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关于爆笑的英文笑话：兔子的论文
It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.
这是一个阳光灿烂的晴朗日子，森林里一只小兔子坐在洞穴外，在打字机上敲敲打打。这时一只散步的狐狸走了过来。
Fox: "What are you working on?"
狐狸：“你在做什么呢?”
Rabbit: "My thesis."
兔子：“写我的论文。”
Fox: "Hmmm. What's it about?"
狐狸：“唔，是关于什么的?”
Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."
兔子：“噢，我在写兔子是怎样吃掉狐狸的。”
Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes."
狐狸：“你太搞笑了吧!谁都知道兔子不吃狐狸。”
Rabbit: "Sure they do, and I can prove it. Come with me."
兔子：“兔子当然吃，我能证明的。跟我来。”
They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After a few minutes, the rabbit returns, alone, to his typewriter and resumes typing.
它们一起消失在兔子的洞穴里，几分钟后只有兔子独自出来了。它回到打字机前继续敲打。
Soon, a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.
很快，一只狼走了过来，停下看着兔子奋力工作。
Wolf: "What's that you're writing?"
狼：“你在写什么呢?”
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."
兔子：“我在写论文，关于兔子如何吃掉狼。”
Wolf: "You don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"
狼：“你不会指望这种垃圾论文被发表吧!”
Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"
兔子：“能发表，你想知道为什么吗?”
The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow, and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.
兔子和狼一起进了洞穴，而兔子又一次独自走了出来。几分钟后它继续打字。
Inside the rabbit's burrow: In one corner, there is a pile of fox bones. In another corner, a pile of wolf bones. On the other side of the room, a huge lion is belching and picking his teeth.
兔子洞穴里：一个角落里是一堆狐狸骨头，另一角落里是一堆狼骨头。而另一侧是一只狮子，它边打着饱嗝，边剔着牙齿。
It doesn't matter what you choose for a thesis subject.
论文的题目选什么无关紧要。
It doesn't matter what you use for data.
你用什么作为例证数据也无关紧要。
What does matter is who you have for a thesis advisor.
真正重要的是：你的论文导师是谁!
关于爆笑的英文笑话：绝妙的技巧
after friends of mine landed at busy newwark airport, they were unable to attract the attention of any porters to help with their luggage. in desperation, the husband took out a five-dollar bill and waved it above the crowd.
我的朋友们在繁忙的纽瓦克机场着陆后，他们却不能招呼到脚夫来帮他们搬行李。无奈，丈夫拿出一张五美元的钞票在人群上面摇晃。
in an instant, a skycap was at his side. sir, observed the porter, you certainly have excellent communication skills.
一个带宽边帽的人马上来到他身边。“先生，”脚夫说道，“很明显你有绝妙的交际技巧。”
关于爆笑的英文笑话：漂亮的结婚礼物
we attended the wedding of an acquaintance's son. because we did not know the young man or his bride, we decided to send them a practical household gift, a fire extinguisher. apparently, the couple mass-produced their thank-you notes because we received a card saying: thank you very much for the nice wedding gift. we look forward to using it soon.
我们参加了一个熟人的儿子的婚礼。由于我们都不认识那个年轻人和他的新娘，所以我们决定送给他们一个实用的全家礼----一个灭火器。很明显，这对新人大批量制作了他们的感谢信，因为我们收到了一张卡片，上面写着：“非常感谢您的漂亮的结婚礼物，我们期待着不久就用到它。”
关于爆笑的英文笑话：超速行驶的原因
harry and lloyd were speeding down the road. a police car pulled them over.
哈里与劳埃德超速行驶，一辆警车拦住了他们。
"why on earth were you driving so fast?" the policeman yelled.
“你们为什么开那么快?”警官喊道。
"our brakes are no good, so we wanted to get there before we had an accident!
“我们的刹车不好，因此我们想在发生事故前赶紧到达目的地。”
关于爆笑的英文笑话：精神病医生
Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." How much do you charge?" A hundred dollars per visit." I'll sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" Ain't nobody under there now!!!
杰瑞去看精神病医生。“医生，我有些不对劲。每次睡觉的时候，我都感觉有人在床下。我要疯了!”“给我一年时间，”医生说，“每周来三次，我会治好你。”“费用是多少呢?”“每次一百美元。”“我会认真考虑的。”杰瑞答道。六个月后医生和杰瑞在街上相遇了，“为什么你再也没来呢?”医生问。“一次一百块钱吗?有个酒吧服务生收了十块钱就把我治好了。”“真的?他怎么做到的?”“他让我把床腿锯掉。现在那没人了!”
