冷笑话是近几年出现的一个新词,也是一种出现在我们身边的不可忽视的新的语言现象,它具有强大的生命力,一时间大红大紫,广泛流行于互联网、论坛、博客、电子邮件、电视综艺节目、喜剧电影、书籍、杂志等媒体中。本文是有关好笑的英语笑话,希望对大家有帮助!
有关好笑的英语笑话篇一
The Time
BLONDE: Excuse me, what time is it right now?
WOMAN: It's 11:25 PM.
BLONDE: (confused look on face) You know, it's the weirdest1 thing, I've asked that question thirty times today, and every time someone gives me a different answer.
有关好笑的英语笑话篇二
Boyfriend Upgrade
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and HouseCleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
Desperate
Dear Desperate,
Keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Try to enter the command: "C:/ I THOUGHT YOU LOVEDME" and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0.
But remember, over use can cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, HappyHour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create "Snoring Loudly" wavefiles.
DO NOT install MotherInLaw 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance.
I personally recommend HotFood 3.0 and Lingerie 5.3
Tech Support
有关好笑的英语笑话篇三
"I no longer looker look like an old lady," said Sophia to her husband now busy solving a cross-word puzzle by the fire.
She had just been to her hairdresser and looked quite a different person.
The fellow lifted his head and muttered under his breath: "That's quite true, darling. You don't look like an old lady at all."
"And what do I look like?" insisted the lady blushing prettily.
"You look like an old gentleman."
“我看起来不再像个老太太了。”索菲亚对她正在火炉前玩填字游戏的丈夫说。
她刚去过美发店,现在看起来完全像变了一个人。
那个老家伙抬起头嘟囔着说:“一点儿不错,亲爱的。你看起来一点也不像个老妇人。”
“那我看起来像什么呢?”这位女士害羞地问道。
“你看起来像个老绅士。”
有关好笑的英语笑话篇四
An ingenious idea 一个好办法
A man told the doctor that his wife had lost her voice and asked what he could do about it.
The doctor said, "Try getting home late some night. It's good method."
有个人对医生说他的妻子不说话了,问他该怎么办。
医生说:“你试试哪天晚上很晚才回家吧。这是个好办法。”
有关好笑的英语笑话篇五
No matter 没关系
A well-dressed woman got on a bus. She handed a ten-dollar note to the drive and said: "Sorry, I have no nickels."
The driver took the note and said: "It doesn't matter, lady, You would soon get back 199 nickels."
一个穿着很考究的女人上了 一部公共汽车。她拿出一张10美元的钞票给司机,说:“对不起,我没有硬币。”
司机接过钞票时说:“没关系,太太,你很快就会取回199个硬币的。”