爱华网幽默故事，能让你在信手翻启间开怀一笑，得到身心的彻底放松、心绪的怦然萌动、情感的欣然释放。下面小编为大家带来三则幽默妙趣的英语故事，欢迎大家阅读!
幽默妙趣英语故事：倒霉的一天There was a guy in a bar, just looking at his drink.
一个男人坐在酒吧里，看着自己的酒发呆。
He stayed like that for half an hour.
他这个样子已经有半个小时了。
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver stepped up next to him,took the drink from the guy, and drank it all down.
这时，一个好惹事的卡车司机走到他旁边，从他手里一把抢过酒杯，把酒喝了个精光。
The poor man started crying.
可怜的男人大哭起来。
The truck driver said, "Come on man, I was just joking.
卡车司机说，“拜托，哥们，我只是在和你开个玩笑。
Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying"
这样吧，我再给你买一杯，我实在受不了看着一个大男人哭。”
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life.
“不，不是那样的。今天是我这辈子最倒霉的日子。
First, I was late getting to my office.
首先，我上班迟到了，
My boss was outrageous, and fired me.
我的老板是个蛮横的家伙，他把我炒了。
When I left the building to go to my car, I found out it was stolen.
当我离开办公楼去取车时，发现我的车被偷了,
The police say they can do nothing.
警察却说他们对此无能为力。
I got a cab to return home,and when I left it,
于是我只好打车回家，下了车，
I remembered I left my wallet and credit cards there.
我发现钱包和信用卡都落在了车上，
The cab driver just drove away.
但那个出租车司机已经把车开走了。
When I got home, I found my wife in bed with the gardener.
我回到家，发现我老婆和园丁正在床上鬼混。
I left home and came to this bar.
我离开家，来到这个酒吧。
And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life,you show up and drink my poison"
而现在，正当我考虑要结束我的生命，你出现了，还喝了我的毒酒。”
幽默妙趣英语故事：宝贝待售A New Mum took her baby daughter to the supermarket for the first time.
一个年轻的妈妈头一回带着她的宝贝女儿到超市买东西，
She dressed her in pink from head to toe.
她把小宝贝从头到脚穿上粉红色的衣服。
At the store, she placed her in the shopping cart and put her purchases around her.
在商场，她把小女孩放在购物车里，把买来的东西都推在孩子周围。
At the checkout line a small boy and his mother were ahead of them.
在付款台前排队时，一个小男孩和他妈妈正好排在她们前面。
The child was crying and begging for some special treat.
那个小男孩在哭，看上去在向他妈要着什么东西，年轻的妈妈想，
He wants some candy or gumand his mother won't let him have any, she thought.
这个小孩一定是要糖果或是口香糖之类的玩意儿，而他妈妈又不给，所以才闹得这么厉害。
Then she heard his mother's reply.
然而就在这个时候，她听到男孩的妈妈一边回答说，
"No!"she said, looking in her direction.
“不行，”一边往她的方向看过来，
"You may not have a baby sister today. That lady got the last one"
“你今天不能买一个小妹妹了，那位女士把最后一个买走了!”
幽默妙趣英语故事：小心有狗As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning, "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the glass door.
一名陌生人走进一家乡间小商店，看到玻璃门上帖着的一个告示牌上写着，“危险! 小心有狗!”
Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register.
进去后，他看到一条样子一点都不凶的老狗趴在收款机旁边的地板上睡觉。
"Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" he asked the owner.
“这就是大伙都得留神的那只狗啊?” 陌生人问店主。
"Yep, that's him," came the reply.
“是，就是他”，店主回答。
The stranger couldn't help but be amused.
听到这个回答， 陌生人觉得很好笑。
"That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"
“我觉得那条狗一点都不可怕。 你帖那个告示做什么?”
"Because," the owner explained, "Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him!"
“因为，” 店主解释说，“在我帖告示之前， 大伙老被他绊倒。”
