爆笑笑话精选 爆笑的英语笑话故事精选

笑话就是逗人开心的,人伤心的时候,说一个笑话,就会马上开心了!本文是爆笑的英语笑话故事,希望对大家有帮助!

爆笑的英语笑话故事:汪汪叫的妻子

A man who had been married for ten years was consulting a marriage counselor. “When I was first married,I was very happy. I'd come home from a hard day down at the shop,and my little dog would race around barking,and my wife would bring me my slippers.Now everything's changed.When I come home,my dog brings me my slippers,and my wife barks at me.” “I don't know what you're complaining about,”said the counselor.“You're still getting the same service.”

一个结婚十年的男人正在请教一位婚姻顾问。“刚结婚那会儿,我非常幸福。我在店里劳累一天回到家,我的小狗会绕着我跑,汪汪叫,而我的妻子给我拿来拖鞋。现在一切都变了。我回到家里,我的狗给我拿来拖鞋,我的妻子对着我汪汪叫。” “我不知道你在抱怨什么,”婚姻顾问说。“你得到的服务还是一样的呀。”

爆笑的英语笑话故事:A Speeding Motorist

A highway patrol officer stopped a speeding motorist. "Don't you know what the blinking lights and siren mean?" he demanded.

"Yes, sir," replied the driver.

"Then why didn't you pull over immediately?"

"I would have, officer, " the man said. "But last month my wife ran off with a policeman, and I was afraid you were bringing her back.

一位公路巡警截住了一个超速司机。“难道你不知道闪烁灯和警笛的意思吗?”他责问道。

“知道,长官,”司机回答说。

“那你为什么不立即靠边停车?”

“我本来想这样做的,长官。”那男子回答说,“但上个月我妻子和一位警察私奔了,我是害怕你把她带回来。”

爆笑笑话精选 爆笑的英语笑话故事精选

爆笑的英语笑话故事:新生儿

Mr.and Mrs.Taylor had a seven year old boy named Pat.Now Mrs.Taylor was expecting another child. Pat had seen babies in other people's houses and had not liked them very much,so he was not delighted about the news that there was soon going to be one in his house too. One evening Mr.and Mrs.Taylor were making plans for the baby's arrival.“This house won't be big enough for us all when the baby comes,”said Mr.Taylor. Pat came into the room just then and said,“What are you talking about?”“We were saying that we'll have to move to an other house now,because the new baby's coming,”his mother answered. “ It's no use,”said Pat hopelessly.“ He'll follow us there.”

泰勒夫妇有一个七岁的男孩,名叫帕特。现在泰勒太太正怀着第二胎。 帕特在别人家看见过婴儿,他不太喜欢他们,所以他对自己家里也将有一个婴儿的消息感到不满。 一天晚上,泰勒夫妇正在为这个婴儿的降生计划做安排。泰勒先生说:“有了婴儿,我们的房子就太小,不够住了。” 帕特恰好在这个时候走进屋,他问:“你们在说什么?”他的母亲回答说:“我们在说我们现在得搬家,因为婴儿就要诞生了。” “那没用,”帕特绝望地说。“他会跟我们到那儿去的。”

爆笑的英语笑话故事:接着走吧

Seth Smith was reckoned the laziest man in town. Sotired had the authorities become of contributing to his supportthat they decided to consign him to a living tomb. Accordinglyhe was prepared for burial. The hearse was an old ramshacklecountry wagon. As the strange cortege moved along some old residentasked,“Who is it?” “Why,Seth Smith, who is too lazy to get anything to liveon, so we are going to bury him alive.” “I'll give him a bushel of corn,” said one.“And I will,”said another. Slowly raising his head, Seth asked:“Is the corn shelled,neighbor?” “No,you must do that yourself.” Gently replacing his head, he said:“ Drive on, boys,drive on.”

塞思·史密斯被公认为镇上头号懒人。长官们实在懒得再供养他,便决定把他送进一个天然坟墓里去。于是他被准备着去埋葬,灵车是一辆摇摇晃晃的乡下旧马车。正当这列奇怪的送葬队伍在行进时,一些老街坊问道:“这是谁啊?”“唉,塞思·史密斯,他懒得没法活了,我们这就去把他活埋。”“我来给他一蒲式耳谷子吧,”一个人说。“我也给,”另一个说。 塞思慢慢抬起头来问道:“谷子脱粒了吗,街坊?” “没有,你得自己来。”他缓缓把头放回原处说:“接着走吧,孩子们,接着走吧。”

  

爱华网本文地址 » http://www.413yy.cn/a/216961/82544304.html

更多阅读

英语短文精选 关于h7n9的英语短文精选

2013年春季,一种新的禽源性甲型流感(H7N9)病毒在中国出现。作为一种新发呼吸道传染病,人感染H7N9禽流感起病急,病情进展迅速,很短的时间内即出现ARDS、休克、肾功能衰竭、多脏器功能不全,总体病死率39.2%。小编精心收集了关于h7n9的

英语短文精选 关于购物的英语短文精选

写作作为语言输出的一个重要部分,不仅体现了学习者的表达能力,而且也反映了学习者语言综合应用能力。小编精心收集了关于购物的英语短文,供大家欣赏学习!关于购物的英语短文篇1With the development of e-commerce, shopping online

英语短文精选 关于朋友的英语短文精选

友谊,需要真诚来维护,朋友之间需要真诚,如果失去了真诚。小编整理了关于朋友的英语短文,欢迎阅读!关于朋友的英语短文篇一Maybe you will surprise that my best friend is book. But you don’t need to suspect you hearing, it’s

哲理短文精选 含哲理的英语故事短文精选

岁月,是一首诗,一首蕴含丰富哲理的诗,岁月是一峰骆驼,驮着无数人的梦想。小编整理了含哲理的英语故事短文,欢迎阅读!含哲理的英语故事短文:月出Rising MoonThere is a hill near my home that I often climb at night.我家附近有座小山

英语短文精选 关于春天的英语短文精选

春天的原野到处是欣欣向荣的景象。春天,漫山遍野的杜鹃花竞相开放。小编精心收集了关于春天的英语短文,供大家欣赏学习!关于春天的英语短文篇1Is coming! Spring is coming! The beautiful, flowers in full bloom in the spring i

声明:《爆笑笑话精选 爆笑的英语笑话故事精选》为网友缺爱的孤独患者分享!如侵犯到您的合法权益请联系我们删除