爱华网“笑话”是引人发笑的故事.”这个有关笑话这种民间文学体裁的定义着眼于一个特殊的角度:“人——”听众,即笑话的接受者。下面是小编带来的2016美式幽默英文笑话，欢迎阅读!
2016美式幽默英文笑话篇一
Don't Get Caught
不要被逮着了!
Out in the forest preserve, a man strolled up to the fisher man and asked whether he'd had any luck.
在森林保护区内，有个人走向一位正在钓鱼的老兄并问他有没有收获。
yesterday I caught fourteen bass in the morning and another twelve in the afternoon ,
“今天什么也没有，不过你应该昨天来见我才是。昨天早上我钓了十四尾鲈鱼，下午钓了十二尾呢!”
"Well, that's very interesting. Do you know who I am?"
“哦，那相当不错嘛，你知道我是谁吗?”
"No."
“不知道。”
"I happen to be the game warden "
“我恰巧就是监视狩猎的管理员。”
"Oh. And do you know who I am? I’m the biggest liar you ever laid eyes on "
“哦，那你又知道我是谁吗?我是你所发现最会说谎话的人。”
2016美式幽默英文笑话篇二
Learning to Share
学习共同分享
Johnny divided a piece of pie into two pieces, kept the bigger piece for himself and gave the smaller piece to his sister.
强尼把一块派一分为二，把大的留给自己，小的给他妹妹。
"Hey," said his sister, "if I'd divided the pie, I would have kept the smaller piece for myself. "
“嘿，如果是我来分那块派，我会把小的留给我自己，”妹妹说
"Well, that's what you got, so what are you complaining about?"
“你不是分到小块的吗，还抱怨什么呢?”
2016美式幽默英文笑话篇三
Aren't Kidss Wonderful ?
小孩子实在了不起!
Mother got on the train with Little Johnny and Little Ronny.
妈妈和小强尼、小罗尼一起搭乘火车。
Little Johnny was full of questions, as usual: "What's an emergency brake, Mommy?"
小强尼一如往常问东问西，“妈咪，什么是紧急煞车?"
“Why did that policeman ask to see our tickets?"
“为什么那位警察叔叔要看我们的车票?"
"Why can't I lean out the window?" etc.
“为什么身体不能伸出窗外?"等等诸如此类问题。
His mother was becoming ever more exasperated.
妈妈实在忍不住要发脾气了。
Finally, Little Johnny asked, "What was that last station we stopped at, Mommy?"
最后小强尼又问：“妈咪，刚刚火车停靠的是哪一站?”
"I don't know, Johnny, and will you please stop pestering me? I'm trying to read. "
“我不知道，强尼，你可不可以不要烦我，我正在看书呢!”
A few minutes of silence passed. Then Johnny said, "It's too bad you don't know what station that was, 'cause that's where Little Ronny got off. "
一阵安静后，强尼说：“真糟糕，你竟然不知道罗尼下车的那个车站。"
2016美式幽默英文笑话篇四
A Lesson in Philosophy
哲学课一则
Why worry?
何必忧虑呢?
Really, you have only two things.to worry about-either you are sick or you are well.
真的，你只有两件事要担心，你不是会生病就是身体健康。
If you are well, you have nothing to worry about,
如果你身体健康，那么就没什么好担心的。
and if you are sick, you have only two things to worry about-either you get well or you die.
如果生病的话，只要担忧两件事，你不是康复就是死亡。
If you get well, you have nothing to worry about,
如果你康复的话，什么也不必担心。
and if you die, you have only two things to worry about-either you go to heaven or you go to hell.
如果不幸死亡的话，你只要担心两件事，你不是上天堂就是下地狱。
If you go to heaven, you have nothing to worry about,
如果上天堂，什么也不需要你担忧。
and if you go to hell.you'll be so busy shaking hands with old friends, you won't have time to worry !
要是下地狱的话，你会忙着和老朋友握手寒暄，连担忧事情的时间都没有!
2016美式幽默英文笑话篇五
Wow!That's a Bi g One!
哇!那个真是大得吓人
One day a tourist walked into a Texas tavern and ordered a shot of whiskey. The bartender put a big tumbler full of whiskey in front of him.
某一天一位观光客走进一家德州酒店点了一杯威士忌，酒保竞给他一大杯的酒。
"What,s this?" asked the tourist.
“这是什么呢?，’观光客问道。
"Why, it,s a shot of whiskey! Don't you know that everything is big in Texas?"
“怎么了，那是你点的酒，难道你不知道德州每样东西都大得吓人。”
Then, an armadillo ran past the door.
那时刚好有一只穿山甲跑过酒店门口。
“What was that?" asked the tourist.
“那是什么东西?’观光客又问。
"Why, that was a Texas cockroach. "
“哦，那是只德州蟑螂!”
By this time, the whiskey had gone to the tourist's bladder as well as his head,
喝了酒，观光客感到腹胀头昏，
and he asked the location of the bathroom
他问哪里有洗手间，
The bartender directed him to go down the hall and to the right,
酒保告诉他下楼后右转，
but the tourist turned left instead and fell into the swimming pool.
但观光客却向左转，跌落在酒店的游泳池中。
The bartender heard the splash and went to investigate.
酒保听到水声跑出去看个究竟，
As he put his head in the door, he heard the tourist cry. "Don,t flush the toilet ! "
刚把头伸进门就听到观光客大叫，“不要按动马桶冲水哟!
