爱华网笑话是实际生活中客观存在的，作为文学式样，它的特征是戏谑、讽刺，其功能是启迪、警示。它渊源流长、值得研究、探讨。 下面是小编带来的经典英语简短小笑话阅读，欢迎阅读!
经典英语简短小笑话阅读篇一
The doctor lives downstairs
医生住在楼下
"Doctor,"she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me.”
”医生“她冲进屋后大声说道。"我想让你坦率地告诉我，我到底得了什么病。"
He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam,”he said at length, “l've just three things to telf you. First,your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, l'm an artist,the doctor lives downstairs."
他从头到脚打量了她，然后大声说：“太太，我有三件事要对你说。第一，您的体重需要减少大约50磅;第二，如您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口红，您的相貌将会变美。第三，我是一位画家——医生住在楼下。”
经典英语简短小笑话阅读篇二
Are you a normal person?
你精神正常吗?
During a visit to the mental asylum,a visitor asked the director, "What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?""Well..." said the director, "we fill up a bathtub,and we offer a teaspoon, a teacup,and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub."Oh,I understand,n said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup."Noooooooo! n answered the director. "A normal person would pull the plug."
一个参观者在参观一所精神病院的时候问院长，”你们是用什么标准来决定一个人是否应该进精神病院呢?””哦……¨院长说，“是这样，我们先给一个浴缸放满水，然后我们给病人一个茶匙，一个茶杯和一个水桶去把浴缸里面的水放清。“哦，我明白了¨，参观者说，”正常人会选择水桶，因为水桶比茶匙和茶杯的容积大。””错了”，院长回答道，正常人会把浴缸塞子拔掉。
经典英语简短小笑话阅读篇三
Who's going deaf ?
谁要聋了?
A man tells a doctor, ”I think my wife's going deaf. What can I do ? "
丈夫告诉医生："我想我的妻子快要聋了，我可以做些什么呢?"
The doctor says, "VVell, trY to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question-If she doesn't answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. That way we can see how bad the problem is." The man goes home, sees his wife and says, "Hi honey, what's for dinner ? " He doesn't hear an answer, so he moves closer. "Honey, what's for dinner ? " He repeats this severaltimes, until he's standing right next to her. Finally,she answers, "For the tenth time, I said we-re having Pot Roast!"
医生告诉他："嗯，先尝试测测她的听力吧。站在离她有一段距离的地方，问一个问题，如果她没有回答，走近一点再问一遍.一直重复直到她回答为止。这样我们就可以知道情况有多糟了。“丈夫回到家，看见妻子便问：¨亲爱的，晚餐吃什么?¨他没有听到回答，于是走近一点再问：¨亲爱的，晚餐吃什么呢?这样重复了好几次，直到他就站在妻子旁边了。
终于，她回答了：¨这是第十次了，我说我们吃炖肉.
经典英语简短小笑话阅读篇四
a guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of thei head with a frying pan. he asks, "what was that for ?"she says, " i found a piece of paper in your pocket with'betty sue' written on it.' ha says, "jeez,honey, 'betty sue'was the name of the horse i bet on.h she shrugs and walks away.
一个家伙正在看报纸，他的妻子走到他身后，用一只煎锅敲他的后脑勺。他问道：“这是为什么?”她说：“我在你口袋里发现了一张写有‘betty sue’的纸条。"他说：¨哎呀，亲爱的，‘bettysue’是我赌的那匹马的名字。口她耸了耸肩，走了。
three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan. he asks, "what was that for?一she answers, "your horse called."
三天后，他正在看报纸，妻子走到他身后，又用一只煎锅敲他的后脑勺。他问：这又是为什么?“她答道：-你的马打电话来了。”
经典英语简短小笑话阅读篇五
An absent-minded husband
心不在焉的丈夫
I was accompanying my husband on a business trip. He carried his portable computer with him, and the guard at the airport gate asked him to open the case. It was locked, and the man waited patiently as my embarrassed spouse struggled to remember the combination. At last he succeeded.
我陪丈夫一起出差，他带着他的笔记本电脑。到了机场出口处时， 有位检查员要他打开包。但是包锁上了，机场工作人员耐心地等着我那窘迫的丈夫设法回想起暗锁的密码。最后他终于想起来了。
“Why are you so nervous?"I asked him.
”你为什么那么紧张呢?“我问他。
"The numbers are the date of our annivorsary.my husband confessed.
“密码是我们的结婚纪念日。”他承认道”
