爱华网笑话能够折射出社会生活中的方方面面,而且可以在说笑中蕴含着人们对于美好生活的期盼和诉求。下面是小编带来的超短简单英语小笑话，欢迎阅读!
超短简单英语小笑话精选
The Big Baby
"You'll have to take care of the baby today," a woman told her husband . " I'm not feeling well."
"Then you must stay in bed and rest, dear. " her husband said. "I'll be pleased to look after our baby. "
"Thank you. I'll have a quiet day and I'll soon get better. " his wife told him.
"Shall I do the shopping for you as well?" her husband asked.
She was very pleased and said, "That will help me very much. I'll give you a list of things to buy. "
She wrote out the list and gave it to him.
"You can get all these things at the supermarket," she said.
"You can put the baby in the shopping cart, then you won't have to leave him outside."
The man took the baby to the supermarket and put him in the shopping cart. Then he pushed the shopping cart along the rows of things to buy and looked for those that were on his list.
At first all was well, but then the baby began to cry.
Then he started to scream.
And scream!
And SCREAM!
"Keep calm ,George, " the man said. "Don't get excited. Don't shout, George. Don't lose your temper, George.
A woman in the supermarket heard him saying these things. She walked up to him.
"I think you are wonderful," she said. "You are so patient with your little George. "
"Madam, " the man said, "I'm George. He's Edward.
Notes:
(1) shopping cart 购物手推车 (3) lose one's temper发脾气
(2) scream v.尖声叫喊 (4) be patient with有耐性
Exercises:
根据短文选择正确答案：
① Why did the man take care of the baby?
A. it was his turn.
B. His wife was not well.
C. His wife was not at home.
D. He always looked after it.
② Why did the man take the baby to the supermarket?
A. He had to go shopping.
B. He wanted to show the baby to his friend.
C. He wanted to give the baby a ride in a shopping cart.
D. The baby liked going to the supermarket.
③ What did the baby do in the supermarket?
A. pushed the shopping cart
B. lost its temper
C. made a lot of noise
D. helped his father
④ Who was the man telling to keep calm?
A. the baby
B. Edward
C. the woman
D. himself
⑤ Finally we can infer from the story that_____ .
A. the man was very calm when the baby was crying
B. the woman was very pleased to see the man
C. the woman mistook George for the baby, while in fact the man was named George
D. the man was very busy in shopping, but he couldn't find all the goods on the list
37.大婴儿
“今天你得照看孩子，”女人对丈夫说，“我身体不舒服。”
“亲爱的，那你呆在床上休息，”丈夫说，“我很高兴照顾我们的孩子。”
“谢谢。今天我将清静一下了，我很快就会好点的。”
“我为你去买东西，好吗?”
她很高兴地说：“这帮我很大忙呢。我给你列个要买的东西的单子。”
她列好单子，递给他。
“在超级市场你能买到这些东西，”她说。
“你把孩子放在购物手推车里，就不用把孩子留在外面了。”
男人带着孩子到超市，把他放在推车里。然后推着车子沿着货架走，寻找单子列出的东西。
开始一切都进行得很顺利，接着孩子开始哭起来。
然后孩子开始尖声喊叫。
尖叫。
又尖叫。
“保持镇静，乔治，”男人说，“不要冲动。不要喊叫，乔治。不要发脾气，乔治。”
一个女人在超市听到他说的这些话。她走到他跟前。
“我觉得你真不错，“她说，”你对你的小乔治真有耐心。”
“夫人，”男人说，“我是乔治，他是爱德华。”
练习参考答案：
①B②A③C④D⑤C
超短简单英语小笑话阅读
Pears and Plume
I bought some pears at my local supermarket. At the checkout counter the cashier commented, "Oh, dear, I've charged you for plums instead of pears."
"What's the difference?" I asked.
"Well," she said, "plums are smaller and round."
Notes:
(1) pear n.梨
(2) supermarket n.超级市场
(3) checkout n.付账出口处
(4) cashier n.出纳员
(5) comment v.说话;发表意见
Exercises:
根据短文选择正确答案：
① Where was the customer?
A. The customer was at home.
B. The customer was in a small fruit shop.
C. The customer was at a local supermarket.
D. The customer was at the railway station.
② What did the customer buy?
A. some plums
B. some pears
C. some apples
D. The author bought nothing.
③ What does " comment " in the sentence“ At the checkout counter the cashier commented" mean?
A .to say
B. to argue
C. to disagree
D. to permit
④ What did the customer mean by saying "What's the difference?
A .the difference between the two prices
B. the difference between the appearances of pears and plums
C. the difference between the colors of the two kinds of fruits
D. the difference between the tastes of the two kinds of fruits
⑤ From the passage we can infer that_____ .
A. probably there is no price difference between the two kinds of fruits
B. there is a price difference between the two kinds of fruits
C. the cashier didn't know the price of pears
D. the customer was overcharged
38.梨子与李子
我在市超级市场买了些梨子。在付款台，出纳员说：“噢，天哪，你这是梨子，我按李子收钱了。”
“有什么区别吗?”我问，
“哦，”她说，“李子小一点儿但很圆。”
练习参考答案：
①C②B③A④A⑤A
超短简单英语小笑话学习
She Is Left-handed
A married couple, both avid golfers, were discussing the future one night. "Honey," the wife said, "if I were to die and you were to remarry, would you two live in this house?"
"I suppose so-it's paid for."
"How about our car?" continued the woman. "Would the two of you keep that?"
"I suppose so-it's paid for.
"What about golf clubs? Would you let her use them too?"
"Heck, no," the husband blurted out. "She's left-handed.
Notes:
(1) avid adj.热望的
(2) golfer n.打高尔夫球者
(3) It's paid for理所当然
(4) heck(俚语)地狱(用于感叹句中)
(5) blurt out脱口而出
Exercises:
根据短文回答下列问题：
① What were the married couple both keen on?
② What were they doing one night?
③ What would the man do if the woman were to die?
④ What would the man do with their house and car?
⑤ What does the last sentence of the passage imply?
39.她是左撇子
一对已婚夫妇都热心于打高尔夫球。一天夜里，他们在谈论将来。“亲爱的，”妻子说，“如果我死了，而你再婚，你们两个会住在这个房子里吗?”
“我想是的----这是理所当然的。”
“那我们的汽车呢?”妇人继续问道，“你们两个会留着这辆车吗?”
“我想是的----这是理所当然的。”
“那我们的球棒呢?你也会让她用吗?”
“见鬼，不，”丈夫脱口而出，“她是左撇子。”
练习参考答案：
① They were both keen on playing golf
② They were discussing their future.
③ He would remarry.
④ He would let his new wife live in the house and use the car .
⑤ The husband had a mistress already.
