爱华网幽默笑话是一种十分常见的语言现象，在日常生活中，它无处不在，起着十分重要的作用。下面是小编带来的用英语说的爆笑笑话，欢迎阅读!
用英语说的爆笑笑话篇一
昂贵的投资
A father had four sons. One went to the big city,where he became a wealthy businessman，the other three remained in their home town. When their father passed away,the successful son was too busy to attend the funeral，but he told his brothers to spare no expense，since he would pay all the costs.
一位父亲有四个儿子。一个儿子到了大城市成了一位富商，另外三个儿子留在了家乡。当父亲过世时，有钱的儿子太忙无法前来参加葬礼。但他吩咐其兄弟们，不要舍不得花钱，一切费用由他来支付。
Shortly thereafter，the wealthy son received an bill for $5,000 from the funeral director，which he paid. But every month afterward he got a bill for $27. Curious about this little item, he wrote to his brothers and asked the reason for the monthly charge.”You told us that we should spare no expense，“his brothers wrote back.“Since you said Dad would like to be in style，we rented him a tuxedo."
事隔不久，做富商的儿子从殡仪馆主管那儿收到了一张5000美元的发票，他付了帐。从这以后，他每月都收到一张27美元的帐票。他对这笔微薄的开销有点儿好奇，于是就写信给其兄弟，想知道其中的原因。
他的兄弟们写回信告诉他:“你告诉我们不必节省。既然你说爸爸的穿着要高稚脱俗，所以我们为他租了一套黑色礼服。”
用英语说的爆笑笑话篇二
警察的热心
I was surprised to learn that my 72-year-old mother dared to drive 900 miles in a 12-year-old car to visit me.When asked how she made out，she told me just fine...until her second night. She had filled the gas tank and didn't have the money for a motel room.
当听说我72岁的母亲居然开着12年的旧车行驶了900英里来看我时，我真有些吃惊。在我问她是如何做的时候，她告诉我她一切都好，只是到了第二天晚上，给汽车加油后却没有住旅馆的钱。
"What did you do?"I asked.
“那你怎么办了?”我问道。
" Well，"she began，“I was driving through this small town and feeling very sleepy. A policeman pulled me over and asked if I had been drinking. When I told him no，he wanted to know why I was weaving all over the road，I explained my situation,’‘Follow me，”he ordered.We then drove to a motel where the nice officer paid for my night's lodging.
她说:“嗨，我开到这个镇子时，感到很困，一位警寨叫住了我。他问我是否喝了酒，我说没喝。警察问我为什么开车在路上打晃晃。于是我解释了我的情况。他命令道:“跟我走。”就这样，我们就开到了一个汽车旅馆。警察替我付了住店费。
"As he was leaving,"Mother continued,”he turned to me and said,I Ma'am，the next time you have to visit your daughter，please take another route.'”
妈妈接着说:“他离开时，转过身，冲着我说:‘夫人，你下次要看儿女时，请走另一条路线吧!’”
用英语说的爆笑笑话篇三
训兽童
A boy of about ten was sitting on a city bus with a briefcase on his lap. Periodically the youngster would whisper into his coat. A woman passenger caught his eye with a quizzical look and，in response，the boy produced a small white mouse from his shirt pocket.”He's just a baby."explained the youngster. "His parents are in here. "Opening his briefcase，he brought forth a pair of slightly Larger. white mice from among a dozen or so that scurried around inside. By this time several other passengers had formed an audience, and the boy patiently explained his interest in mice，how to take care of them, their eating habits, their different personalities and so on.
一位十岁的男孩腿上放着会文箱，正坐在一辆城市公共汽车上。这个孩子不断地对着他衣服小声嘟嚷。一位女乘客从这个男孩的眼神里看到一种疑感。紧接着这个小男孩从他的衬衣兜里拿出一只小白鼠，并解绎说:“这是个鼠息子。他的父母也在这里。”打开他的手提箱，他从大约有十几个的白鼠中挑出一对稍大的。这时其他的乘客也围了过来。小男孩耐心地讲着他对白鼠的兴趣，怎样照顾它们，它们的饮食习惯及不同的特性。
As the bus pulled up to his stop，the boy slipped the mice back into his briefcase and rose to leave his rapt audience. Starting down the steps，he turned back for a moment.
待车在汽车站停下时，小男孩把小白鼠放回到手提箱，站起来，离开了这些着了迷的观众。他下车时转过身对大家说:“这些是用来喂我助蛇的。”说着，他就消失了。
"They are for my snake. "he said and disappeared out of the door.
