爱华网笑话长期以来一直被学界视为不登大雅之堂的小众。下面是小编带来的英语小笑话带中文，欢迎阅读!
英语小笑话带中文大全
(一)
A Half
一半
Patient:Doctor, lately I hear only half as well as I suppose to.
病人：医生，最近我的听力只有我应该听到的一半。
Doctor:I don't understand that, but let's try a small test. Say after me: eighty-eight.
医生：我不太明白，但是让我们做个小测试。跟我说:88。
Patient:Forty-four.
病人：44。
(二)
Hurts
疼痛
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."
一位男士去看医生，说，“医生，无论我碰哪里，哪里都疼。”
The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"
医生问，“你是什么意思?”
The man says，“When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee-OUCH!When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."
这个人说，“当我碰我的肩膀时，肩膀很疼。当我碰我的膝盖——哎呦!当我碰我的额头时，它真的，真的很痛。”
The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you-you've broken your finger!"
医生说，“我知道你哪里有毛病了——你的手指破了!”
英语小笑话带中文欣赏
(一)
Sleeping Pills
安眠药
Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.
鲍勃晚上失眠。他去看医生，医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。
Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm.He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble abetting up this morning."
星期天晚上鲍勃呼了药，睡得很好，在闹钟响之前就醒了。他到了办公室，溜达进去，对老板说：“我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。”
“That's fine” roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"
“好啊!”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了?”
(二)
Let Me Show You How
让我教你
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work.
家超市雇用了一个年轻人，他第一天上班报到。
The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom,and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store."
经理热情地欢迎了他，和他握手微笑，之后递给他一把扫帚说，“你的第一份工作是打扫商店。”
“But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly.
“但是，我是名大学毕业生，”年轻人愤怒地回答道。
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom—I' 11 show you how."
“噢，对不起。我没注意，”经理说。“来，把扫帚给我—我教你如何做。”
经典的英语小笑话带中文
(一)
I Cannot Leave
我不能走
There was a meeting with a large number of people. At first the speaker was very interesting, but as time went on, he became very boring. Finally when he was through,there was only one man sitting in the large room. The speaker walked up to the man and said, "Thank you for hearing me out when all the others left the room." "Oh! Don't mention it!" replied the man, "I cannot leave because I am the next speaker."
一大批人在开会。最开始，发言的人讲得很有趣，但时间慢慢地过去，他变得很沉闷。最后，当他讲完的时候，只有一个人坐在大房间里。发言者走上前去，对他说，“其他所有人都走了，而你却听到最后，谢谢你。”“哦!别客气!”那人回答说，“我不能走，因为我是下一位发言者。”
(二)
A visitor to the zoo noticed one of the keepers sobbing quietly in a corner and on inquiry was told that the elephant had died.
一名参观动物园的游客注意到一名饲养员正躲在角落里默默地哭泣。他问是怎么回事，别人告诉他大象死了。
"Fond of him，was he?"the visitor asked.
“他很喜欢那头大象，是吧?”游客问道。
"It's not that,"came the reply. "He's the chap who has to dig the grave."
“并非如此，”那人回答说，“他负责给大象挖墓穴。”
