爱华网经常看看笑话,不仅能放松、舒缓我们紧张的心灵,也能培养我们活泼、开朗的性格和机智、大度的品质,更能受益于我们的学习。下面是小编带来的爆笑版英语小笑话，欢迎阅读!
爆笑版英语小笑话篇一
我没有蛀牙 I have No Cavities
A smiling boy arrived home from a dental visit,"Hey mom,the dentist says I have no cavities. "
His mom stared at him wide-eyed and quite surprised,"It’s impossible --you never brush your teeth after cleaning the chocolate box before you go to bed!
Then the boy opened his mouth --he had not a tooth left!
小男孩儿看完牙医，面带微笑地回到家：“嘿，妈妈，牙医说，我一颗蛀牙也没有。”
妈妈惊讶地瞪大眼睛：“不可能——你每回上床睡觉前都把巧克力盒子里的糖一下子吃完，而且从来不刷牙!”
这时，男孩儿张开了嘴巴——他的牙全被拔光了。?
爆笑版英语小笑话篇二
相亲 A blind date
After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date.
和相亲对象呆了一晚上后，男人再也受不了了。
Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.
他事先安排了个朋友给他打电话，这样他就能借故先离开了。
When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died."
当他回到桌边，他垂下眼睛，装出一副阴沉的表情，说：“有个不幸的消息，我的祖父刚刚去世了。”
"Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"
“谢天谢地!”他的约会对象说，“如果你的祖父不死，我的祖父就得死了!”
爆笑版英语小笑话篇三
其余的事由我负责 I'll See to the Rest
A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage.
一位车上的列车员刚发出信号让火车启动，这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边，跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话。
"Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!"
“快点，小姐!”他喊道：“请把门关上。”
"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back.
“噢，我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。”她回答道。
"You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."
“请把门关上好了，”列车员说：“其余的事由我负责。”
爆笑版英语小笑话篇四
小心有狗!
Beware of Dog!As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning, "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" he asked the owner. "Yep, that's him," came the reply. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner explained, "Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him!"
一名陌生人走进一家乡间小商店，看到玻璃门上帖着的一个告示牌上写着，“危险! 小心有狗!” 进去后，他看到一条样子一点都不凶的老狗趴在收款机旁边的地板上睡觉。 “这就是大伙都得留神的那只狗啊?” 陌生人问店主。“是，就是他”，店主回答。 听到这个回答， 陌生人觉得很好笑。“我觉得那条狗一点都不可怕。 你帖那个告示做什么?” “因为，” 店主解释说，“在我帖告示之前， 大伙老被他绊倒。”
爆笑版英语小笑话篇五
你太晚了You Are Too Late
On the bus a man discovered a pickpocket's hand thrust into his pocket.
"sorry," he said to the pickpocket, "you are too late. My wife did it before you."
在公共汽车上一人发现一个小偷把手伸到了他的口袋里。
“对不起，”他对小偷说，“你太晚了，我妻子在你之前就做过同样的事情了。”
