爱华网在交际场合,能恰到好处地讲个英语笑话或自创一个幽默,不仅可以体现自己的语言水平,还可以提升个人魅力。小编精心收集了有关简短英文笑话，供大家欣赏学习!
有关简短英文笑话：Magic Cure
Two nurses are giving a woman in a coma1 a sponge bath. They notice that when they get near her private areas that she starts to get a little stimulated2. The theorize that oral sex will bring her out the coma. They go out into the lobby and tell her husband their theory. The husband is a little aprehensive about it at first, but he agrees to do it. The nurses leave the man with his wife and give him some privacy. They come back about 10 minutes later and the woman is dead! "What happened?" asks one of the nurses. The man replies, "I dont know...I think she choked."
有关简短英文笑话：At The Dentist
A man and wife entered a dentist's office.
The Wife said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible."
You're a brave woman said the dentist. Now, Show me which tooth it is.
The wife turns to her husband and says "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear."
有关简短英文笑话：Purifying Water
A train hits a bus load of nuns and they all perish. They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St.Peter. He asks the first nun, "Sister Karen have you ever had any contact with a penis???"
The nun giggles and replies, "Well, once I touched the head of one with the tip of my finger."
St Peter says OK, dip the tip of your finger in the holy water and pass through the gate.
St Peter asks the next nun the same question. "Sister Elizabeth have you ever had any contact with a penis.."
The nun is a little reluctant but reply's
"Well I once fondled and stroked one..
St Peter says, "OK dip your hand in the holy water and pass through the gate..."
All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the
line of nuns. One nun is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front of the line St Peter says "Sister, what seems to be the rush???"
The nun replys "If I'm going to have to gargle that holy water, I want to go before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!!!"
有关简短英文笑话：Under The Table
John and Mary were having dinner in a very fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away, noticed that John was ever so slowly sliding down his chair under the table while Mary acted unconcerned.
Their waitress watched as John slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, Mary appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that John had disappeared under the table.
After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman,
"Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."
The woman calmly looked up and replied firmly, "Oh, no. He did not. In fact, he just walked in the front door."
有关简短英文笑话：Advice For Women
Advice From Men To Women...
Never buy a 'new' brand of beer because 'it was on sale.'...
If we're in the backyard and the TV in the den is on, that doesn't mean we're not watching it....
Don't tell anyone we can't afford a new car. Tell them we don't want one....
Whenever possible please try to say whatever you have to say during commercials....
Please don't drive when you're not driving....
Don't feel compelled to tell us how all the people in your stories are related to one another: We're just nodding, waiting for the punchline....
The quarterback who just got pummeled isn't trying to be brave. He's just not crying. Big difference!...
When the waiter asks if everything's okay, a simple 'Yes' is fine.
