英语笑话短文 有关于英语笑话小短文欣赏

英语冷笑话是近几年新兴的一种语言现象,它轻松诙谐、别具一格,给我们紧张的生活增添了几分轻松的情趣,它一出现便受到了大多数人的喜爱。小编精心收集了有关于英语笑话小短文,供大家欣赏学习!

有关于英语笑话小短文:Enlarging The Breast

A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks. One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in front of the mirror, now complaining that her breasts are too small.

The husband comes up with a suggestion. “If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper, and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds.”

Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. “How long will this take?” she asks.

“They’ll grow larger over a period of years,” he replies.

The wife stops. “Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?”

The husband shrugs. “Why not, it worked for your ass, didn't it?”

有关于英语笑话小短文:Using Vaseline

A woman answers the door to a market researcher. "Good morning madam, I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Do you use it at all in your household?"

"Oh yes, all the time. It's very good for cuts, grazes and burns."

"Do you use it for anything else?"

"Like what?"

"Ahem.. err.. well.. during.. ahem.. sex."

"Oh, of course. Yes, I smear it on the bedroom doorknob to keep my husband out!"

有关于英语笑话小短文:Stirring On Mars

The US finally sent the first manned space mission to Mars. The spacecraft gently touched down and the astronaut descended and tested the atmosphere. Low and behold it was safe for people to breathe. He removed his space suit and exited the spacecraft. He was amazed to find himself in a lush green valley surrounded with beautiful wooded hills. He hiked for some distance and came upon a beautiful little white cottage with a lush green lawn surrounded by a white picket fence like something out of Better Homes and Gardens. He walked up to the front door and found it open.

He walked inside, looked around and hearing noises from the kitchen, he went back there. WOW, to his amazement he saw the most beautiful blonde he had ever seenstanding over a large pot on the stove. Inside the pot was a gooey mess that she was stirring with a large spoon. As he watched she kept stirring and stirring.

After a couple hours he finally asked her what she was doing. She replied that she was having a baby. He was quite skeptical but after a couple more hours of stirring she reached down into the gooey mess and pulled out a beautiful baby girl. He told her that was really amazing but that was not the way it was done on Earth.

She asked, "How do you do it on Earth?"

With a twinkle in his eyes he said come on back to the bedroom and I'll show you. After an hour of the wildest sex he had ever experienced he lay back exhausted and lit up a cigarette.

"Well," she said, "where is the baby?"

He said "Oh, that takes nine months."

"Well why did you stop stirring?"

英语笑话短文 有关于英语笑话小短文欣赏

有关于英语笑话小短文:Extra Large Condoms

A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells size extra large condoms.

He replies, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?"

She responds, "No, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?"

有关于英语笑话小短文:Losing Virginity

Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and says, "Doc, I'm getting married this weekend and my fiance thinks I'm a virgin & I'm not! Is there anything you can do to help me?"

The doctor says, "Medically, no, but here's something you can try. On the wedding night, when you're getting ready for bed, take an elastic band and slide it to your upper thigh. When your husband puts it in, snap the elastic band and tell him it's your virginity snapping."

The woman loves this idea and knows her hubby will fall for this. They have a beautiful wedding and retire to the honeymoon suite. The wife gets ready for bed in the bathroom, slips the elastic band up her leg, finishes preparing and climbs into bed with her man.

Things begin to progress - her hubby "slips it in" and just then she snaps the elastic band. The hubby asks, "What the heck was that?"

The wife explains, "Oh nothing honey, that was just my virginity snapping."

The husband cries out, "Well snap it again, it's got my balls!"

  

爱华网本文地址 » http://www.413yy.cn/a/239061/98732693.html

更多阅读

关于雾霾的英语小短文 有关于gps的英语小短文

随着全球一体化的发展,我国急需高水平的外语人才。英语作为一门国际性语言,其地位的重要性不容忽视。小编整理了有关于gps的英语小短文,欢迎阅读!有关于gps的英语小短文篇一“Don't worry about it. I have your GPS co-ordinates fr

英语美文欣赏小短文 有关于英语故事短文欣赏

伴随经济全球一体化进程的不断加快,英语已经成为国际化的重点语言交流工具,全面提高学生的英语应用能力已经成为一种必然的发展需求。本文是有关于英语故事短文,希望对大家有帮助!有关于英语故事短文:A merchant 一个商人A merchan

英语美文欣赏小短文 有关于诚信的英语短文欣赏

诚信是高楼大厦的奠基石;诚信是市场交易的一杆秤;诚信是人生道路上的指南针。小编精心收集了有关于诚信的英语短文,供大家欣赏学习!有关于诚信的英语短文篇1When it es to honesty, quite a lot of people believe it is essential

关于诚信的小短文 有关于诚信的英语小短文

诚信是石,敲出星星之火;诚信是火,照亮夜行之路;诚信是路,引你走向黎明。小编整理了有关于诚信的英语小短文,欢迎阅读!有关于诚信的英语小短文篇一HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY 诚为上策There is an English proverb which says (sayin

英语笑话故事 有关于英语笑话故事阅读

笑话一般以短小的形式存在,喜剧性很强,常常可以让人哈哈大笑。小编精心收集了有关于英语笑话故事,供大家欣赏学习!有关于英语笑话故事:Sensory PerceptionA teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broadentheir

声明:《英语笑话短文 有关于英语笑话小短文欣赏》为网友屌丝男的梦分享!如侵犯到您的合法权益请联系我们删除