爱华网笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松。与此同时,笑话也是人们反对极权和专制制度的有力武器。下面是小编带来的史上最好笑的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!
史上最好笑的英语笑话篇一
Bring me a glass of milk
At 2 a. m. Mrs. Culkin was convinced that she had heard a prowler in the living-room. Tiptoe down-stairs, she told her husband, "Don' t turn on the lights. Sneak up him before he knows what's happening."
Dutifully Mr. Culkin put on his robe. Just as he reached the bedroom door, his wife added, "And when you come back, bring me a glass of milk."
给我捎杯牛奶
半夜两点，科尔肯太太确信听到客厅有贼，便对丈夫说：“别开灯，蹑手蹑脚下楼，别让贼发觉，悄悄靠近他。”
科尔肯先生披上外套，责无旁贷地去捉贼。刚走到卧室门口，他妻子又补充说：“回来时给我捎杯牛奶。”
史上最好笑的英语笑话篇二
The cost of marriage 婚姻的成本
The cost of marriage A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying."
婚姻的成本 一个小男孩问他的父亲，“爸爸，要花多少钱才能结婚呢?” “我也不知道，我现在还在交钱。”父亲回答。
史上最好笑的英语笑话篇三
Waste or Save 浪费还是节约
Waste or Save
Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don't you know you are wasting time?
Jack: Yes, Dad. But I've saved you a meal, haven' I?
浪费还是节约
父亲：噢，杰克，你又睡了一上午。难道你不知道你这是在浪费时间吗?
杰克：我知道，爸爸。可我还给您节省了一顿饭呢，是不是?
史上最好笑的英语笑话篇四
Something Really Cheap
After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.
“How about some perfume?”he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a $50.00 bottle.
“That’s a bit much,”said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.
“That’s still quite a bit,”Tim complained.
Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.
“What I mean,”said Tim, “is I’d like to see something really cheap.”
The clerk handed him a mirror.
真正便宜的东西
做完生意回来后，提姆觉得应该给妻子带点什么礼物回去。
“那些香水怎么卖啊?”他问卖化妆品的售货员。售货员给他展示了一支价值50美元的香水。
“看起来好像有点贵哦!”提姆说道。于是售货员又拿出一款30美元的香水。
“还是贵了点。”提姆抱怨道。
售货员开始有点恼火了，就给提姆一瓶很小的香水，价值15美元。
“我的意思是，”提姆说，“我想看看一些真正便宜的东西。”
售货员听了后，递给了提姆一面镜子。
史上最好笑的英语笑话篇五
The formula for water 水的分子式
The formula for water Teacher: What the chemical formula for water is the? Blonde: HIJKLMNO!! Teacher: What are you talking about? Blonde: Yesterday you said its H to O!
水的分子式 老师：水的分子式是什么? 花瓶：HIJKLMNO!! 老师：你在说什么? 花瓶：昨天你不是说H to O吗?
