爱华网The summer of 2007 I will a wine red hair dye back to black again , put on black-rimmed eyes, bangs hanging out of his eyes , hidden a refusal posture.
My ears have 16 piercings , studded with 16 tiny sparkling earrings . My string of prayer beads worn on the left wrist , always talking about the Buddha . I have an ankle tattoo , black font is your last name.
Weeks , these marks , I am a man all the way , take care of , not lost .
I never seem to properly call you names , Zhou twilight morning , starting from the acquaintance , these three words are the reason my inner fear . Do you know the story , Marco Polo and Genghis Khan when talking about the world , Genghis Khan asked him , why do you never say it in your hometown Venice . Marco smiled and said , I'm afraid I say it 's not my after Venice .
I was so shy mood, so the approaching feeling Qingqie , so the hesitant .
I'm afraid once I say it, you are no longer my own secret. I'm afraid to lose people 's eyes to its original color and meaning.
I'm afraid many people Kensuke would disturb it , it will destroy it.
So I'm going to write down our story , pressed it in a drawer in the corner, let it go on forever so dusty , so that even if the end of life flesh demise , this love, or I am a man thing.
[ Two ]
In 2003 , when I was 16 years old , into the high one , when Hou I do not know you, all the tears and scars are not yet on stage, I do not know what kind of broke our hearts feel .
Midterm happens so unlucky when I was in high class session outside the classroom , more unfortunate is that I sit is your desk . Your desk arrogant close emoticons you and your girlfriend , her bright eyes white teeth smile, smile on your face is not deep , but with a deep cynicism and evil, facial features are unconventional and rebellious .
I'm staring at your picture look, I do not know why the face suddenly red.
You really look good, really really good . I do not know how to describe you , which normally are not enough adjectives seem to say all your beauty , I am just suddenly remembered a word , a lifelong mistake see Yang Guo . About you , I have heard some , school fearsome juvenile delinquents , all the teachers to mention you have a headache , but happens to have a rich and powerful father, so even if you go to school for one week not three days of school are well on your helpless.
I rushed to finish the papers , got up to go to an assignment , when that something is wrong , looked down , my pants do not know how else sticking a big lump of chewing gum, I was shocked, subconsciously pull by hand , which under even worse , which makes the whole pants are everywhere , seeing these pants gave completely ruined , I was so angry tears almost fall.
Readily open your drawer having a bit of something to use , but to see you leave note saying a word, chewing gum taste good ? Beside a picture of a very Qianbian smile, I knew you were deliberately fix your seat person. I can only sigh , pants remnants gift you gave me to pay the volume.
By the way , I put you and your vengeful girlfriend emoticons to tear down into her purse , Zhou twilight morning , do not blame me itchy , I know that your girlfriend has gone abroad , every day you can only with photos miss him, but who told you to dirty my favorite pair of pants yet.
Master said , good for evil , why at Germany . So, you heartless , I unrighteousness.
I really did not think you actually order a photograph found in our class , you are standing in the doorway when I called out the eyes of the whole class just like dozens of branch light bulb shot in my face , I saw everyone faces are filled with curiosity , who do not understand how I always behave like people will tell you something to do .
I go slow when your palms are sweating nervously , after all these years I remember had the kind of apprehension, there is little expectation carries ambivalence .
You looked at me for a long time, I promise you with innocent eyes visitation , we who do not speak, October has been chilly wind , my hair was blown mess , you suddenly laughed, you ask I am , you're Linzhuo Yi ? I nodded, then asked you that chewing gum is that you enjoy ? I nod, you smile deeper, did not get clean ? I shook my head , how can not get rid , you've come to pay me money to do ? I did not think how , phrase seemingly ordinary words make you laugh for so long, I look in your eye brow is filled with joy , as if I said a worldwide funniest joke you reach out my hand to play forehead, Lin Zhuoyi , I never knew what it means lost . In addition, the fact you can put pants into refrigerator for several hours , such as chewing gum froze easily able to get down.
I stupidly "Oh," a cry , you have deeply looked at me, did not say anything , then left . I was about a big relief and turned things you say , you take that picture ...... to be a memorial .
Honestly, I was really dislike to see you , ah, do you think you're a star , but also to be a memorial .
[ Three ]
Could not say why the day to see you fight when I will stop and look , I have always been such a scene is taken to be shunned attitude , I say do not know why, when you are being attacked from behind , I would not hesitate to rush to go for a beer bottle you block that , when those people Zuoniaoshousan when you hold me as if I were about to Sashourenhuan like hoarse shout , Lin Zhuoyi , you do not scare me.
I pushed hard , but if you push a bunch of cotton -like impossible in a little effort , I want to ask you not yelling so badly, but the words did not say it felt a warm drum flowing down from the forehead , you use hand over my wounds , I feel that you are shaking the whole person , and you said in my ear , you 'll be fine , I promise.
You take a few people come to me to apologize when my head still bandaged like a mummy , I'm covered in bruises looked confused one they humbly apologize to me , your eyes reveals a clear and windy sharp, they're gone then I ask you, they are beaten yet ? You light a cigarette to smoke , white Marlboro , you back to me, I can not see your face , but your voice has extraordinary indifference , you say, be a light hit them , I would also like kill them .
You turned back to look like a naughty child , you say , come, little beauty , you wronged , I sacrifice points let you share point cheap bar . You put me on the side of his mouth into the arms of drag . At the time you how much taller than me , anyway, my ear against your chest can just hear your heart beating , I felt my face has Huoshaohuoliao , your chin knock on my head , I smell your body has a faint fragrance, you said wistfully , Why did you ...... if not finished, I rush to answer , I do not know ah.
I really do not know why I would Qudang for you , but if the clock back , I think even if it was a bullet , and I still will still desperate rush , the kind of strong and steadfast strength, I say do not know what it is.
To long, long time before I knew the name of that power , called love.
But then you simply refer to it as impulsive, you hold me say that this will not be so impulsive. I foolishly should you do not know how to defend themselves , twilight morning , how do you know the moment I have much courage , and later lied to family members how to lie full origins of this wound , how to see that we embrace in the hallway teacher explain our relationship.
The office of the teacher , the teacher in a Sorrow Blame looked at me , and I looked at her stubborn , I said we really just friends . She said that if this is true , then why should it hold together . Everyone in the office staring at me , I was startled overwhelmed , do not know how to speak.
After a long, my plodding tread out of the office , in your classroom door waiting for me to see you when I try to squeeze a smile , apart from anything else you took my hand away, I did do not ask, quietly follow you along the way , and you took me to a bar. Afternoon when no one bar , the waiter stood an old song , Faye Wong's " Wake up ," she ethereal voice singing hundred thousand turn back :
Want to follow you forever
At least this is not the reality of the world
Want to depend on you forever
Do your feelings in the last one angel
If you wake up Shihai together
Please allow us to each other
You bow my head to drink Jack Daniels , I drank Smurfs , you say this is not the wine is sparkling water , why I feel a urge to cry yet. You held my hand called also clear , that the girl has been in the Atlantic , has a charming smile that girl, you ask me why I want to betray you .
Suddenly my head hurts , I think some things may really I misunderstood . Outside the sun is very bright , I went to a place to sell earring piercing , I wear a 16 pierced ears, even the cochlea and tragus did not let go , looks like scarred heart. The next day you came to me , looking at my swollen like a pig -like ears curious to ask why , you're drunk you do not remember what happened after .
I smiled, did not speak .
[ Four ]
Rumors about our Everyone in school has become a staple of the talk , there are friends to ask me exactly what is the relationship with you , and I stared at them, innocent eyes than anyone else . I am not installed, twilight morning , I want to know what is the relationship we have , we are from ambiguous so close, but so far away from love .
You always call me a little beauty , or Linzhuo Yi , but I hear it is also clear to you when you call to Sue called her darling.
Dear, intimate love, I seem to have from that appellation million years light years away .
You're still good to me, when I called April Fool lie to you that I was hit by a car lying in the hospital , you hang up the phone came to hospitals edgy , but see , I laugh , I bounced you said before , Zhou twilight morning , April Fool's Day fun. The thought that you would play the middle finger on my forehead , but you just looked at me , his face ashen , silent.
I am afraid you do not know how you look terrible silence , as if suddenly clear sky overcast black, all the colors faded to gray at the moment .
I went to shake your arm , you forced to throw off me. My pathetic behind you tell you you do not talk to me, I do not know how, just a joke, do you really want to see me lying on the emergency room do . I do not know how long, you finally come around to see me, my pale , the body braving sweating, hair wet ride in the forehead, the portrait a broken kite .
You were scared me , you asked if I was anxious not uncomfortable , I was in the moment you open beaming smile , you're not angry enough . You looked at me , his eyes twinkling with something , as bright as Venus .
Crowded joints, steady stream of vehicles , neon scratch quiet of the night sky , we have followed a noisy sound serious dialogue . You say, also came back clear this afternoon that I promised to pick her up , but you called to say I immediately rushed to the scene of the accident , I did not think you lied to me.
I can not suppress the tears fall , I'm sorry , I did not mean .
You sighed , frowning pat my head , well , all right, you're a child, I should not blame you .
I put your hand pull the cover over my face , my tears fall entirely on your palm . At least once , is not it , at least this is to choose the first time you came to see me , as long as there is a relation feel satisfied, it should be so be it. My voice so hoarse, but that calm tone , Zhou twilight morning , you told me you move through the heart , even for a minute like me?
I say these words when the wearer 's eyes staring at you , you look me quite a while , and then head to one side . I clearly hear you say , I'm sorry , I'm sorry .
Shared Apr. God, why do I feel the cold wind penetrated the bone marrow , they are actually my own illusions , they are actually wishful misunderstanding.
You seem to be crying because I , I look at you look anxious but relieved, I'm not upset , because I like you, I am better than anyone in the world to be like you, I love the world more than any one Yeah people should be more like you .
Your face becomes so strange , never seen you look so sad , usually laughing mouth mouth hanging a sad arc, you put beads on his wrist to take down outrageous worn on my wrist, then adjust the tightness , you get these side his mouth , this is my mother was alive when I begged to help maintain peace , and now I gave you , you gave me honest wear , never allowed to take down .
I finally wow is heard crying, my pierced ears are inflamed , 16 holes of pain to remind me 16 years old this year , love, and not .
[ Five ]
Su also more beautiful than the pictures I Ching , I see you walking together holding hands will remember a word : they are gray servant servant of the crowd , the only person wearing a red dress . You really look good , then you call me little beauty when I am very guilty, said the experience of life difficult for water , with beautiful women like her in the side, where also my other Yongzhisufen got into your stuff.
She came back to visit the school teachers , there are many low- older sister went to look after hearing the news that the legendary history of the school 's most talented beauty, teachers are cooing to her , just turn around would sigh Why such a good girl with you. You are not in the traditional sense has always been a good boy, but you are an obedient child . Long after I knew from others , the Soviet Union is also clear is your mom 's favorite girl, and you do not want to go against the wish weep , so even if she was in a foreign country who betrayed you , you still choose her instead of me.
I know , opportune not only joy , as well as miss and regret. Such as you and me.
You ask a lot of people at night to eat , and you called me , and I refused to go to live or die . You over the phone was silent for a long time , then pressing muffled figure , said Lin Zhuoyi , even if I'm begging you . Are you a say so I'll Diukuiqijia , but what I could not eat at the dinner table , but also sunny looked at me , eyes some suspicion, I have teeth dress terribly guilty for what did not .
She told me to go with her halfway across the street pharmacies buy stomach, she casually asked me to pay when there is no change, I hastened to open their wallets turn , in the moment I opened the wallet I know I made a mistake, you pictured in my wallet 's stood upright , the photo looks like two people love each other , my spectator instant become a clown .
I was the first actress , and I want the heroine is not the time to add a little scenes, but the director said , the script already written. Actress back, play it ended up .
Her face was carrying a light , I can not see her face , that she had asked me , do you like him ? But no use, your favorite is not the outcome . I laughed, I like him is my own thing, to what results .
You let me know , love can be never forgotten , never give up love can be , sometimes , love can be a human thing.
Also clear to me that picture , I hesitated whether or not to pay out, her sentence shattered my hesitation , she said , not nostalgia , and he told me to go abroad this year , and I this is for Hello , completely dead the heart was not sad.
I froze , followed, deep in the heart there is severe colic, ear has a huge roar , as if there is a big hand strangling my throat, unable to pronounce a voice. I do not know how long before I recover , but sounds strange that even themselves do not know , throat repeatedly vice covered with the dust , in that case , the picture on the left to me to be a memorial .
Night in the bar y'all get together to drink, I want a lot of Long Island Iced Tea . I always thought it was tea, because I do not want to get drunk talking nonsense , but I know that you'll feel a few glasses of Long Island iced tea is not tea , it is the wine . All memories are bubbling to the surface of the water , I still clearly remember the first time you came to me , his face, asked me if I was Linzhuo Yi , Hou then I do not think you are rumors in the unruly boys , you are so good, warm smile like a winter afternoon sun , reaching depths of the soul .
You came to see me, I laugh at you eyes are hazy , left the silver cylinder shine tonight , still fear Encounter is a dream . You say, you're drunk . But I know I'm not drunk , I'm awake than ever , I am exposed ankle trousers rolled up to you , a black week .
Honey, this is your last name , my story.
It was the last time you appeared at my side , three days later, you and Su Qing also boarded an aircraft to Bordeaux . You finally completely left me.
[ Six ]
After you go I'll shut ourselves up, I can not like anyone , and you seem to be a specimen , frozen in turpentine Lane became a glistening amber .
I'm all the way to grow , gradually lost the original clarity , but you gave me the imprint , I still have it.
In the summer of 2007 while listening to me , " wake up " while in line to see you and also sunny engagement photos , you were wearing very ordinary clothes , but there are two interlocking fingers shimmering rings.
I love to smoke Marlboro while you think of some things .
Let time back to 2003 that afternoon , you take me to the bar for a drink , you want a Jack Daniels , I want a soda. Later, you drink a lot, theosophy gradually blurred , you also think of me as a sunny, you grabbed me and asked why I want to betray you . Are you drunk really big effort , I totally can not break free , and then you take me back to your house .
Yes, in your home , you 've done something like that . But you did not even remember who I am , you call me , but also clear , but also sunny .
From your home and then I went out wearing pierced ears, my face as well as shy and thrown red tide , my most precious to me like most people , I do not think you have to be responsible to me , my own things themselves. I wear a 16 pierced ears, on behalf of my 16 years old know you, I put the best years unto thee.
Then on April Fools Day , I called to the hospital to pick me tell you , you see me standing in front of you safe and sound furious , because I'm taking you to pick up also clear . I'm behind you chase it , feel about to die immediately , but fortunately you did not even angry with me up .
Are you angry so terrible , so I will never tell you the day I actually went to the hospital for a surgery. What kind of surgery , that is, it can not have a baby born to do surgery. I said , I do own responsibility , and I really do not blame you, what's wrong with it, are my own willing ah.
After you put the beads I think you gave me is really good for me , so I went to tattoos, much deliberation it was decided a stab your last name , a simple one word is all my love.
Time will gradually buried these secrets , and all my hope is that you get a sense of happiness Nana . I found you through a variety of methods blogs every day peeping your life. Every time I see your blog when I have been smoke Marlboro , I learned from a friend in France knew it another one called women love men forget .
Your life really calm ah , but the nearest one log cried you let me see , it was a roll call to answer questions of the game , the last question is that you said this life what is the biggest lie . Your answer is , a girl asked me if I liked her, I said I'm sorry.
The real answer is two words , I love her.
