爱华网近年来,冷笑话在电视媒体以及网络上广为流传,带来了一场崭新的语言风暴。本文是简单的英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助!
简单的英语笑话：Doctor doctor collection
Doctor Doctor I think I'm a moth.
So why did you come around then?
Well, I saw this light at the window...!
Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee
Have you tried taking the spoon out?
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a spoon!
Well sit still and don't stir!
Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.
I'll deal with you later.
Doctor, Doctor Have you got something for a bad headache?
Of course. Just take this hammer and hit yourself in the head. Then you'll have a bad headache.
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking there is two of me
One at a time please
Doctor, Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots?
I never make rash promises!
简单的英语笑话：The Goldfish and the Cat
Little Amy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered(凝视，窥视) over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was doing, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Amy?"
"My goldfish died," replied Amy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Amy patted down the last heap(堆，许多) of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat."
简单的英语笑话：Tragedy
George W. Bush visits an elementary school and the 4th grade class is in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks the President if he would like to lead the class in a discussion of the word "tragedy." So George W. asks the class for an example of a tragedy.
One boy stands up and says, "If my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street and a car comes along and runs him over, that would be a tragedy."
"No," says Bush, "that would be an accident."
A girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains the President. "That's what we would call a Great Loss."
The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. President Bush searches the room and asks, "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally, in the back of the room, Johnny raises his hand and in a quiet voice he says, "If Air Force One, carrying Mr. and Mrs. Bush, was struck by a missile and blown up to smithereens(碎片) , that would be a tragedy."
"That's right! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?" asks the President.
"Well," Johnny says, "because it wouldn't be an accident and it sure as hell(很，非常) wouldn't be a Great Loss."
简单的英语笑话：I know who god is
我知道上帝是谁了
A boy says to her mother, Mom, is God a man or woman?
The mom thinks a while and says, Well, son, God is both man and woman.
The son is confused, so he asks, Is God black or white?
The mother replies, God is both black and white, honey.
The son, still curious, says after a while, Is God gay or straight, mommy?
The mother, getting a little worried, answers, Son, God is both gay and
straight.
The son thinks about it, and his face lights up when he thinks he finally has answered his question: Is God Michael Jackson?
儿子：妈妈，上帝是白人还是黑人?
妈妈：宝贝，上帝是白人也是黑人!
儿子：那上帝是男人还是女人?
妈妈：宝贝，上帝是男人也是女人!
儿子：哦。我知道了，上帝是迈克尔·杰克逊!
简单的英语笑话：The Things Kids Say
童言无忌
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice,"Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't, dear." She said, "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
Along silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."
一个夏季的晚上，雷雨大作，母亲让小男孩上床钻进被窝。她正准备熄灯，孩子声音颤抖地问：“妈咪，你今晚可以陪我睡吗?”
母亲笑着，拥抱一下小孩安慰说，“亲爱的，不可以。我得睡在爸爸的房间。”一阵长长的沉默之后，男孩小声地用颤音说：“重色轻友。”
