爱华网笑话是幽默的一个属概念 ,具有幽默的一切特征。笑话是民族特有幽默的一种形式。下面是小编带来的让人冷到不行的英语冷笑话，欢迎阅读!
让人冷到不行的英语冷笑话篇一
Where Do You keep Yours?
你的东西放到哪儿去了?
The famous but rather aged, doctor was making his rounds, followed by a young intern.
一位上了年纪的著名医生正在各病房做例行巡视，一位年轻的实习医生跟着他。
Suddenly the intern noticed something peculiar.
突然那名实习医生注意到一件怪事。
"Say, doctor, are you aware that you have a suppository behind your ear?"
“医师先生，您有没发现您耳朵放了一支栓剂呢?"
"Oh, shit!" exclaimed the eminent practitioner.
“喔!真是糟糕!”那位名医说道。
"Do you know what this means?"
“你知道那表示什么吗?”
"What?"
“什么呢?”
"Some asshole has got my pen!"
“我把我的钢笔塞到某一位病人的屁股里面去了!”
让人冷到不行的英语冷笑话篇二
Play Now Pay Later
先享受后付款
Jack the playboy had explored every corner of the world and dallied with many women,
花花公子杰克喜欢到世界各地探险，和许多妓女风流，
but in Hong Kong he finally encountered a professional girl who left him with far more thanfond memories.
但在香港，他终于遇到一名职业神女，这名神女留给他的不止是温柔的回忆而已。
First, he consulted a British doctor.
首先他请教了一名英国医生。
"Good Lord!" exclaimed the medic,
“我的天啊!”医生叫道，
"you've got more venereal diseases than a medical textbook. I'm afraid we' re going to have toamputate. "
“你所患的性病比一本医学教科书还要丰富，恐怕我们必须把你的东西切除掉。”
Horrified, the playboy sought out an American specialist, who shook his head gravely and said,
花花公子心生恐惧，便找了一位美国专科医师帮忙，但那名专科医师表情凝重地摇头说：
"Sorry, son; if we don't amputate your member, the disease will spread to your other organs. "
“对不起，小兄弟，如果我们不切除那活儿，病毒将会感染到其他器官。”
Desperately, the swinger consulted a Chinese herbalist.
那名风流公子走投无路，便向一位中医请教。
The wise old man examined the patient carefully and nodded his head sagely.
这位充满智慧的老先生仔细检查病人后煞有介事地点头说道：
"I know your problem," he said. "You play with bad girl, she very sick, now you very sick. "
“我知道你的问题。你和坏女人乱搞，她的性病很严重，你现在的病情也很严重。
“Doctor, the British and American doctors told me my pride and joy would have to be cut off... "
“大夫，英国和美国的医生都说我的东西必须要切除……”
"These Western doctors, all they want to do is cut, cut, cut, and charge big money. "
“这些西医所做的就是切，切，切，然后收一大笔钱。”
"You mean I don't need surgery? ! " exclaimed the young man joyously.
“你意思是我可以不用动外科手术?!”年轻人喜出望外地问道。
"Don't you worry, " said the ancient practitioner.
“别担心，”老中医师说：
"You go home, relax, wait two, three weeks, pecker fall off by himself."
“回家去，好好休息一阵，等二三个星期后，那活儿会自己掉下来。”
让人冷到不行的英语冷笑话篇三
We're in the Same Boat
同病相怜
The young man was terribly self-conscious because he had a wooden eye.
一位年轻人因为他有只木制的眼睛而感到非常自卑。
His friends would often invite him to dance parties,
他的朋友常会邀请他参加舞会，
but he could never work up the courage to ask a girl to dance.
但他从没能鼓起勇气邀请女孩子跳舞。
But then, one evening, he spotted a girl With a wooden leg sitting sadly by herself.
有一晚，他却不经意看见一位装了一只木制义肢的女孩独自伤心地坐在角落。
Apprehensively, he walked up to her and asked,
他很谨慎地走向她问道：
"Would you like to dance?"
“你要不要跳舞呀?”
"Would I? ! " she exclaimed.
“我要不要? ”她惊叫。
"Oh, yeah? Well, you've got a wooden leg!"
“哦，怎么了?你有一只木制的义肢(而我有一只木制的假眼，咱们应是天生的一对嘛!)。”
让人冷到不行的英语冷笑话篇四
And Modest Too
也要谦虚为怀
"The man I marry must be as wise as Solomon,
“我要结婚的对象必须要像所罗门王一样聪明，
as mighty as Hercules,
像赫克力士一样强壮，
as brave as Admiral Nelson,
像纳尔逊上将一样英勇，
and as graceful as Nureyev. "
并和苏联芭蕾舞蹈家诺瑞耶夫一样优雅。”
"How fortunate we met! "
“很幸运能见到你!”
让人冷到不行的英语冷笑话篇五
It's the Law
这是个法律问题
A slender, delicate, immaculately dressed Englishman was explaining to the visiting American about British law.
一位身材修长，举止文雅，穿着光鲜的英国人向来访的美国人解释英国法律。
"You know, homosexuality was once considered so heinous in Britain that it was punishable by execution.
“你知道吗?在英国，同性恋从前被认为是罪大恶极，可判处极刑，
Only 100 years ago, it was reduced to a misdemeanor,
一百年前，被减为行为失检之轻微罪刑。
and about 50 years ago, decriminalized altogether...
大约五十年前则完全不触犯刑法……。
Personally, I shan't be satisfied till it's mandatory! "
不过就我个人而言，非要等到法令强制大家都得同性恋时，我才会开心。”
