爱华网笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。下面是小编带来的短小精悍的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!
短小精悍的英语笑话精选
Boy, Oh Boy
When they're together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. "All right, you two," I said sternly. "No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting."
As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, "C'mon, Steven, let's get dirty . "
Notes:
(1) tend to(do)倾向;趋向
(2) mayhem n.大混乱;大灾害
(3) put one's foot down开始抗议
(4) sternly adv.严厉地
(5) whine v.哭闹
(6) tease v.取笑
(7) tattle v.扯淡
Exercises:
根据短文回答下列问题：
① How old is the son?
② What do they tend to do when the son and his cousin are together?
③ What does "Put one's foot down" mean here?
④ Did the boy obey the father's order?
⑤ What did they do then?
61.让人无奈的孩子
我五岁的儿子和他的表弟在一起的时候，总要招来大乱。一个星期六，我开始抗议了。“好啦，你们两个，”我严厉地说，“不许叫喊，不许乱拿，不许哭闹，不许乱敲，不许取笑，不许扯淡，不许弄坏玩具，不许乱抓，不许打架。”
我刚转身要走，就听我儿子说：“来，斯蒂文，我们来把自己弄脏吧。”
练习参考答案：
① Five.
② They tend to cause mayhem.
③ it means "to make up one's mind to stop sth from happening".
④ No, he didn't
⑤ They began to get dirty.
短小精悍的英语笑话阅读
I Cant Let Him Get Away
A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get away .So they got married immediately.
The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. "What happened?" she asked. "You used to walk straight before we were married."
"Oh, honey, " he replied, "I can't drink that much every day.
Notes:
(1) crab n.螃蟹
(2) sideways adv.侧着;斜着
Exercises:
根据短文判断下列句子正(T)、(F)：
① The female crab liked the male crab at her first sight.
② The female crab noticed that the male crab was walking sideways when she first met him.
③ The female crab agreed to marry the male crab because she considered him special.
④ The male crab walked straight only because he got drunk.
⑤ The moral of the story is that we should not judge a person so quickly.
62.不能让他跑了
一只雄蟹遇到一只雌蟹，便要娶她为妻。她注意到他走路是直着走，而不是横着走。哇!她想，这只雄蟹可真特别，我可不能让他跑了。因此他们立刻结婚了。
第二天，她又发现她的新郎像其他蟹一样横着走路了。她深感不安。“你怎么了?”她问，“我们结婚前你可是直着走路的。”
“哦，宝贝，”他回答说，“我不可能每天都喝那么多。”
练习参考答案：
①T②F③T④T⑤T
短小精悍的英语笑话学习
A Hasty Interruption
The fine-furniture store where I work has been in business since the 1920s.Recently I received a call from a woman who wanted to replace some chairs from a dining set purchased from us in the 1930s.I assured her we could help and sought the assistance of the office manager. "You'll never believe this one, " I told him." I just got a call from a customer who bought some chairs from us in the 1930s. "
Before I could finish repeating her request, he interrupted and said, "Don't tell me she hasn't received them yet!"
Notes:
(1) replace v.更换;替换
(2) purchase v.购买
(3) assure v.有信心地说
(4) seek v.寻求
(5) assistance n.帮助
Exercises:
根据短文选择正确答案：
① Since when has the fine-furniture store been in business?
A. since the 1910s
B. since the 1920s
C. since the 1930s
D. since the 1940s
② When did the woman customer buy the chairs in the store?
A. in the 1910s
B. in the 1920s
C. in the 1930s
D. in the 1940s
③ What did the woman customer want to do?
A. She wanted to return the chairs.
B. She wanted to sell the chairs.
C. She wanted to replace the chairs.
D. She wanted to repair the chairs.
④Purchase " in " a dining set purchased from us" means _____.
A. to sell
B. to replace
C. to buy
D. to return
⑤ Why did the office manager interrupt before the man finished?
A. Because he thought it impossible for the woman not to have received the chairs.
B. Because he was angry with the poor efficiency of the store.
C. Because he was bad tempered.
D. Because he had something else to do at the moment.
63.匆忙的打断
我所工作的精品商店是从二十年代以来就营业的。最近我接到一个妇女的电话。她想换一套餐具中的一些椅子。这套餐具她是在三十年代从我们这儿买的。我向她保证说我们可以帮忙并向部门经理提了出来。“你永远也不会相信，”我对他说，“我刚接到一个顾客的电话，她在三十年代从我们这里买了一些椅子。”
我还没来得及说她的要求，经理就打断了我的话：“不要告诉我她到现在还没收到货!”
练习参考答案：
①B②C③C④C⑤A
