（原文这里写错了，无老师不想改，满分作文也是允许有错误的，因为她是看你整体的水平） theory withpractice, which means it is of vital importance for students,colleges, and even the whole society to have job preparationclasses for students before their first job.
Apparently, school is not only a place for just teaching usknowledge from the books, but also a place to help us build ourcharacter as well as direct our future orientation. The careercourses function as a guide to our future job selection,universities should pay sufficient attention to it.
无老师优秀中文翻译：很多人将大学看做是学生们在学习上竭尽全力的地方。确实很多学生将会在理论学习上得到非常专业的知识，这将为未来的工作做准备。但是，其实更有效的方式是将理论联系实际，（因此，让人们）有第一份工作之前，先上一个工作预备班让学生、大学甚至整个社会在是非常的重要。
很显然，学校不仅仅是一个教授我们书本上知识的地方，而且还是一个帮助我们塑造自己的性格、和指引我们未来方向的地方。工作预备课程对我们未来的职业选择有帮助，大学应该对此给予充分的关注。
无老师平庸范例：Many people think that university is a place that studentsshould work hard on study. Indeed, many students can get veryprofessional knowledge in theory, and this will get ready forworking. But, the more useful way is connecting the theory to thefact, and it is important to have a working preparing class, and itwill be very important to the students, college and allsociety.
Clearly, schools are not only a place which could teach knowledgefrom the books, but also a place that can help us to build ourcharacter, give direction for our future. Working preparing classis useful to our job selection, university should pay moreattention.
无老师精析：这两段其实取材于一篇作文的一头一尾，主要是因为单纯的取其中任何一段，都太单薄了，因此无老师加班加点，特地附上两段内容。
当头炮，优秀范例：Many people regard college as a place for students bendingon study.对比平庸范例Many people think that university is a place thatstudents should work hard onstudy.其实在表示“认为”这个意思的时候，很多单词都能完成这个功能，比如说“argue”“suggest”“hold”，但是我们平时如果不注意的话，画着没有领悟到这一层的话，很容易就会写得特别的僵化，总是在“think”“believe”的反复用，显得特没受过教育。而优秀范例之中，只要想到了regard，那么自然会想到as，这没什么特别的。但是原作者能用到bending这个词，确实很令人出乎意料，写得非常地道，表示努力工作的意思。
把马跳，优秀范例It is also true that students will get professionalknowledge on theoretic study to prepare for their futurecareer.对比平庸范例Indeed, many students can get very professionalknowledge in theory, and this will get ready forworking.在本句话之中，优秀范例胜在两点，第一点是用词准确，第二点是连贯性很好。用词准确，显然讲的就是theoreticstudy这个表达方式写的很地道，很多时候，阅读量少，或者没有在英语环境下生活过，真的就是硬伤！一个简单的例子，在美国我们如果说“这个东西打包带走”，该怎么说？是的，你会说takeout，但是实际上他们经常问你的togo？就是是否外带的意思。这么没办法，没在英文环境里生活过，办法真的不多。第二点就是优秀范例用了todo这个动词不定式来表示逻辑上的顺承，这个写的很地道，这就是语言之间的表达方式的不同决定的，这个只有先悟到，然后再慢慢尝试多写才行。
第三句，优秀范例However, the more effective way is to linking theory withpractice, which means it is of vital importance for students,colleges, and even the whole society to have job preparationclasses for students before their first job.对比平庸范例But, the moreuseful way is connecting the theory to the fact, and it isimportant to have a working preparing class, and it will be veryimportant to the students, college and allsociety.这一句话，显然原作者发了大招。首先上来就是用了more effective way，但是平庸范例只是用了themore usefulway，这就体现出汉语有的时候缺少细节，到底什么算有用呢“提高效率可以算有用，减少时间可以算有用，帮助沟通也可以算有用，但是，具体是哪一个，我们不清楚，这样我们的文章就显得空洞无味。但是如果我们能够写出更多的细节，就会让文章看上去很有趣，也更饱满。现在再来看射雕英雄传的第一句，“钱塘江浩浩江水，日日夜夜无穷无休的从临安牛家村边绕过，东流入海。”再试试自己转述一下这句话，是不是发现了，有的时候不仅仅是英文有问题，而是我们的中文有问题，本来就是写东西不够细。再来看moreeffective way是不是比more usefulway写得更好些了。再接下来，其实link并不见得比connect好一点，只是两者之间用词不同而已，但是优秀范例用了with确实比平庸范例的to显得灵活一些。
但是接下来优秀范例，下面这半句话写的很地道！首先一个which引导的从句，引出前后两半句话是因果逻辑，然后马上一个mean顺势而出引出下面内容，当水滑到剑中，冷的反射出一滴寒光，一个beof vital结构从哪一点寒光之中钻入双眼，别看结构简单，但是我们竟然从来都没用过，漂亮！其后3者的并列students,colleges, and even the wholesociety看似简单，但是水滴已在剑尖摇摇欲坠，让人寒光四射，真的是于无声处听惊雷！要速速记下！后面的job preparationclasses算不得是很优秀，但是始终是聊胜于无。其实更漂亮的是，水滴竟然一抖冲上10丈之高，引领了在场众英雄的眼神，在此处的beforetheir firstjob，虽然一个不起眼的限定，但是恰好能点在这个位置，就让优秀范例写得特别饱满。其实小伙伴们可以试一下，没有这个beforetheir first job这句话也完全成立，一点错误都没有，但是加上这个before their firstjob之后，就使句子显得细节很丰富，让众英雄好似寒冬突袭，木呆呆立在了当场。
第二段第一句，优秀范例Apparently, school is not only a place for just teachingus knowledge from the books, but also a place to help us build ourcharacter as well as direct our future orientation.对比平庸范例Clearly,schools are not only a place which could teach knowledge from thebooks, but also a place that can help us to build our character,give direction for ourfuture.优秀范例的Apparently不见得比Clearly好很多，只是显得词汇量比较丰富。然后再接下来的notonly…but also…用的也算俏皮，加0.1分！其实最大的亮点还是3个疾风闪电似的鹞子翻身，首先第一个from thebooks，跟前面的before their first job一样，没什么难度，但是我们很少想到会写。然后build ourcharacter与direct our future orientation就更是亮眼！我们第一次发现，原来还可以build配character这样用的！以前没用过，快点发条微博记下来！然后direct又是一个名词进行了动词化，让在场的老少英雄，不禁嘴又张大了一圈！最后的一个orientation就已经该引得满堂彩了，但是作者竟然又加了一个future进行限定，竟然让几个刚脱了开裆裤的孩童惊讶的阴湿了裤子。
最后一句，就更是精彩！优秀范例The career courses function as a guide to our futurejob selection, universities should pay sufficient attention toit.对比平庸范例Working preparing class is useful to our job selection,university should pay moreattention.在这里，优秀范例的function名词进行了动词化，很漂亮！有其优势as aguide而没有直接用guide，使得整个句子文绉绉的，接下来作者还扔出了future jobselection，其实job换用career也可以，但是也无伤大雅，只是能用了select的名词，在这里是能看出作者的匠心的，然后作者没有单纯地用一个payattention草草了事，而是错落有致的插入了sufficient和toit，使得整个的句子细节非常的饱满。词，真的不难，但是组合起来之后，真的是数月之后余音仍旧绕耳不绝。
2013年12月
无老师优秀范例：First of all, good friend will share every detail of thejourney with you: your excitement, your satisfaction, yourtiredness and even the unpleasant little quarrel you had with theguy jumped the queue. He will teach you all the tricky poses tomake before a camera and then laugh at your funny face when goingthrough the pictures; he will tell you funny anecdotes about thesite and play little game with you when you are bored; he will lendyou a shoulder when you are tired and buy you a drink when you arethirsty. Even though he doesn’t offer any major help to your trip,he is there all the time, experiencing everything with you andtelling you by his accompany: you are not alone.
无老师优秀中文翻译：首先，好朋友会与你分享彼此旅行当中的细节：让你感到兴奋的，让你感到满意的；让你感到疲惫的，甚至是让你感到不快的与插队的人的小争吵。朋友将会教你所有可以在相机前做的很有趣的拍照姿势，然后在浏览相片的时候，会跟你一起嘲笑彼此的傻傻脸；朋友会给你讲这个遗迹的有趣的历史，当你无聊的时候，会给你外一些小游戏（解闷）；当你疲劳的时候，他会给你一副肩膀，当你口渴的时候给你买饮料。哪怕他不能给你提供任何重要的帮助，他（也会，无时不刻的）在你身边，跟你一起经历这一切，他的陪伴会让你知道：你并不孤单。
无老师平庸翻译：First, good friends will share detail of the trip:exciting, satisfaction, tiredness, and even the unhappiness thatargue with a person who jumps the queue. Friends will tell youfunny pose which you can make in front of the camera, and he willlaugh you silly face when you review the photos; friends will tellyou a funny story about the site, when you are boring, and he willgive you a little game; when you are tired, he will give you ashoulder; when you are thirsty, he will buy you a drink. Eventhough he can not give you any help, he will be with you, willexperience everything, it will tell you that you are not alone.
不知道各位小伙伴看平庸翻译的时候，有没有睡着，不过无老师真的是快睡着了，写得实在是太平了，几乎就是流水账。不过有了平庸范例的点缀，我们反过头来，再来欣赏一下优秀范例，就会发现，优秀范例的优点一定不是在于句型，仅就句型来说，这一段真的是没什么亮点，虽然有很长的并列，但是多样性并不好。
那么有这么大的缺点，就一定有更大的优点进行弥补，显然这个优点其实是两点，而且是相辅相成的两点。第一点是细腻的思维，细腻的思维，我们可以从作者的字里行间的细微程度可以看出来。第二点就是词汇量很丰富！这一点我们从jumpedthequeue，quarrel等词就看得非常的清楚了。而且思维细腻就可以引出丰富的词汇量，而词汇量丰富，就会显得细节特别的饱满！有一点点看小说的感觉，小伙伴们脑补一下《三体》里面无数的比喻，就清楚了。
首先第一句，优秀范例：First of all, good friend will share every detail of thejourney with you: your excitement, your satisfaction, yourtiredness and even the unpleasant little quarrel you had with theguy jumped the queue.对比平庸范例First, good friends will share detail ofthe trip: exciting, satisfaction, tiredness, and even theunhappiness that argue with a person who jumps thequeue.两句话相比，显然原作者的思维很细腻，因此由detail这个点就可以横向展开出excitement，satisfaction，tiredness以及unpleasantlittle quarrel，而且这里又同时通过quarrel和jumped thequeue，显示出作者丰富的阅读量，否则用不出来这样的选词。
第二句，优秀范例He will teach you all the tricky poses to make before acamera and then laugh at your funny face when going through thepictures对比平庸范例Friends will tell you funny pose which you can makein front of the camera, and he will laugh you silly face when youreview the photos。第一点，原作者的思维很细致，画面感很强，而且逻辑性很好，首先能想到trickyposes，其后顺势又能想到必然会有funny face与朋友来分享，虽然用词和句型都比较平，但是故事写的很生动和丰满。
第三句，优秀范例继续并列he will tell you funny anecdotes about the site andplay little game with you when you are bored; he will lend you ashoulder when you are tired and buy you a drink when you arethirsty.对比平庸范例friends will tell you a funny story about the site,when you are boring, and he will give you a little game; when youare tired, he will give you a shoulder; when you are thirsty, hewill buy you adrink.其实本菊花（句话）是上面一句话的延续，还是因为作者的笔触非常的细腻，因此能够设想出anecdotes、lend you ashoulder、以及thirsty。反过来再说句型有亮点么？没有。词汇亮点很多么？也不多，但是作者把细节写的很饱满，给自己增色不少！
最后一句，优秀范例Even though he doesn’t offer any major help to your trip,he is there all the time, experiencing everything with you andtelling you by his accompany: you are not alone.对比平庸范例Even thoughhe can not give you any help, he will be with you, will experienceeverything, it will tell you that you are notalone.在这句话里，显然优秀范例的major用的很好，显示这个帮助没有起到“关键”或者说“核心”作用，接下来的一句话he isthere all the time，仅就用词来说，平淡无奇，但是由于前面的majorhelp铺垫的很好，因此一种安全感扑面而来，用的是恰到好处！然后后面的with you and telling you by hisaccompany写到这，尤其是telling you by hisaccompany就有一点点生死相依的感觉了！“朋友情深“四个字的感觉浸透纸背。小伙伴们可以把Even though hedoesn’t offer any major help to your trip, he is there all thetime, experiencing everything with you and telling you by hisaccompany: you are not alone.这段话背下来，在朋友的作文题里，几乎是万用的！至于最后的you arenot alone.就是水到渠成，自然会有的了。
当然，最后无老师还会附上无老师作文巨讲堂使用指南。^_^
当我们来准备托福作文的时候，其实有一件很郁闷的事情，就是对于主观题，我们是缺乏一个判断标准的。这个标准，指的并不是官方指南上给我们的条条框框，那些条条框框对我们来说，几乎就是跟“我们要建设成为一个富强、民主、文明的社会主义强国”一样虚无缥缈，OG上的评分标准，我们感觉说的都对，只是我们就是不知道他在说什么。
因此，对于托福作文，我们其实最需要的是一个直观的优秀范例！你就告诉我托福作文要什么，这就够了！
奉天承运，无老师帮各位考友其实早就准备好了这份素材！这就是作文巨讲堂！名字很耀眼，是不是。^_^
其实无老师每个月放出的作文巨讲堂，就全都是满分作文的合集！这份作文巨讲堂，其实比市面上的作文书更有价值！因为这是真刀实枪的，考友们写出的作文。要知道，市面上的参考书，全都是一些英语很好的人写的，听上去是不错，但是你有没有想过托福考试的标准，真的是那样的么。举个例子吧。托福作文其实要求的，就是美国高中生毕业时候的高考的水平，你英语好，你有可能拿来的是散文，有可能拿来的是小说，亦或者拿来的是博士毕业论文。你们这些素材都很好，但是很遗憾，这不是我托福考试要的东西！
而且还有很重要的一点就是，没有任何一个东西是完美的！ETS也明确知道这一点！因此，这些满分作文，我们读的时候，就会发现，原来里面有各种各样的小错误。是的，这些也都只有在这些真实的作文之中才能看到！你看其他材料，根本就看不到ETS真正执行的标准！请注意，这一点非常重要！你说一千道一万，我们要的是ETS到底是什么口味！你ETS如果喜欢黑丝的，那么我的制服控，就一定会被退货！知道这一点非常重要！^_^
不仅如此，哪怕把一个好作文摆在我们身边，有的时候，我们也不知道这是一个好作文！要有比较，才知道什么叫“好”！为什么？想想《唐伯虎点秋香》里，巩俐阿姨的回眸一笑就知道了。
因此，我们还需要比较！还需要讲解！
是的，无老师很贴心的全都想到了！作文巨讲堂里面，还有普通范文，告诉你，一个20分上下的水平的时候，同样一句话，我们到底会用怎样索然无味的表达方式来写，而且无老师还会告诉你优秀作文，为什么会比这个平庸范文要好！很多时候，我们只是单纯的认为，字数多，分数就会高，实在是太幼稚了。
而且单纯的看，这是不行的，还要去仿写！因此，使用作文巨讲堂的时候，要遵循以下的步骤：
首先第一步，自然是要将这一期的作文巨讲堂通读3遍。因为人类有个问题，就是看过一遍就认为自己已经知道了，但是问题是看过之后我们只是知道这个故事的梗概，比如说我们都看过少年Pi，但是有几人能够不看原版，直接拍一个一模一样的少年Pi呢？
第二步：按照中文释义自己将其翻译成英文。因为只有自己将其翻译成英文，才能知道自己的写作能力是怎样的。在这里不要害怕已经将原文背下来了，如果你真的将原文一字不差的背下来了，那么我们的目的也就达到了。
第三步：按照一开始给的优秀中文范文，修改自己的文章，这里要修改用词，句子的结构，固定搭配，用优秀范文里的内容替换自己的平庸的用法。
第四步：随便找题目写2篇作文，尽量将优秀范例里面的元素用到自己的作文之中。
第五步：每周坚持至少写2篇，将优秀范例里的元素用到自己的作文之中，否则就遗忘了。
托福作文不接近满分，一定是之上的步骤做得不够！用功用的不够，自己将来是一定不会原谅自己的！托福作文满分的人，都推荐无老师作文巨讲堂！
