爱华网幽默和笑语都属于文体之一,它们的共同特点在对生活的不合理现象和乖缪不通进行批评和嘲讽。下面是小编带来的和英语有关的笑话，欢迎阅读!
和英语有关的笑话篇一
上帝曾经答应我
Once God came up to me and granted me a wish. I asked for world peace. That's impossible, he said.
Then I asked him to give you brains. He said, Let me try world peace.
有一次上帝来到我面前答应了我一个愿望。我说我要世界和平。“那是不可能的”他说。
然后我请让你变聪明。他说：“你还是让我试试让世界和平吧。”
和英语有关的笑话篇二
Thirteen 十三
A guy is walking past a big wooden fence at the insane asylum(精神病院) and he hears all the residents inside chanting, Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!
Quite curious about this, he finds a hole in the fence, and looks in. Someone inside pokes him in the eye.
Then everyone inside the asylum starts chanting, Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!
一个人在精神病院的木围墙外路过，听见里面所有的人在唱，十三!十三! 十三!
他很好奇，就找到围墙的一个洞，然后看进去。突然有个人捅到了他的眼睛。
然后里面所有人开始唱，十四!十四!十四!
和英语有关的笑话篇三
Who Is This 你是哪一个?
My two sister and I were all away at various colleges at the same time. One day, after facing one crisis too many and tired of being treated like just another undergraduate, I phoned home for some consolation1 and understanding of my unique problems.
When my dad answered, I immediately launched into my litany(连祷，冗长故事) offrustrations2 with college life. As I paused to catch my breath, he said, "O.K., honey...now, fist of all, who is this?"
我和两个妹妹同时离开家去不同的大学读书。经历了太多的危机，也厌倦了受到与其他大学生相同的对待之后，有一天我给家里打了个电话，就我独有的问题寻求安慰和理解。
爸爸接起电话后，我立刻开始历数我大学生活中的挫折。当我停下来歇口气时，爸爸说：“好啦，亲爱的...现在，首先告诉我，你是哪一个?”
和英语有关的笑话篇四
One Point 一分之差
Hanging in the hallway at Whites High School in Wabash, Ind., and the basketball team pictures from the past 40 years. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year - "62-63", "63-64", "64-65", etc.
One day I spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos. Turning to me, he said, "Isn't it strange how the teams always lost by one point?"
位于印第安那州瓦巴西的怀兹中学，其门厅里悬挂着过去四十年间样篮球队的照片。每幅照片前排中间的队员举着一个篮球，上面标明年份-“62-63”，“63-64”，“64-65”等等。
一天，我看到一个新生很困惑地看着照片。他朝我转过身来，说道：“多奇怪呀，这些队都是以一分之差输掉的!"
和英语有关的笑话篇五
Ground Rules 基本原则
One of my favorite teachers at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau was known of his droll(滑稽的) sense of humor. Explaining his ground rules to one freshmanclass, he said, "Now I know my lectures can often be dry and boring, so I don't mind if you look at your watches during class. I do, however, object to your pounding them on the desk to make sure they're still running."
位于吉拉多海角的密苏里东南州立大学有一位我非常喜欢的老师，他奇特的幽默感很是出名。在对一个新生班级讲解他的基本原则时，他说：“我知道我的讲课可能经常会枯燥乏味，了无生趣，所以如果你们在上课时看表我并不介意。不过我坚决反对你们将表在课桌上猛敲看它们是不是还在走。”
